>be me
>doctor
>6th century or some shit
>at my doctor stand counting leeches
>former lover approaches
>left me for the farmers boy
>feels bad.parchment
>I'm wearing Creepy Doctor mask
>she has no idea it's me
>lol.oiloncanvas
> put on deep doctor voice
>"COME CHILD. WHAT ILNESS IS UPON YE ?"
> "I believe I have contracted disease of the cunt from the farmers boy" she says
>ye, right
>more like the whole jousting team
>Goatish wench.painting
>take a look at her cunt region
> pretend to know which hole the cunt is
>they don't teach you this stuff at doctor school
>"ah, I see what the problem is"
>still no idea why there are two cunt holes
>give her leeches and send her home
>leeches solve everything
>after she leaves go tell Baron about evil witch with two cunt holes
>she's burnt at stake
>so is farmers boy
>teach them for breaking this doctors heart
>mfw
Be me
10/10
Would read again
quality story, tell me another
>moar.tapestry
KEK
Actually kek'd
">Goatish wench.painting"
DEAD
Creepy doctor masks weren't really popular until the plague, second millenia onwards
oil wasn't harnessed as a painting medium until the Dutch lowlands did so in the 14thc
Are you the same guy?
Why OP?
>Being this NEET
...
Nope. Loved them so I thought I'd do one as I haven't seen any new in a while
...
I didn't think it was funny but it's easily better than 90% of the greentexts people post so good job.
Do you like other doctor green texts or is it just this one you find unfunny ?
More doctor greentexts please
Actually I liked it a little better than the originals but I guess it's just not my type of humor or something.
...
Topgig
bump
Since everyone seemed to enjoy this ill probably do some more over the next few days so keep an eye out
do it
You don't have to.
My sides
topeth of keks
1st half of story = 9/10. 2nd half = 6/10.
Good shit, OP
Oh this copypasta again. Keeps the summerfags busy I guess
It's not copied faggot
>niggers
>is nigger
fuck off faggot, he already said he was going to
go eat a dick
Next one will be dedicated to you user
thanks Sup Forumsro
>that sorrow when everyone is too much of a fop
He doesn't have to any more than you have to be a raging faggot but I already know you're both going to do it anyway.
you know it
>be me
>14th-century doctor
>probably
>whothefuckknows.manuscript
>chillin in my tower or w/e
>stabbing frog with knife to see if it dies
>7/10 wench busts in
>asks if i can help
>cropsfallingoutofmyrobe.tapestry
>wench brought baby with her
>never seen a live baby before
>she says its been coughing
>have zero clue what to do
>tell her to put baby on table
>she bends over, givin me a view of them peasant titties
>look at baby
>its fucking squirming around and bubbling at the mouth
>smells like shit and piss, but then again who doesn't
>absolutelydisgusting.fresco
>can't think of anything to say
>she breaks down crying
>can't comfort her because i am a scary doctor
>"can you help at all?"
>fuck no i cant help
>what kind of peasant even has live babies anymore
>still, gotta do something
>turn the baby upside down
>decide to shake it a little
>holy shit baby stops coughing
>miracleofmodernmedicine.frescoseco
>i gotta write this shit down
>remember i can't write
>feelsbadsir.scroll
>"THE CHILD HAS BEEN CLEANSED. GO IN PEACE"
>wench thanks me and takes her shitty baby away
>go back to stabbing frogs
>i am the best doctor
then they all die because their dick turns black and falls off
I don't get it
Plague doctors were a thing in the 13th century, not the 6th. Also, this is clearly based on one of those "Best of Sup Forums" screencaps
Not OP
>He didn't examine her
>6/10
>whole village hears about baby story
>become most popular doctor in the land
>asked by lord to be court doctor
>movingonuptotheessexside.painting
>move into new tower in the castle
>people here fucking suck
>priest leers at me
>does some weird shit with his hands
>wtfthisblackguarddoing.illuminatedmanuscript
>whatever
>moving doctor tools into new digs
>page helping me move is wheezing
>fucker looks like he's about to drop my leeches
>decide to play a prank on him
>we get to top of tower
>"BOY"
>looks like he's about to piss himself
>"y-yes, milord?"
>"YOU HAVE GAZED UPON ME FOR TOO LONG. YOUR HEAD WILL DEVOUR YOUR EYES TO BALANCE YOUR HUMORS"
>he literally shits himself
>pleads with me to help
>implying i can actually help
>iseriouslyhopeyounoblemendontdothis.banner
>stupid kid can't see me smiling under mask
>"I MUST NEEDS REMOVE YOUR SIGHT FOR THE NUNCE"
>before he can react, tie a sheep intestine over this kid's eye
>use doctor stick to push him down tower steps
>head splits open on stone
>rollingoncastlefloorlaughingmyarseoff.tabard
>blame the priest for it
>priest gets beheaded
>they give his head to me
>use it to store leeches
>i hate priests so fucking much
moar op this is goodshit
nigga these
ain't from op. i wrote that shit. i'ma hit you up with another
Lol
id read it
after i read .painting you just werent trying anymore.
ended it well though. still keked
I am a studied german historian (Ph.D.) and can second this.
But would read again/10
>>smells like shit and piss, but then again who doesn't
M8 you deserve a medal
You had to ruin it
Well you're on the Un official fb page for Sup Forums
>Be local doctor
>Obviously the best because my mask was crafted with the finest materials and looks spooky
>Some doctor comes in saying he has been doing research on the black plague and he says staying bathed and clean is the best method to help avoid it
>Isthispesantserious.lamplightparchment
>Obviously letting the dirt form a healthy crust around your body will help keep the bacteria at bay.
>I decided to deal with this obviously not spooky doctor.
The story continues
lmao do moar of these
...
>Getting rid of this false doctor should not be done so easily, no no no
>I must plan this in such a way he cannot recover
>Find out from local wench that he is to perform surgery on his firstborn son
>Thedeedisdone.Townsquareposter
>Break into his home as he sleeps
>Creatan owns a white silk gown and a mask adorned with leather where you can see his eyes
>not allowing the blood to dry onto your suit to let peasants know how many surgeries you have done
>Take his mask
>Let god smile upon me
>Get my jar of bees I always have at my side for cases such as this
>place a couple into his mask resting with his daisies
>take the mask with me and wait for the sun to shine on our kingdom
>The doctor will not recover
serves you right
OP, I love you.
/thread
>Morning of surgery
>"Where is my mask? have you seen my mask?"
>Laugh at the wind aloud
>Hand him the mask and make an excuse saying
>"oh you left this while doing research on the boy with the unfair skin."
>He thanks me and runs off to the king.
>No friend, thank you
>Sip my tonic through my mask
>Hear from the guards that the doctor panicked for some strange reason and killed the son by accident
>He was killed immediately
>FeelingIsSatisfactory.movingartofwitchcraft
>Find out the king now has no hier to the thrown
>The king has gone mad and is killing peasants left and right
>The god has blessed me by making me the only doctor
>Immune to death by beheading
>laugh softly
serves him right for trying to strip me of my divine position
I am Ryder the third, king of the plague
I love you too user
1. didn't have plague doctor masques in the 6th century. they made an appearance during the black death
2. doctors didn't have stands and didn't count their leeches. they were abundant and collected by others and some doctors had them breeding. doctors usually had homes and quite nice ones and sometimes travelled to help others
3. people didn't say 'ye' the y became a substitute way of writing the 'th' in the medieval period: it was 'thee'.
4. if a doctor was addressing a child, he would most likely have used the familiar form, so instead of 'thee', the doctor would have asked "what is ailing THOU?"
5. there weren't jousting teams, there were individuals, usually knights, and their helpers, usually pages. Jousting did not become a sport until the high middle ages, so again...6th century inaccurate.
so sad
Dude..
>being this autistic
never change Sup Forums
never change
Holy shit the autism.
^^^^^^^^^^^|
| STOP!!!!!! ‘|”"”;..,___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
“(@ )’(@ )”"”"*|(@)(@ )*****(@)
> be me
> doctor as fuck
> 16th centuryish
> reading about greek doctors
> fucking retards put holes in heads
> fuckingstoneage.carving
> village retard runs in
> he is out of breath
> and crying
> explains he has a pounding in his head
> fuckingbestidea.scroll
> "i've been examining ancient text"
> drill a fucking hole is his head
> faggot doesn't die
> wat.parchment
> retard says he feels great
> leaves
> mfw I don't know if I can trust modern day medicine
bump
>Actually knows history
>Autistic
Fuck you guys, I got some pasta and learned some shit, you guys are the autist.
kek
bump
> doing doctor shit on a man
> wench bursts in
> 6/10 doesn't have a sickness
> man can wait
> tells me her husband is sick with a humor imbalance
> fuckingwhat.scroll
> a women is trying to doctor
> she doesn't even have a mask
> idea.milkofthepoppy
> your cunt may be tainted
> better have a look
> look at cunt
> what
> "i need to test it for imbalances"
> plow the bitch like she does the fields
> tell her that it should be fine and her husband will recover
> mfw he died
> mfw she died in childbirth
> mfw I am doctor
Cool story
ohhh Doctor :)
pls more
>never seen a live baby before
Booo
>FeelingIsSatisfactory.movingartofwitchcraft
great one
haven't been here since month, and when i come back a plague doctor thread right away? what the fuck? that chink moot cured the cancer? or just coincidence?
Are you this naive?
>6th century or some shit
my sides are asunder, well done.
Nice cringe thread Sup Forums
Yeeeeess plague doctor was one of the best things I saved from here.
>same guy
You realize this is a meme right?
would someone be kind enough to screencap?
Bump
Thanks OP. I just got done researching everything about the Plague.
>Be me
>I am a plague doctor
>Asshole I know from my early years in plague doctor school walks into my clinic.
>dropped out because he didn't believe in the medicine.
>"Doctor I need help"
>what a Hypocrite
>tells me he feels pain in his gums and teeth.
>I know what I must do.colouredwateronpapyrus
>tell him he must drink the semen from another man while inserting various materials into his anus
>he believes me, what?
>says he will drink semen from his brother
>too good.oillamp
>tell citizens that he is drinking his brothers semen
>they actually catch him in the act, inserting a feathered pen in his ass.
>he is beheaded for being a homosexual
>I am considored a hero for warning people of this evil
>all went better than expected.garb
>I am a plague doctor.
Has anybody seen this posted anywhere else yet ? Apart from the Sup Forums Facebook page ?
>be doctor
>a family trying to hide from plague thingy
>Young girl has pretty face
>idea.carrier raven
>Tell them they all need to face swap
>tell them i am doctor they need to let me swap faces
>cut all the faces off
>they all stop moving
>Keep faces on wall
>pretty girls face in middle
>Sell bodies to other doctor
>Use money to buy a better mask
>I am doctor.scroll
Yeah. All over Sup Forums