Greentext your recent gaming adventures. Any game

Greentext your recent gaming adventures. Any game

>dies
>ragequits

>Be me
>Be afk

>play as humans
>invade other solar systems
>kill every alien population
or
>build team
>travel around the world shooting, exploding and vapourising all alien life that lands on earth

what made you think this would be a good thread?

>be me
>log on to wow
>collect my garrisonville crops
>log out

>be exploring
>get shot in the knee

These in this order. Was taking a piss.

samefag

not even funny

...

>Be me
>Working on a Skyrim mod
>Playing around with paralysis arrows
>Head to Whiterun
>That faggot guard tries to stop me
>I tell him I have important business
>He believes me, no questions asked
>Enter the gate
>Some assholes ask me if I've seen a redgaurd woman
>Ask me to go on a nigger hunt
>I look at them
>Look into their souls
>Decide I'm tired of strangers bothering me
>Pull out my bow
>Pull out my paralysis arrows
>Aim for his face
>He continues looking at me with remarkable calmness for someone about to get an arrow to the face
>Release
>Arrow hits him square between the eyes
>Glorious visuals
>Glorious sound effects
>He goes rigid
>So does his friend
>30,000 bounty added to Whiterun
>Shit
>Look around
>Everyone in the whole fucking city fell over
>They all wake up extremely pissed at me
>Go back into the creation kit
>Realize I accidentally deleted the decimal so the explosion radius was 150,000 instead of 150
>Mfw I accidentally paralyzed the entire town of Whiterun with one arrow

>play as violent racist jellyfish
>bigstupidjellyfish.jpg
>everyone wants me dead
>fucking pacifists can't do shit
>nuke their planets and demand tribute
>they send fleet of six hundred ships
>i send four
>purge furries from existence
>make galaxy great again

kek

...

Spore?

Nope, Stellaris, though I did the same in Spore, old habits.

>be me
>level 14
>gotta explore Foundry
>find myself stuck in the local mines surrounded with Bladelings
>low ammo, running out of nades too
>I am fucked


Who'll be able to guess the game gets a cookie

>Be me
>Can't sleep
>boots up overwatch
>playingsoloisabadidea.png
>joins a game
>entire enemy team is reaper
>turns off Xbox and goes to bed

Play as us raid Sicily get to baker point see guy carrying a wex accidentally shoot wex kill myself teammates in a room smaller than a cubical

Checked and damn funny

How is stellaris? Any good?

>stalking around in what i think is Severograd
>zombies around when i spawned so maybe someone's around
>a truck seems to work, has a truck battery but misses one front wheel
>double wheels on back. if i find a lug wrench maybe i can get it rolling
>look around, no lug wrench
>move on south, up to Devil's Castle
>nothing but old clothes and other crap
>sword
>fug yea, i'm a knight now
>look around from top
>crash site to the east
>fal mag + military clothing. feels good man
>stalked around for another while
>logged

yea, pretty... average Dayz experience

The amount of customisation is decent, but the computer players have serious roid rage and upgrade their tech at twice the speed I can. I ended up with a small, primitive and tanky empire that hits like a truck. Their fancy high tech ships did nothing against my big and clunky nuke spewers.

space hitler
purge the aliens
strengthen the human race
for the emprah

Still really really wanna get this. Now that there's a standalone can you pirate it? Might finally get to play

underrail

Don't. Just don't. I have 400 hours in that game and it's running simulator. There are almost no zombies, it's buggy as fuck etc.
If you wanna DayZ than either get Arma 2 or 3.

winrar

You've played it I suppose

see the standalone is a hulking piece of shit, i fully regret my purchase but have gotten hundreds of hours out of Arma 2 Dayz mods like overpoch

Aww, but I've tried to pirate Arma 2 and apply the dayz mod to no avail so many times.

Not a shitload but you said some familiar names

> trying to solve a murder
> find owners dog next to his grave
> dig it up
> it's a sheep! Dog not happy
> steal Esmeraldas dirty panties
> dog doesn't like the smell but says it smells like 5 of the guys in town
> the plot thickens

Got fucking wiped 5 times in Sunken Temple of Qarn because the healer and dps were incompetent and didn't understand the doom debuff and the golem boss.

>i am setsuna
>wtf fuck is this wierd shit?!

Hahaha My nigga I love dos can't wait for the new game to come out.

>be cat
>snipe deer
>snipe farmer
>snipe gaurd
>snipe jarl

All fun.

Anyone playing evolve now that its free?

Yea. still sucks

>the "get a job game"
>have degree in physics
>get rejected since your country doesn't contribute to science
>applying to supermarket next week to earn minimum wage

>play nationalist china at the start of wwii
>vaguely remember they get invaded by japan at SOME point
>oh i'm in war with communist china already?
>after dragging my whole army there i finally can cross the river
>communist shit status: slapped
>neighbor who used to have great relationship with me randomly declares war
>neighbor who used to have great relationship with me randomly declares war
>neighbor of puppet state randomly declares war
>japan declares war
>proceed to get my shit fucked on 4 fronts simultanously
>japan even has some sort of super soldiers my soldiers aren't even close to compete with
>loose battles in sectors with tactical advantage and 3 times the japanese soldiers
>nanjing massacre, industry destroyed
>soldiers literally take several month's to climb the fucking mountains on the western front only to be kicked out because they are so disorganized
Nationalist china: not even once.

>be me
>be terran
>spam ~200 apm from the beginnig on
>drop like madman
>macro like madman
>micro like madman
>enemy is zerg
>hurrdurr A-moves into my army with ultras
>he wins
tl;dr fucking hell blizzard ?!

>be me
>10yo kiddo
>find myself in wood
>run est
>escape stupid dogs
>run est
>escape militia
>run eeeest
>look! mind controlling helmets! sweet!
>run fucking est!
>meet weird boy my age with long hair at the pool
>teaches me how to breath underwater
>get into weird est science facility
>become a meatball
>escape from facility
>get nice suntan

>pick up Fo4 after being stuck on the molecular level quest since december
>realize i was a fucking moron because 1 thing was placed wrong and I couldn't progress.
>blast through the story, get stuck at the impass where the BoS wants to kill the railroad and i'm not sure if I wanna help them or father yet
>decide to kill off some of the sidequests
>level 50 and just exploring the battlezone
>meet cait, decide fuck it imma romance her
>realize that i've already done most of the things that would have got her to "love" me
>spend 3 hours fast traveling the commonwealth naked, hopped up on psycho just so she'd like me
>do her redemption quest, sell the rest of my chems since I only really use buffout
>realize this is the most involved i've been in anything in months, just for some irish junkie to fall in love with me
>all worth it when she says "what is it my love"
>tfw i don't even feel that happy when my IRL gf says that

do you even hearts of iron bro?

Fuck yeah man it cracks me up so much in some parts

wondering if someone is going to guess this one

The new limbo game?

>own a town
>decides that the town should have and arena
>builds glorious concrete colosseum to house my villagers
>consistently releasing monsterous creatures into arena so that the people don't have time to heal and escape
>cheats the game to add more creatures
>spawn hundreds of massive demonic monsters
>realize terrible mistake
>arena now completely filled with monsters
>they play leapfrog after they kill the villagers and make it to my castle
>hundreds of creatures start to destroy the realm

I sure do love fallout

>Enter the Gungeon
>Find a good laser pistol on the first level
>Defeat boss with ease
>Get Master Bullet for the first level
>2nd level
>fall down the elevator shaft by accident
>Oh fuck what is this
>See the NPC repairing things
>Speak to him
>"Yo, i need 3 Blanks to help fix this elevator"
>have 3 blanks, can survive without them. Give them to him
>"Thanks! Next i need 3 Keys AND 120 coins!"
>Fuck me thats a lot. Speak to him again to see what happens
>"Oh i see you have Master Bullet 1! Can i have that to power the elevator?"
>Give it to him
>"Thank you!"
>No further interaction. Exit the shaft.
>Over the course of the 2nd level get 3 keys. Test to see if i can give them to him seperate
>Back down the elevator. He's not there. Fug.
>Continue playing. checking the elevator all the time. He is never there.
>Have more than 150 coins and 4 keys and on the 4th level. This is the best run ive ever had in the game.
>Check elevator. Faggot NPC still isnt there.
>Get killed on 4th level boss.

What a fucking cunt. Don't give me a fucking quest to do and then fuck off when i try to hand it in you stupid bastard. Fuck you.

Inside

Are you that poor? I got full Arma 2 pack for like 5 dollars

Got some more from Skyrim

>Working on a house mod
>Make a crafting station that lets you make notes
>Each race has a note specifically insulting them
>Go to the Thalmor embassy
>Pull out my exploding arrow that summons a tyranasaurus rex (because why the fuck not)
>Bloody Thalmore are walking around in circles
>Clever scum! They want me to think they're stupid
>Crouch on a nearby hill
>Carefully aim my arrow
>Release!
>The cut scene cam kicks in for extra glory
>My arrow flies true
>As it hits the Thalmor in the face a giant T. Rex appears and let's out a roar
>These Thalmor guards are brave as fuck and try to attack it
>Not today it bitches
>Pull out my fear arrows
>Shoot a Thalmor in the face
>Suddenly he stops
>Looks up and sees a fucking dinosaur roaring at him
>The reality of his NPC mortality kicks in
>He screams like a bitch
>Turns around and runs the fuck out of there
>The dinosaur kills his friend and chased him out of the compound
>Watch the whole thing from my silent perch of chaos
>Sneak in when they're gone
>Rob the Thalmor bodies of everything, even the stuff I don't need
>Open their inventory
>Drop 200 notes on each body
>Walk out slowly for dramatic effect
>Eventually the next guard shift will arrive
>They'll walk through the gate
>Look down and see their companions naked, surrounded by dinosaur tracks, and covered in notes
>They'll pick up a note and read it
>"What does it say?" asks Guard 1
>Guard 2 pauses and his ugly Thalmor face contorts with confusion
>"'Fuck Elves'" responds Guard 2

Also he wont be getting any suntan, as he is still inside. get rekt fool

yep
it wasn't so hard, wasn't it?

i love sicking my 3 deathclaws on new settlers. there is a 13 villager maximum in sanctuary and dammit i will keep it that way

>Playing WoW
>Why
>Because fuck you that's why
>On a pvp server with mostly alliance
>Pleb human dk
>Decent gear
>Running around doing dailies
>Stumble across a group of horde with shit gear and low health
>They about to have their asses blasted by elite mobs
>Jump in and freeze everything
>Slaughter the elite
>They thank me with emotes

Feels good man.

kek

underrated post

Inside?

> be witcher
> cool hair
> banged 1 girl now
> want ciri
> find ciri after a lot of hours
> "you'll like this"
> whip my boy out
> start screaming

Are the servers still pretty populated or are you playing private? I'm thinking about coming back, haven't played since lk

>install a mod to change game start
>make a nigger thief
>real good at sneaking and theving, true nigger style
>steal everything not bolted down
>fuck dungeons fuck quests
>thievery is life
>get my pickpocket skill maxed
>good enough to steal the clothes off their back
>every woman i see, subsequently undress them
>old, young, doesn't matter
>wherethewhitewomenat.jpg
>any time i get caught, chimp out and kill everyone
>gangsta nigga lifestyle watermelon massah nigga
love you, skyrim

WoW has millions of players, is that really a question? Specially now only weeks before the new expansion is released....

When I left I knew a lot of people were leaving because it got lame and incredibly easy. I'm going to see what it's like now.

> kotor
> am Paul Smenis
> no memory
> be light side
> assemble rag tag group of wookie, robot, twilek, and cat bitch
> find out i was revan
> stillgood
> have to kill malek
> screw it
> sell everyones gear
> get loads of credits
> buy two cool lightsaber crystal that are basically useless
> walk around every planet for years
> no game after ending
> done every single mission long time ago
> mfw i realize this world sucks
> also why have i spent so long walking around these shit hole worlds

they need to make a new game already

You'll probably get a shit expression of it right now, since its patched for pre-patch / the expansion. So also of passive's and spells are bound to the new artifact weapons, and they aint out yet.

>30,000
It is 1000 per murder

>be me play Dota try online 2 guys one team quit got our assess kicked for 30 minutes stop playing dota>

for real though that storyline was boss as fuck when you find out you're Revan and the worlds were really good, especially Korriban
Not if they're going to murder the storyline like how Bioware did with TOR, which they probably will now that Disney's in charge. I'd rather they stay two of the best Star Wars stories ever.

oh yeah still one of my favorites. i dont care how desolate it feels now. and how i know every corner of every place a long time ago

>Killing off that clan in Darkroot forest
>Find some weird as ring that apparently makes me roll fancier
>Accidentally take off ring of favour and protection
>Will never quickroll with heavy armour again

Woah what game is that?

>try to play a France into HRE run
>Austria, Burgundy, Castile, Portugal, and England team up and gangbang me for a good 40 years
>the end

Ill try again tomorrow

fucking skyrim

Holy shit it looks amazing please tell what mod is that?

>Be kaiser of the German Empire
>Year 1626
>All german speaking people united
>Cucked Poland and Hungary into oblivion
>France managed to cuck England
>England revolts during the reformation
>France got cucked by england
>Only worthwhile rival is France
>France is bogged down maintaining England
>Colonize parts of Eastern north America
>Colonize parts of South America
>Dominate the caribbean
>West Africa boxed in by me and easy pickings
>Control the cape and south Africa
>Cucking of India initiated
>First in Australia
>First to circumnavigate the world in the 1500's
>Dominate Europe
>Support Byzantium financially
>Byzantium never falls
>Mfw
>Own all this land yet still Drang Nach Osten
>Successfully made Germany great again
>Feelsgoodman.jpg

Pic related.

I'm on an incredibly high pop server, on live.

>be me in Novac
>bored
>sell all my weapons to buy that gun
>use it to kill Cliff
>sneak up to Manny
> place dynamite in his pocket
> go back into dinosaur
>boom
>leave through front
>kill no-bark
>killing everyone
>only ranger Andy and Boone left
>hit ranger Andy with 9-iron
>he runs out of his house
>kill him
>Boone sees
>o shit I can't take him on
>looks at Andy's corpse
>looks back up at me
>casually walks back into his room
>the man that was supposed to be protecting the town couldn't give two shits about it's people
>mfw

you people who drop the word cuck like it's a conjunction should be beaten as hard as that dead horse

Moon guard still the Sup Forums of wow?

>hey a new game
>begins playing on hardest difficulty
>4 hours pass
>already op
>best healer in wow, haven't died in Saints row, the witcher is child's play, paragon is like fucking adventure capitalist
>friends offer me an attempt at Dark Souls
>lol I'm the best gamer ever I'll destroy this game
>couldn't pass the first boss for an hour
>what the fuck is this game
>blame it on the beer.

>oh shit, being raided
>couple of shotguns and a pistol
>yea whatever, i have a sniper and hunting rifle
>they close in fast
>hunting rifle guy's head blown off
>sniper pinned down, shotguns on either side
>blown to fucking shreds
>pistol boy to the rescue
>nevermind, ripped apart by shotguns
>last dude
>has a knife and the sniper's husky
>dog is kill
>no

i think the standalone is getting better and better. long way to go still ofc and i haven't tried the Arma 2 mods in the last 2 years.
They finally fixed many of the lag issues and sure people are complaining about not enough zombies but it's the PvP that's the real deal in Dayz and they know it.

I have fun with it but i totally understand if you don't wanna pay for a half assed product. Cause it still is. Reeeally clunky, buggy and all that shit. i just happen to see the bugs as part of the game which you can play around.

Cuck.

Standalone couldn't get worse.
Arma 2 mod is still way better. Standalone is still unplayable. Any server you go onto the most deadly weapon you will find is a fire extinguisher.

DO NOT BUY DAYZ SA YOU WILL REGRET IT I PROMISE

i already bought it
come at me

> be gregor the bard
> magic lute
> loves adventure
> finds party of paladin, fighter sailor, and ranger
> all have cool hair
> work for lord of small city
> fight pitch battle as generals, with gregor as diplomat
> convince rival lord to bend the knee in return for our lords mercy
> nat 20
> gig
> rival lord bends knee
> fighter beheads rival lord
> heads will roll
> giant army starts closing in on our walls
> go inside
> siege time
> been 2 weeks
> no food, rival army building land ramp to get over walls
> convince lord to come to a truce with opposing army
> meets with generals
> while the meeting is going on gregor is no where to be found
> go on with out
> after the deal was made to split up wood and fur trade in this side of the world, paladin gets bad sense of evil
> dragon flys by out of nowhere
> gregor is riding it
> party hates me
> as he plays notes on lute bodies from both armies are flying everywhere
> kill both armies in 6 rounds
> tpk immediately
> i love destroying friends PCs
> mfw i ruled the session and everyone characters are no more

Ayyyyy divinity original sin

>playing PONG!
>didn`t hit the ball
>suicide.exe

Rimworld?

you got it boy

forgot howto greentext
>one
>>two
>>>three

>couldn't pass the first boss for an hour
>first boss for an hour
>an hour

Fucking casual pleb, gtfo my /b

>be me
>dwarven spider
>doing some routine repairs on pipes and shit
>minding my own business
>suddenly get hit in the side by a arrow
>ohforfucksakegoddamniggertits.jpg
>launched trough the air and slammed against the wall on the other side of the room from the impact
>hooded bipedal fleshbag comes looming over me and rips apart my legs
>steals my soul gem
>falmer patrol coming around the corner
>fleshbag crouches down, disappearing into thin air
>wat

Dark souls is easy as hell, how does it take you an hour to beat the asylum demon?

> Do some quest
> quest has different ends
> In the end some people die

He said he's a healer

>warning now entering darkzone
>manhunt
>leave darkzone

Was she cute?

>log on
>afk wc magic trees for 5 hours whilst i do other shit
>cry myself to sleep