Seriously considering divorcing my stupid as shit fucking wife

Seriously considering divorcing my stupid as shit fucking wife.

>We have 5 year old daughter
>Wife's parents were abusive to her and always put her down and shit like that.
>Wife insists on letting her cunt mother babysit my little girl.
>I refuse and she goes behind my back and drops my daughter off at her mom's place after daycare if I'm not there.
>She screams at me when I get on her case about this and she accuses me of hating her family and shit like that.
>I have stopped giving a shit and told her dad he is not welcome in my house and she went ballistic over that.
>Wife is COMPLETELY FUCKING STOCKHOLM SYNDROME over her parents.
>Daughter hates grandparents
>Says they swear at her and they tell her shut up and they are mean to her.
>Called them and cussed them out one day over it. Nothing changed.
>I want to hire a teacher to teach my daughter, Allie, a second language. It is scientifically proven that you should learn a second language between 3-10 and that doing so makes you a better thinker, and makes it easier to learn a 3rd and 4th language later in life.
>Wife refuses to believe me.
>Says Allie will hate it and it's a waste of money
>Says she needs to relax and study less.
>Allie LOVES learning new things.
>I take her out for walks or little adventures almost every single day, and I have since she was old enough to walk.
>She asks me questions about everything, and I try to answer all of her questions.
>Yes, sometimes she gets a little silly, like when she asks "Why" 5000 times in a row just to be cheeky, but I play along with her.
>We have a game where she asks me questions about anything she sees and I answer, and if I don't know the answer I have to research it with her when we get home.
>Daughter is one of the most advanced kids her teachers have ever seen.
>Wife thinks I make too big of a deal about her learning stuff and says all the time that she's smart and she can take it easy.

>I tell wife that's fucking retarded, Allie needs to work hard every day or else all her intelligence will be worthless.
>Wife never really spends time with Allie.
>Says she's weird for liking to read instead of watching TV, and for liking to play alone and solve puzzles and create things instead of playing with other kids.
>Her social skills are just fine, she's just introverted.
>It's really good that she likes books and I make the effort to encourage her by reading with her, to her, and letting her read to me. Her reading level and comprehension is like 3 grades above her own.
>Wife will tell her to stop reading.
>Allie is introverted and has a hard time opening up to people.
>Will give you stone-faced looks and one word answers when she meets you.
>Again, her social skills are fine, if she sees kids doing things that interest her then she'll interact with them normally and form friendships and she has plenty of friends.
>Because of her introverted nature, it's really rare and special for her to open up and actively want to get your attention, most of the time if you try and engage her she'll have none of it (that's my biggest struggle with Allie, trying to get her to be less stubborn and to participate more in class and to be less shy).
>Wife will straight up ignore Allie or tell her to stop being annoying when she's talking about her interests and stuff, which she rarely does.
>Its gotten to the point where Allie doesn't play with wife, and sometimes will just get moody and frustrated if wife starts trying to engage with her.
>Allie won't even cry around wife. Allie's more... negative emotional expressions are kept under lock down usually. She only really lets out her anger or cries when shes with someone she trusts.
>When she's really angry or upset now she won't talk to my wife, she'll just keep asking for me.

>Sometimes I'll walk through the door and she'll immediately burst into tears because she's been bottling up her frustration all day.
>We have a "free expression" time where my daughter is allowed to say anything she wants with impunity. The idea is to encourage her to open up about her feelings which she usually keeps bottled up.
>Wife says its silly and stupid and won't participate.
>Wife will fight and yell and bitch at me in front of Allie while I try to avoid fighting with her in front of Allie. Especially if it's about Allie.
>Allie's developing anxiety because of this shit.
>All wife wants to do is sit around and watch TV.

You know what the most bullshit part of this is? If we divorced, she'd probably get custody. Its so fucked. I mean come the fuck on, I love my wife but holy shit she's a terrible mother.

I don't know what to do Sup Forumsros. I'm thinking divorce is my only option right now.

Have you told her that you've been thinking of a divorce if she doesn't help you foster your daughter's interests?

Secret cameras around house. Get footage to prove her shiftiness so you win custody.

Absolutely this. The sooner you can get her out of that situation the better.

The word "Divorce" was thrown around a bunch today when we were fighting but I'm hesitant to give her a straight up ultimatum. I mean, it's not an easy choice.

Inadmissible in court in my state.

The breaking point for me was today, we got into a massive screaming match over her mother slapping Allie for "misbehaving" (which, to be fair, she was acting out, but she's usually a perfect kid so it's more because of the environment anyways). I screamed at wife and told her her cunt mother was never allowed to be around Allie again and I told her if her parents ever hit Allie again I'd hit them back, and I tried to de-escalate when Allie came home from my brother's house (she was visiting his daughter, one of her closest friends), but Wife would not calm down so I blew up and we both screamed at each other and Allie was scared and hiding in her closet.

I went upstairs and found her and she was just shaking and crying into my arms and as I was rubbing her back I was just like "shit, this is not healthy for her."

Wifey refused to talk to Allie about it and dismissed her reaction to our fight but I let it go for Allie's sake.

FUCK going easy with this shit user. The legal system is totally biased and you know it- here's an idea: be super nice to the bitch, go along (for now) with most of what she says- and generally spend some more time/money on her and be a corrupting influence, turn her into an alcoholic and slip her drugs- then, when she's all drugged up and drunk get into a verbal pissing fight with her and push her over the limit so she physically attacks you. Call the police. Now, she is an abusive alcoholic who has assaulted you and you will have proof. The judge will rule in your favor, and you get move to another state with a better tax code. That's just the skeleton of the plan though.

Daughter probably has mild autism

your wife is probably exaggerating about getting abused by parents

YFW you realise that is you try to leave your wife, she will most likely get full custody and fuck your child up for good.

Get your kid out of this familie and start new life with her idiot a father should allways look for his kids first

You gotta make sure that it'll be legal to film your wife without her knowing first. Some states have pretty shirty laws when it comes to privately filming someone for evidence purposes. Ask a lawyer about whether or not you can do this.

Also, unless your wife is abusive, you'd be looking at dual custody. Your best outcome would be getting her during the school year while your wife gets her during the summer.

Is it possible to have your daughter decide who she wants to stay with?

Divorce wife
Take child
Take as many assets as you can

I don't know how much money do you have, but consider hiring a really good lawyer, one that "assures" you he'll win the case

Experienced dad here I have four kids. Got a little bit rough with one of my kids once. He used to beat the shit out of this with a belt. I informed him that if it ever happens again I would strangle him. Problem solved. He is old and am 6'2" and 225 muscle he knows not to fuck up again.

Damn... What about seeking legal counsel?

OP I thought I should let you know that your daughter is most likely an INTP personality type and nurturing is absolutely vital to their mental health so they don't develop problems and shit
No idea what to do about your problem but I'm on your side

Tell Allie to ignore what wife says, and not to let her get to her. DO NOT LET WIFE OBTAIN CUSTODY! Take extreme measures if necessary.

A few simple questions op,
1. Is she hot?
2. Does she fuck you often?
3. Anal?
4. Hows her income?
Also pics pls? Dont worry im not gonna fap to them.

I may sound cynical but, how you seem really different, how did you two get married? Why do you love her?

OP you are absolutely right. If you divorce your wife she will get full custody and there is nothing you can do about it.

THIS

OP DO THIS FIRST

The sad thing is Wife does love and care for Allie and she does want what's best for her, she's just in denial about reality and kind of stupid.

Come on man, I still love the woman. I don't think I could go that far.

That's the problem dude, I'm afraid that if I divorce my wife she'll get full custody.

Lol autism manifests a little differently in girls. If it was a boy I'd probably agree with you. Its just introversion though.

Yeah, I said before but in my state both parties have to be aware if I am to film her on private property, and she'd never agree to it. Besides, she's not abusive, my wife's just neglectful.

You're right, I'd probably win split custody at best.

kek house is in my name and so are both cars so assets aren't really a problem.

I'll probably talk to a lawyer but I need to keep Allie away from my MIL. My brother can't take her all the time, and my parents are both dead. I could probably take a day off work but they're already pretty miffed that I've been leaving early every day this week to get her from daycare and prevent her from going to my MIL's.

I try to be as open and nurturing as I can with her. I struggle sometimes but I count myself lucky - she's got a strong sense of awareness and is always well behaved with me. She can tell when I'm stressed. Sometimes, if I have a bad day and she senses it, she'll cuddle up to me and read to me. Makes me wonder who's parenting who.

Damn man you triggered me
My parents were like that and it fucked with my brain
I guess it depends on the child

Damn your wife sounds like the cunt we all love to hate. Im worried when I have kids, that my mom will do the same thing your wife's parents are doing, I would beat the shit out of her.

Take your wife's son away from her and raise your wife's son alone.

Every married man does this at least once a day.

Sadly you married a retard and got a child before realizing.

Your daughter is awesome
Don't listen to these people talking about divorce, you just have to change your wife's opinions
If you divorce it'll probably mess up your daughter

>Shut down the phone
>Pick Allie
>Go to Mexico to start a new life
>FBI won't follow you because of donald's wall
Profit

Women really are too stupid to manage and leveling them with us was one of our forefather's great mistakes. I am with you OP, even if I can't be really constructive

stop watching MLP, the real world doesn't work like that

>I still love the woman
Nigga what in the fuck???

checked

talk to a divorce lawyer on the side, survey your options

there is a reason why thary are married, they have lived together befor having a child

To be fair she's really hot. She's a PAWG if I ever saw one. When we aren't fighting we have sex generally once or twice a day. And yes, anal happens sometimes. Wife's income is a little less than mine, but it's pretty decent. We don't struggle at all financially.

She's really creative and has a good attention to detail, she's sweet and she shares my interests, and before we had Allie and for the first few years Allie was alive she really was a perfect wife. Plus the pussy game is ridiculous.

hahahahahahahahahhaha

Yeah, thing is there were no signs before Allie turned 3 man. I don't know, once she became more independent and developed her personality, she kind of grew away from what Wifey expected I guess.

Wife is too stubborn to change for most things. I think the problem was Wife expected our daughter to have a different personality, and she doesn't really know how to connect with her now. Wife expected dolls, art and make up, she got books and animals and science.

Whatever man I've never even seen that
Not everyone is a cynical as you, and divorces can mess up a kids life if they really love their parents
source: beta fag whose parents divorced

For me it does not sound like a healthy relationship. How do you picture this in the future, what will happen to your daughter, she might get serious problems. Why do you love your wife, she might be attractive, but it sounds like you are a very different person than her, she seems unintelligent. If it was me i would care more about loving my kid than a stupid wife, because you got the chance to change your daughter into something great, which is not possible with your wife i'm afraid.

I know that, I'm fucking confused as to why he said "STILL"

I'd be surprised if that kid still loved her mother

Talk to the best lawyer in divorces you can find, and workout your options. You may find that you don't need to divorce at all, or there are some things you could do to save your daughter.

also you could send her in europe to "learn a new language by immertion" and let her have a little rest

you could also try to get your wife on a trip or something

That's just kind of how it works. I can't just decide to not love her. She still has many of the qualities that made me fall in love with her.

Allie does love her mom, they just don't connect with each other.

I give ultimatums when I'm pissed
I don't get pissed often, twice in our relationship
8 years with my wife
As a man you need to put your foot down some times, women take things for granted way too often

Continue being the better parent. Your daughter has already knows who truly cares for her. Once your daughter is older she will have no respect for your wife, outsmarting her and belittling her. When your wife gets on you to change it, back your daughter.

I guess
Reading his posts more carefully I can see what you mean
I just don't know what a good solution other than divorce would be

Twice a day? Damn, that's pretty neat

But.....but connection is literally a requirement for love...

Protip: Your wife resents you because she feels jealous and unwanted by your daughter. Maybe mummy issues when your wife was growing up or whatever. Enjoy endless amount of fighting, bullshit and heartache, oh and enjoy your daughter getting caught in the middle of it and growing up fucked. Change it now

you don't just work out things, even if you don't get a divorce there are still thing to be done, however it need much more attention and effort than "just convicing her"

I'm cynical because you seem to see things way too simply than they realy are

If this is true and her parents are still abusive then divorce her and ps I doubt Stockholm syndrome is why ur wife is loyal to her parents

Sounds like you are a great father and your daughter is really smart:D dont worry for your wife, you will raise your daughter good

This, its her parents fault.

dude that suxs soz man

Post pics of your wife. It isn't revenge porn if you're not broken up yet!

Maybe she's not cut out to be a mom. I've seen it happen, people are good wives but shitty mothers

You think if we got therapy and discussed this we could reasonably fix things without having to divorce?

obviously the only solution is to poison the wife. Fentanyl works well.

Joking aside you really need to separate your daughter from the in laws. If you have the money hire baby sitters and tutors, find if she has any friends whos parents are open to her spending time over there after school until you can get her, offer payment.

If your daughter really is as smart as you say she is then she is predisposed to over think and really take verbal abuse like that to heart. This isn't all bad though, she'll also be more receptive to proper nurturing and you could easily solidify her confidence and self worth for the rest of her life with a few right placed words and proper handling of discipline

Get creative, this is your kid and the rest of her life. For the record this is why I will never have children. I would kill a bitch for putting my kid through something like that

Maybe so, but prepare for the worst (wife leaving you, obtaining custody of your daughter; your daughter getting fucked up, wasting her potential)

From what I understood, I don't think she would come with you and talk about that

I think you are a great progressive parent while she was brainwashed into old parenting styles by her own parent's abuse
I was abused as a child and I wish I had a parent like you man
That being said, if your wife is more conservative in parenting I'm pretty sure she won't react well to therapy

Tell me OP, why did you marry a fucking retard ?

lol no

if she doesn't, that's proof that she doesn't care about being a better parent, something potentially useful in court

Finish what your step parents havent done,
Beat some sense into your wife lmao

But other than that i have no other tips than taking it to court with reasonable video footage

he said she had great snatch so i guess thats why. Happens to the best of us

Then put that bitch in her place. Make her understand that your little princess is the smartest princess on this fucking globe, and that she will be treated like she acts. A second language is imo a good idea just dont force it down her throat or she will hate studying. If you divorce her, realize that your child will never reach her full potential and make sure u win custody. Also start respecting her parents, sure they might be assholes but blood is thicker than water.

*Wife's parent, im retarded

Well, to get away from divorce since you don't really seem to want it:
1. Tell her explicitly that you're actually considering leaving her & taking your daughet with you given what's happening with your MIL. You really need to shock her to make her realize it's not okay what they are doing. People often are stupid when it comes to behaviour they're used to, even when it's terrible.
2. Tell her she needs to accept your daughter the way she is. Firstly because it's true, secondly because that's a sentence that most women dig. She didn't become the girly dolls & makeup girl, but she's still a great person and your wife needs to engage with that instead of putting her down for that.
3.Get her away from the TV, that's bad for children as well as for adults. At least in big quantities.

But if she doesn't do anything about her parents and doesn't engage with her daughter in her own way, divorce really seems like you only option.

>blood is thicker than water
fuck that, that's retarded
loyalty to someone that's a piece of shit, merely because of blood relation is absolutely pointless, and seems like it would be actively detrimental to the kids development, especially if they're physically disciplining her

Op, as a child that grew with a abusive mother and had parents divorced, even tough the mother is not abusive i do recommend you divorce and take good care of the girl theres nothing worse than a abusive parent, even if shes not the one hitting she still refuses to do something about it, do not let this kid be fucked because you cant divorce. even tough most people say things like "divorcing will make your kid have problems" i managed to get trough it just fine (alot better than if my dad didnt divorce) just be loving to her.

Funny Allie stories while I decide between suggesting therapy and a temporary separation?

>Sitting in my home office, finishing up some paperwork.
>Allie walks in.
>"Daddy girls have boobs!"
"Great observation honey."
>"I'm a girl!"
"I never would have guessed."
>"How come I don't have boobs?"
"You're not old enough."
>"Why?"
"Why aren't you old enough or why do you have to be older to get them?"
>"Why umm that one"

>"Oh."
>Two days later, on a walk, going through the park.
>Daughter immediately points to a woman uncomfortably close to us.
>"Daddy!"
"What is it baby?"
>"WHY DOESN'T THAT GIRL HAVE BOOBIES?"
>MFW
"Shh. She does have boobs, they're just small. Everyone's bodies are different."

Wait, you married her, and she's the stupid one?

rekt

one well place shank to the neck , if cops come claim it's cultural misunderstanding

But beware, this is a risky movement; she could start the divorce on her own or something that gave her the upper hand, consult with a lawyer first. This may result in you getting fucked up in court. You can never be too cautious about these matters.

he only married for the pussy

>she's not abusive, my wife's just neglectful
neglect is a form of abuse, my man

Holy fuck I finished each of those greentexts thinking it was the last one, but it just gets worse and worse.

You sound like a great father, user. I can't comment on divorce because right now I've only got my second girlfriend ever, but this is really sad to hear.

>blood is thicker than water
the full quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Which means the relationships you chose yourself is better than those you are born it

Therapy is a great idea in principle, but it's doomed to fail if your wife isn't willing to constructively engage in it. So, do you think it's likely that she will?

Lol, how was the reaction of the woman?

Another suggestion i have is to man up
Not to endure what your wife says but to take control of the household more powerfully and show the power to your wife, to make her realize that what SHE'S doing is wrong and why YOU are right

This girl is going places, seriously she seems really smart, congrats.

You gave some solid advice and I'll take it into consideration.

I think she'll get offended that I suggested it, but it might be worth a try. I might be diplomatic and word it like I need the therapy, not her.

Thank you, I think I'll do that if the therapy suggestion doesn't pan out.

I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm just scared that a divorce will leave her with full custody.

Thank you.

By some fucking miracle she either didn't hear or pretended not to.

That's the thing, I honestly can't predict if she'll be receptive or not.

i dont like your wife

>marriage

top zozzle

IF you get a lawyer, make sure you talk to every divorce lawyer within like 100 miles.

that way she really has to search to find a lawyer who doesn't have a conflict of interest from talking to you about the case...


DO THIS DO THIS DO THIS.

You need to absolutely divorce her now. The child is always the number on priority in any situation, and if your wife doesn't commit her entire being to ensuring that your child will grow up to be the best person she can possibly be, it's time to divorce.

Don't just trust us anons, go to a fucking child psychiatrist (psychologist?). They'll tell you the same damned thing.

Besides, Quaddubs have spoken.

Not that mutch in fact. There are one way love (at least shown). Even between parent-child...

Talking to all the divorce lawyers possible before trying to divorce her would be a good idea, be sure to mention every aspect so not only is there a conflict of interest, if they are impressionable lawyers, they'll hate her, too. Any marriage with children where the child is not the number one priority is a no-no. Your wife is a lazy bitch who probably couldn't care for a goldfish, let alone a child.

>Says she needs to relax and study less.
Divorce and make sure you get the kid or she'll be carrying a nigger 10 years from now if left alone with wife.

She's smart because she actively tries to learn as much as she can. Sometimes she's silly about it - like, for example, she knows more about poop than most adults would because she thought the subject was terribly amusing. But she really loves to learn and discover things about the world around her. She's definitely going to go far.

Child psychologist might be a good idea actually, I never considered that.

solid advice op

Wish I had a parent like you but your wife needs therapy man her parents really have fucked with her head.

Hey OP. I recognise myself in your text describing your daughter. I hot a intp personality and my parentes got divorced at my age of 2. Then both of them got into destructive relationships. Both my moms and dad usel to "fight" about me with Therese respective other. Mom got out of the abusive relationships when i was 12. I still take The blame for hem getting abused and I can barely socialize woth my dad sinne he is still in the same shit relationship. This also lead to me being chronicly depressed and anxious.
Tldr: it will fuck your daughter up. Fix your relationship or divorce har and make sure you will get custody of your daughter.
Sorry for format & grammar. On phone and english isnt my mothers tounge

Seconded. I really dislike your wife.

You should tell your wife that there is a difference between being naturally smart/intelligent, and then having a supportive family that helps you discover new and exciting knowledge outside of just being "smart".

I took advanced classes, too, but I always wished I learned a second language when I was young. I know German now, but it is objectively easier when you are young. I wasn't really very artistic, but I was introduced to sports young.

I guess find a way to communicate that your daughter is smart, but she also wants new experiences. Nothing wrong with trying something and then finding out it wasn't perfect, right? I'm sure if she hears you out, she will understand you are just trying to do what you think is best.

holy shit i'm never getting married or having kids

>o shit waddup

Can be your daughter an indigo child?xD

Oh, and I also think that unless your divorce is as amicable as possible it will not be good for your daughter. Either way, divorces are rarely handled well by one of the parties involved, so consider that impact.

I'm sure you already knew that