>be me
>be 21
>test lasers for a living, doing well
>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years
>hell froze over idk
>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape
>finish work on friday
>go to dinner at my families sandwich shop in the town we live in
>20 y/o qt 3.14 julia named Julia works the front counter
>after 3 years of being too pussy to make a move and not wanting to make things awkward
>get into conversation with julia and customer about weekend plans
>customer is going to theme park
>gay.png
>Julia turns to me and asks me what im doing for the weekend
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>bush did harambe
>finally after 15 seconds tell her that im gonna be hanging out at home
>julia says "come to my beach house tomorrow, ill be there with some of my family"
>had to play it cool
>prego sauce dripping from pockets already
>being alpha af say that ill come but only if its a good time
>julia smiles and promises it will
>hype.png
>still not sure if pity invite or serious one
>next morning
>wakeup to a text from julia saying "Hey user, you coming tonight? I've got a free room for you"
>fuckyes
>text back saying that I'm definitely coming and that ill bring some liquor
>day flashes by
>finally 6pm
>ask julia for address
>get address: 201 dat boi avenue
>2 hour drive
>well worth it for qt julia
>get there after picking up drinks
>knock on door
>heartpounding
>julia answers wearing sundress
>like the fag i am my jaw drops
>dress hugs her tiny 5'1" frame beautifully
>roll up my tongue and say hello
>julia invites me inside
Be me
Other urls found in this thread:
>house seems quiet and empty
>I ask where everyone is
>"they come down tomorrow" she says sweetly
>gonnamurderthepussy.jpg
>somewhere in the distance steel beams r melting
>julia tells me to follow her to put my stuff away
>beautiful ass jiggles in sundress as i walk behind her
>dick stands at attention
>itsnotaboulderitsarock.png
>follow her into her room
>put stuff down
>have realization that i might be staying in her room
>dick swelling intesifies
>"okay user, my cousins having a party not too far from here. lets go"
>walk side by side a couple blocks over
>bullshitting about her coworkers
>muster up the courage to say that she looks great tonight
>"thanks user, I wore something nice for you"
>feelsgoodman.png
>get to the house
>Julias cousin is in her mid twenties
>kind of a qt
>most of the people at the party are older
>start drinking
>julia starts getting handsy as the drinks start going down
>play beerpong
>partner with julia
>timetoshine.gif
>sink all of the shots to win us the first game
>she looks happy as fuck
>start second game
>shit goes south
>havent hit a single cup, they hit 5 out of 10
>julia is useless, arms are like ramen noodles
>get on fire, hit 6 cups back to back
>on top of mt everest
>being the alpha i am
>bounce ball to get 2 more cups out
>its now our 2 cups to their 2 cups
>they hit one
>starting to get worried
>they miss second
>Julia shoots first
>misses
>I hit one more cup
>their turn
>ball gets thrown
>gets into our cup
>oshit.png
>julia blows it out
>get fucking hype
>hug her
>realize what i did
>realize shes hugging me tighter than i was hugging her
>feelsgoodman
>next opponent shoots and misses
>lets do this
>i shoot first
>airball that bitch
>fuck
>qt grill julia might be looking beautiful af
>but bitch cant hit a shot for her life
>somehow channels her inner peyton manning
>gets last cup
>turn to her expecting a hug
>get jumped on and start making out
>immediate hard on
>drunk makeout for what a couple minutes
>finally stop and just smile at each other for what seems like an eternity
>she has beautiful blue eyes
>continue drinking and partying
>but now were inseparable
>shot after shot
>couple hours later
>people start leaving
>julias friend wants to go home
>we offer to walk her
>walk other grill home
>make alpha comment on how beautiful the moon looks and how nice the ocean sounds
>julia takes initiative and says we should go to the beach and walk on it
>start walking on beach
>far from entrance
>we see police quads with lights on in the distance
>ohshit.png
>julia yells at me to strip
>drunk me complies
>throw shit in her bag and halfway bury it
>julia runs into water
>follow
>nekkid in ocean with cute ass grill
>success.jpg
>cops come by where we were
>flash floodlight around but cant find us
>whisper to her that the water is really warm
>pigs finally leave
>start laughing with julia
>her smile kills me
>run out of ocean
>demtitties
>get dressed and speed to the shore
>still dripping from the ocean
>clothes are soaked
>walk back to her house
>get inside and she throws me a towel
>"user im gonna take a shower"
>say okay and tell her that im gonna be in the living room
>"no silly, come with me"
>geodude dick super effective
>strip next to her
>admire her perfect body
>get into hot shower
>steamy af
>immediate makeout
>run my hands down her body
>so smooth
>she jerks me off as her tongue is down my throat
>gets on her knees
>best blowjob of 2k16
>feeling like king of the world
>she stops right before i blow my load
>soclose
>we finish washing up
>she grabs my hand and leads me to her room
>jumps on her bed completely wet
>both kinds of wet
>rapeslothsmile
>"user i want you to fuck me"
>she said it in the most innocent way
>i go crazy
>climb on top and slide the tip in
>so good
>dick her down for 15 minutes while she moans and scratches my back
>probably bleeding but fuck it
>tell her im about to cum
>krispy kreme donut glaze incoming
>i pull out
>she jumps off bed and shoves my chode into her throat
>blast off
>10x the blast of hiroshima
>she swallows
>mindfuckingblown
>she wipes her mouth and puts on a pair of panties
>"user are you hungry?"
>say yes
>expecting a sandwich like the dominant male i am
>does one better
>fries eggs at 4 am
>best fucking eggs ever
>go back to her bed
>she curls up next to me
>feels surreal
>cant be real
>definitely not butter
>no way gucci is out of jail
>wake up fast af the next morning
>feeling a tugging
>look down
>make wonderful eye contact as she rests her head on my thigh while my second head rests on her tongue
>no fucking way
>feeling fucking blessed
>get more head
>she climbs on top
>rides me like im a damn rodeo bull
>she cums so hard shes shaking
>after falling on me she gets back up and slides back down to finish the job
>get more head
>10/10
>finish in her mouth again
>my little twinkie
>get dressed
>she goes to the bathroom
>"user wanna grab breakfast? I'll invite my cousin" I hear echo from the other room
>reply yes and that ill drive
>get into car a few minutes later
>drive to perkins
>5/7 breakfast
>julia asks her cousin after if she wants to come to the beach
>cousin says no
>assume were going
>get back to the house
>just me and the booty goddess
>she tells me to change for the beach
>as im changing she walks out in a thong
>almost fall over
>so beautiful
>spend the next 5 hours talking and swimming
>rest on sheet in the sand
>side by side facing each other
>gather all the courage in the world
>confess to her that i've had a crush on her for 3 years and have always been too pussy
>tell her that i've wanted to tell her but wasnt sure if she felt the same way and didnt want to make things awkward at work
>julia says nothing
>say that she doesnt have to tell anyone what happened and that it can just be our little..
>she puts her finger on my lips
>says "user, I've wanted to do this for a long time. I just didnt want to get inbetween you and your ex"
>feelsgoodman
>"itll be our little secret user, you dont have to tell anyone"
>happy as can be
>after the beach we go get some ice cream
>bring ice cream back to the house
>she gets two servings of cream.
>one iced, one hot
>youknowwhatimean
>wentfromatwinkietoatoasterstrudel
>its now that time
>tell her that i have to go back home because of work
>she frowns and tells me not to go
>I tell her i have to
>I turn around to grab my stuff
>while packing i ask if she needs anything before i leave
>gentleman.png
>she grabs my arm
>her hand is ice cold
>"i need about tree fitty"
>whip my head around
>It was around this time I realized that this grill was about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the paleozoic era.
>end
10/10 ya got me gud user.
okay you got me bud that b8 is bout an 8/8
10/10 good job user
legendary win
You bloody bastard
Asshole, I love you OP
you're a legend
Op, i never thouht i would say this, but you are hetero.
>8 stories tall and a crustacean from the paleozoic era
witnessed
GUD ONE M8
Sitting here with a hard on youfucker
Read tree fitty
>dis little bitch bamboozled me again
dubs
Muh nigga
posting in legendary thread
Witnessed
WITNESSED YOU FUCKING SAVAGE
I'm clapping in real life man. Congratulations
This thread needs archived
well above average my dude
ORANGENAL JOKES DONUT STEEL
kys fag 1.5/10
witnessed
Include me in the screencap
ITT:Newfags
This is mine, Sup Forums.
>parents died when I was little
>around 12 yrs old, living with abusive uncle and aunt
>one day uncle goes to the market and comes back with a smelly, dirty old horse
>apparently, seller told him it was bred from some old prize winning stallion or something
>me and my aunt dont think much of it, but what ever
>they name it "Dirty", as its an old dirty horse
>having lived on my uncles farm almost all my life, I love horses, and have been riding them for as long as I can remember
>uncle turns to me
>"if we ever catch you riding our new stallion, we will beat the shit out of you"
>wouldntbethefirsttime.jpg
>lol what ever, its not like I wanted to ride it anyway
>few days later, I play in the field by myself
>messing around with some old tractor tire I found
>dirty is just eating grass, like a horse usually does
>my aunt and uncle keeps coming outdoor to check that Im not riding him
>get bored and climb inside the tractor tire
>it starts rolling (field wasnt flat)
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>i cant stop or get out
>uncle and aunt comes out to check up on me
>they see me rollin'
>they hatin'
>patrolling
>trying to catch me riding Dirty
No it isn't faggot
...
YOU BASTARD!
I BELIEVED IN YOU YOU SONUVABITCH!
Checked. And now im in the screencap lmao
All this samefag
>all this samefag
>30 posters
Why must you have autism
>>test lasers for a living, doing well
I have a decent automated power meter I made myself. 10-14 thousand usd if you want to buy it. It's easy to use. Tests diodes in bulk. Any power any wave.
Let me know.
8 stories tall and a crustacean from the paleozoic era I DONT FCKING GET ITTTTTTTTTTTTT ARGHSSSSSALJDHAHHHHHHHHHHHH,
i will suck a dick someone who will explain it
God damn it OP i got really into it.
Not even mad
Posting as a witness
30 proxies
...
...
You son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch. I believed you.
37
Fucking love it
>crustacean from the paleozoic era.
dgaf i still enjoyed it
alright, who's screencapping?
Man fuck you
...
today OP was not a faggot
...
xDDDDDDD
I fucking knew it nobody has stories this good unless it ends with pasta
Witnessed the least faggy OP ever
...
Lel
>no way gucci is out of jail
kek
Damn, you got me
fapped, and raughed. 10/10 op
OP, because of the laughts i had, and your time typing all of this shit and making so many smart nomes, i really wish that you get to live a story like this, without the crustacean, and be a happy person.
You still a fag tho
my man
See you anons on /r/Sup Forums
This thread gave me the poopies LOL
I was waiting for this but still great. Op you devilish nigger you..
/thread
NAILED IT
...
I dun goofd
My dick was so fucking hard you beautiful bastard you. GG OP
Its from south park the episode chef is getting married to a succubus. Chefs dad repeatedly talks about how loch ness monster terrorizes him for 'tree fitty'
Someone give this man a cookie, he deserves it
ooooooooooooooooooh shit
we need some toontown up in here
Oy Vey.
I'M ALSO HERE INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREEN CAP, I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU THIS REALLY CUTE PICTURE
I witnessed this beautiful thread
put me in the screencap
niggas it isn't that big a deal, and especially since no one cares about putting you in the screencap, they would just want the story
Sides gone into space
Just take bikini bottom and move it somewhere else
Kek OP, well done
Fak!!!!!!!
god dammit op.. well done.. boners were had
...
>this.
Hate to be a party-pooper, but honestly who reads greentext not expecting this sort of ending?
Lame.
Mfw anything over 1 post long i scroll to the end. But, went back out of interest and read some. Gud b8 m8. R8 8/8 str8
Holy shit... Haven't laughed at a thread like that in a while. Boners (check)...laughs (check) well done sir
this sounds like if a cartoon Jerry Seinfeld browsed Sup Forums
pretty good I'd laugh track again
Shut up Austin
You asshole.
GG user, GG
WITNESSED
THAT
SHIT
Today, OP was not a fag.
I congratulate you user.
I keked so hard good on you OP
>>no way gucci is out of jail
Kek
10/10 story user
am i the only one who didn't laugh ):
i feel like i missed the joke or something.
>no, i get it, its a south park reference, i just feel nothinginside.
best zozzle of the night, thanks pal
>mfw