Hello Sup Forums. I have noticed many of you like to commit crimes. Most of you get caught though. I am a son of a cop...

Hello Sup Forums. I have noticed many of you like to commit crimes. Most of you get caught though. I am a son of a cop. I know the mistakes people make when committing a crime. Today i will teach you how to commit a muder

Faggot

bored so bumping for potential

there's no point in murdering someone since they're going to die eventually anyway

now or later it makes no difference

...

Step 1. Preparation. You must learn your subject's schedule. Follow them from a distance. Observe their paths over a month or so. Analyze the times they are not home. Analyze their house, to see possible entries and escape routes. Find your murder weapon. Most use knives. Some use guns. Pick your choice, as it will not matter. Pick your clothes. Buy something dark, that you will stay hidden if you choose at night.

Step 2. Commit the murder. *note: Wear fingered gloves and a mask. Bring a duffel bag with a change of clothes.When the subject is not home, enter the house. Try to find a way in that will not result in your cover being blown. Watch our for dogs. When you are inside, wait until the lights are off and the subject is asleep. Make the strike. Make sure that you drag the body to a bathtub or shower. Place it in there. Change your clothes. Make usre you clean the bottoms of your shoes in case they have blood. Make sure you have no blood on your gloves or hands if and when you touch surfaces. If you like, take something of value. Exit the house using front door if possible. Take the keys with you.

Bump

that's all?

Step 3. Escape the murder. Drive away as far as you can. Dispose of the clothes in a fire, after bleaching them. This will prevent any analyzation of the clothes or any blood on them. Clean the murder weapon. If it is a knife, clean it. Polish it. Then dirty it a little. If it is a gun, good luck. That will definitely get you caught

Step 4: Avoiding the police. If police suspect you are the murder, calmly tell them you were not involved. Tell them you were asleep, if it was a night muder. If a day murder, tell themyiu were home doing [insert hobby here]. If they ask for a DNA or lie detector test, kindly deny. It is your right.

This tells me nothing about how to better murder street hookers. Very disappointing.

Okay faggot listen here now... You either acquire or stumble upon a rattle snake, coral snake, I don't give a fuck... You drive your wife up to the mountains for a hiking date and get her bitten... I had thought of the alibi- "no service so I called as soon as I could!!" And I even left a little hickie around the bite mark. Worked like a charm. Collected insurance and haven't heard a gottdam thing about that day since

Say you snuck into there house and knocked them out with chloroform, dragged them into the bath tub, slit there wrists and let them bleed out. Would that work?

Notes: when buying anything, make sure you use cash. Anything else, and you will get caught. When putting clothes in your duffel bag, buy two pairs. The murder will be harder if the subject does not live alone, in an apartment, or in a rich area. If you have an accomplice, make sure you discuss anything with them in person. DO NOT USE PHONES OR THE INTERNET. Do not use guns as your murder weapon. Bullets have identification markings that link to the gun. Blunt weapons make the murder harder, as they may not kill on first strike. And whatever you do, erase all evidence of you being there. This includes fingerprints, handprints, footprints, shoeprints, your own blood, piece of the fabric of your clothes, etc

Sure, as long as you get rid of your evidence of being there.

Yeah, if you got rid of all the evidence, would the police just pass it off as a suicide?
not that I have killed anyone NSA

Anotehr note: police may start to track you. If you see familiar faces following you down the street, head home immediately. Maybe you want to call the cops, and say that some suspicious people are following you, as they will see that you have noticed them, and they will stop. And if this ever happens, if you buy food or drinks, do NOT throw them away in public places. They WILL dig through that trash like a nigger

Chloroform isn't as quick as movies make it out to be.

i think there would be some traces if they make a toxicologic exam, thing that they are going to do since it looks like a suicide

Yeah, but what if you were very strong/murdering some fat guy. Not that I am either of those things. Or want to kill anyone. Just incase, you know, sometime shit happens

Possibly. But, if you do slip the murder weapon into their hands, it will seem VERY suspicious. 1. Muscles lock when you die, and if their grip isnt firmly closed ariund that murder weapon, that will convince them it is homicide. 2. Do not stab them in the head if you want it to seem liek suicide.

Aww, I know that you can't asphicate someone, because it's really obvious, and you would have to be very very strong to hold someone down and drag them to the bathroom without there being a struggle

Then you could probably pin them until they pass out, fill up a bathtub, and then let em sink. Face up though

By the way, if you are trying to make it seem like a suicide, remember, they cal tell how long ghe body has been dead

Next class faggots. Possession of cp, or something illegal on your phine or computer

Step 1. Make sure the phone isnt linked to your credit card. Use a fake email. You peobably want to use wifi, as phone plans will want you too pay wil credit card

bumping for interest

Step 2a. Getting rid of the illegal shit. We're starting with computers. Ditch your modem and router. If you used your primary hard drive, this will make this sort of complicated. Lets start with if you had an external one. Buy industrial magnets with CASH. Run that shit over the hard druve multiple times. Get a hammer or some shit. Destroy it. Melt it id you can. Bury it, get rid of it, recycle it. Its a big chunk of metal now, no one will know.

If you used your internal, you gotta take apart your computer, extract the hard drive. Do the shit taht you would have done with an external. Now buy a new gphard drive, hopefully you bought the same type with CASH. Install that shit with windows. New computer.

Step 2b. Phone. Youre going to do the exact same thing you did with the hard drive. Now your going to make a youtube video, and destroy that shit with the thing of your choice. You get that youtube money. Buy shit ton of phones. Repeat process

Step 3a. If you had a computer, and cops come to your house, theyre going to ask to inspect your shit. Say no if optional. Otherwise, show them your computer. No evidence. They leave you alone.

3b. Police want to inspect your phone. You ask why. You say you were making youtube videos and makin that youtube cash. They leave you alone. Done. You get millions of dollars of of destroying evidence that you had cp on your phone. Shits cash.

Bump cause people need to stop getting caught

Bumping

Bump