Captain. Unknown ship in range. They are scanning us

Captain. Unknown ship in range. They are scanning us.

...

On screen.

...

...

Open hailing frequencies

...

...

...

...

Gonna need sauce on that, Sup Forumsro!

...

Somebody explain to me what the hell that is!

...

...

...

Its a bug sir, like a giant space beetle!

Worf calm the hell down! Wesley im sure its not a giant spacebug.

DARMOK AND JALAD AT TANAGRA

GIANT SPACEBUG!!!!!

With sails unfurled

Get that sonuva bitch off my bridge!!

We are being hailed.

Do the thing.

Shaka, when the walls fell.

I-I-INsecTs i ha-have taken over your ship you may either surrender yourself t-to me or DiEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Warble garble garf wort wort.

Its like a dinosaur or a donkey.

More ships inbound captain.

WORT WORT WORT

SIR A SHIP IS TRYING TO SIGNAL US

I'm sensing that there are more ships inbound captain.

Another unknown inbound.

Oh there are alot of you now. I am Jean Luc Picard captain of the starship Enterprise. State your intentions.

Well Im certainly glad that we are making new friends.

...

And what about your intentions, captain?

[force persuade] you will let me on your ship

Hello son. Im captain Jacob Keyes of the UNSC Cruiser Pillar of Autism. We are here to crash into something. Would you like an empty pistol with a full clip?

Captain! Engineering reports that we have a security breach!

Threads like this make me miss ids

Not now ladies im busy. You funny man please come aboard my ship. Keyes im somewhat unsure what you mean by empty loaded weapons. Please avoid crashing your space brick into my ship.

...

Wtf how does that suddenly happen. Gtfo Wesley we need an actual man on conn pls

M-M-MY cHILDREN have breached your ship P-PREPARE TO diEEEEEE

I concur number one. Please remove ensign crusher from the bridge untill he grows pubic hair.

You'll always be my special boy.

...

...

There's only one Star Trek that does not suck balls.

Are you deaf boy? OFF MY BRIDGE!!!!!

We doin are best!

PRIORITY ANNOUNCEMENT
"HONK!"

Greetings, Captain Pi-kard!

Captain, permission to remove individuals from bridge?

I-I-I HAVEEEEE ta-aken the LIBerty of modifying ENSIGN CRUSHER u-uusing some CYBERnetic modifactIONS and a V-VIRUS

He is now moreee beautiFUL than ever beforeeeee

...

Oh would you please? I would appreciate that. Also please find out about that intruder.

Mommy needs a little help, honey...

Christ you know what? Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I dont think you can fix him though.

This is bloody chaotic.

I-I-I HAVEEE INFECTed the entire engineering deck with a mutation virus THEYYYYY arE under My cOMMAND

SURRENDER YOUR SHIP AND you will h-h-have the privilege of not being liquidated

...

Listen shitpaste, you've got gay space soldiers warping in, an A.I. with a god complex and a teenage fuck machine for your comms officer. What kind of goddamned ark is this? Hey Riker, can I bum a smoke?

So we have an unknown alien fleet. An intruder screaming obscenities at crew members somewhere going on about the force. A retarded space brick trying to crash into stuff. Fucking Quark! Some computer face woman looking for children. Kirk bein a dick. Incest on deck C. Fuck you all when im doin with this line of coke raise shields and fire randomly at anything within range!!!!

Wait guys! I'm sure there is a way we can solve all of this without anyone getting hurt!

Lets just think about what is happening. Last I remember, my friends and I were fighting Discord...

I FUCKIN LOST IT

BURN MAIM KILL!

PURGE THE UNCLEAN

...

Q? Enough of this!

he be chill space captain man

let's find some ladies and get down to the love making

...

BRB going to the badlands for a quick mission

Shut up brannigan im already on it! You may help yourself to replicated cocaine.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

A strange presence is felt on-board the ship as a strange figure in white robes appears behind all of you with an unamused look on his beautiful face.

"I was wondering how long it would take one of you to figure it out. I have to say, Picard, I would have thought you would save some cocaine for me."

"Didn't think I'd see you again, let alone here, Jerusalem. Don't think I've forgotten that favor you owe me for curing that nasty bit of cancer you had."

what the fuck is happening here ?

...

Burn the heretic. Kill the mutant. Purge the unclean!

Whos talking!? Is that you jesus?

Instant tachyon emissions from my pants

just your friendly neighbourhood reptoids

...

No hope, only despair.

"Uh, no, dummy. I'm here to make the enterprise great again."

same person

Oh its just Q. Cocaine is on the dresser Q.

Lost
Fucking tamarians out of nowhere

We already have a wall trump. RAISE SHIELDS!!!!

um hello men of space

me and my dear sister need you guys to shoot at heaven there's two very rude and crude angels up there that deserve a good ion cannon shot

I hear there is a position for tactical officer

Yeah I quit due to not being able to drive

BLAM!

Fucking Heretics.

This is my favorite thing of all fucking time.

...

...

The Emperor shall be my shield, heretic.
Also, nice dubs.

did you just try to shoot at us ?

you do realize you shouldn't shoot a gun inside a ship

it's against the ruuuuuuuuurrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuus

Fuck this circus. I'm hitting ten forward until further notice. Chat up these niggers.