Go to take trash out

>Go to take trash out
>See this
Wat do?

Kill urself

Stick my dick in any available orifice and fuck the shit outta this thing

do a 360 flip and skate away

learn how to moonwalk very quickly.

Open the lid and put the bags in.

get a sudden craving for a whopper.

Earth has fallen evacuate to moonbase

Catch it and eat it.
Coconut crabs are good to eat.
>being this pleb

Go pick it up and make it my new guard crab. Nobody gonna steal your shit if they gotta fight a mudcrab first

Take a photo of it and make a 'wat do?' thread on Sup Forums.

Put on a pot of water. Them is good eats.

understand it's a coconut crab so kick it the fuck off my trash bin then toss the bags in and proceed to mock the crab for being a bitch

It would probably walk away from me. Nobody likes me

...

Call insurance company and tell them house burned down.

...

pet the crab on its head and encourage it to play in the yard, not with the garbage can

Turn 360 degrees and walk away

Food faggots people from cities are afraid of flys. Y'all won't survive when shit starts to get bad.

yes

????

Underrated post.

take it home

cook it

Fire-up a VERY large saucepan of boiling water.

>crab salad time!

Check the time
Clearly I am still extremely high on acid and need a reality check

Wrestle it. Looks like a lot of fun.

...

...

Top kek what a newfag. 360 degrees is a full circle. Youd be facing in the same direction. Lurk more faggot

>calling newfag for no reason
newfag.

...

>Witnessed.

...

Nothing since its only a crab

Cum on it?

Do complete circle many fast
Pants come down
Place flaccid penis in crab hands
Money

Pick up. Sell to some Chinese shop that has shit like that.

Run out of ideas to post on Sup Forums kill myself

Kek

too me

tell pjotr

"crab is size of Vladivostok rat"

"no"

Cook me up some coconut crab

>being this new

Shit myself.

>being so new to fall for it

>being so new that you reply to obvious b8

...

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in keks, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret trolls on youtube, and I have over 300 confirmed lels. I am trained in topkek and I’m the top kek in the entire US troll forces. You are nothing to me but just another meme. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of anons across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your lulz. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can trololo you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my gifs. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed memes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Sup Forums, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, newfag.

>implying that wasn't bait you replied to

Make that shit my pet, fam

Can you imagine a giant ass crab instead of a dog or cat? You'd be the shit in your town.

tonight we dine like kings

get out

You bastard. I didn't want to go anywhere today but now I have to drive a town over just to get a fucking whopper thanks asshole I just had a Big Mac yesterday and now I gotta deal with this shit, fuck you user.

How old are you? What is that 12? 11?

...

Grab stick and trash can lid. Battle crab to death on terms loser gets eaten

Isn't Vladivostok the Russian radio station from GTA 4?

Build a wall around it.

that's a certain case of assburgers

>implying any of this really matter and isn't just an Internet pissing match

Eat coconut crab for dinner.

do a 540 and hammer time away

>implying the entirety of the internet isn't just one big pissing match

trying way to hard to show that you purposely took the bait.

obv do a 1080 and cum on this shit.

I take the trash out and I go inside to get my phone so I can tame a picture of the friendly Coconut Crab.

>This is b8
>loq quality b8 at that
>mfw people still took it
>that or they are b8ing the b8 with a bit more b8

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Give it food and make it my pet. Then I'll put it on a leash and take my crab-bro around wherever I go. You'll never get mugged when you've got a crab-bro.

try to communicate with it. give it some psychs

Wonder how I got moved to an island in Micronesia without realizing it.

Be quite happy I'm not a coconut.

Make it my pet, harass neighbors, masturbate feverishly, have lunch.

Fire up the BBQ
>Coconut Crab
Coconut flavored crab is bae

Boil some water, and melt some butter. Those things are awesome!

You know these fucking things can climb into open windows on the second story of a house, right?

fap

>crab salad.

Nigga u dun fucked up

What the fucking fuck

The wall just got 10 feet taller, I assure you

>mrw

is not a crabbo?

This. But I would first paint flames on its shell, kinda like a hotrod.

p-put your dick in it

Shoot it or something
Take trash out
Have 10/10 crab meal for dinner

Underrated

throw pokeball

this thing probably poses no harm to me, but it would be really fun to blow it to bits with a 12 gauge. you'd probably want to wear goggles though, idk how juicy that leviathan crab meat is.

...

This guy gets it.
I always thought if I lived where they had coconut crabs I'd turn my basement into a giant aquarium/terrarium for them

Jesus...so nothing you can do isn't newfriend worthy. Guys this is a problem, we need to embrace these people not chastise them if they remember the old guy Mort

grab some tape and a bag, kick the fucker off. Tape up each claw avoiding being snipped at, bag that fucker. set up some boiling water, take it out of the bag on it's back. Use a meat clever to dispatch it, cook it though and see how it tastes.

Or we can let them be retards by themselves and ignore them

probably drop the garbage bags, shit myself, turn 360 degrees and back away, all the while wondering how fast crabs can run.

Wonder how I found my way into OP's pubes

>tfw full time trap

If we were all oldfags who would there be to make fun of?

You mean 180 newfag

Ask my mom whys shes going through my trash

You mean 180 newfag