The thread seemed kinda popular so let's see if we can continue this shit

The thread seemed kinda popular so let's see if we can continue this shit.

St. Peter looks at John and says, "Whoa. Hardcore dude."
When John arrives in Hell, Satan is waiting but instead of an actual hell of burning and chains and whatever other kinky shit is there, Satan has another proposition.
"John, you truly are one hardcore bro. So, how about we smoke some blunts, drink a little, and you can consider becoming my Vice President of Hell."
Dubs decides.

I want to be president.

El presidente

john shits on the carpet

Pick up the bottle and glass satan

finally fuck

Wait so is Satan like elected democratically or what?

double dubs checked

I want to go to bed. Can John just be sacked into the void?

"Holy shit!" yells Satan. "My new throw rug! You are not a radical dude! Fuckin die John!"
Time for a boss battle. Use your rolls wisely.
1 decides. Determine a course of action for John to take to try and defeat the boss, (punch boss, throw picture frame at boss, etc.)

Then go to bed sweet one. Chicken tendies will be waiting in the morning.

Toss the turd rug at satan

finger bang gun

John tries to attack Satan with his awesome anime fighting skills, doing sick flips and stuff
He then realises that anime lied and he can't fight for shit

nice winwar

John falcon punches Satan in the dick.

I ate all the tendies while I was fucking your grandpa. We are both enjoying the bread but would like a good ending.

John goes full weeb and tries to attack Satan. His poor fighting skills cost him 30 HP as Satan viciously slaps him like the little anime bitch he was being. C'mon John.
2 decides. Can John stop being a bitch for now and defeat Satan?

Trump!

John manages to cuck Satan with a dragon dildo

Roll

winrar?

John fucks one of Satan's many demon whores, one who he happened to have feelings for, with a dragon dildo. Satan is emotionally hurt and loses 25 HP. What a bitch.
3 decides.

Stops being a bitch a robo punches Satan in the nuts

Rollin

John apologizes for shitting up Satan's rug, and dragon dildo dicking his favorite demon bitch. They hug it out. All is forgiven.

John grabs the bottle off the table and smashes it over Satan's head.

Reroll.

Re re roll.

john grows a thirty foot dick and uses it to smash satan against the wall

oh shit i got it whaddup

John and Satan share the sex Toys

John's dick elongates after the sexual pleasure of fuckin Satan's bitch with a dildo. John's dick is an erect 30 incher and it's gonna be erect for a while. He smashes Satan with it bringing him down to 50 HP. John's dick is so big however that he now moves slower. Satan recovers and uses quick movement to outmaneuver John and strike him for damage.
4 decides.

John sticks a foot up satans ass, then shoots him

Use robotic arm to once again fap like lightning and cum on Satan to glue him to the wall. Super fap powers

Roll

REROLL

ROLLS

Dick shrinks and John robo arm uppercuts satans nuts

John calls the police, telling them that Satan is a nigger
He tells them to send all cops, SWAT and riot police because they should expect a chimp out

Roll

Reroll

FUCKING ROLL!!!

4 get

Waste

John requests a short bathroom break and clogs satans toilet

Final roll

John uses political correctness to prove Satan isn't real.

Roll

Looks like Satan's not how he used to be. He's within an inch of his life. What will John do with him? Finish him, or use him for something far more nefarious?
5 decides.

John calls upon a nigger chimpout to beat the shit out of satan. For good measure, john calls upon a sqaudron of police officers to shoot the chimping niggers, with satan taking bullet damage and nigger damage in the process.

Make Satan his janitor who cleans his rugs when he shits on them daily.

Rolling for this

Satan calls a timeout and becomes a feminist on tumblr

John rips off Satan's horn, uses it to cuck Satan again, then shoves it up Satan's ass

reroll

winrar, he got 5 OP

John pisses in Satan's eye and pokes it

I'm gonna go head and assume that you meant to reply to the more recent one.
In the chaos of the SWAT riot of Satan's house in hell, John manages to escape the nigger vs. police conflict and find his way to the exit of Hell. He takes Satan's demon bitch with him.
John comes back to life at his own funeral in front of thousands of people celebrating his achievements as an American hero, from the previous thread. Satan's bitch is with him and George W. Bush Jr. is there to greet him.
6 decides.

Thanks fam.

Rolling for John trades George w bush jr his whore for being the president

John rapes his own corpse

Shake George W. Bush's hand and greet him as well. Wave and smile to the crowd and tell them that it's an honor to be here. John then lives out the rest of his days peacefully with his shit ton o' money. He eventually marries the demon bitch and they have 3 abominations together. George W. Bush went on to be the first returning president in history as he fucks up the rule on only two terms. Trump becomes his VP and then serves again after George. Satan got arrested and is still being held in Neo Alcatraz to this day. And as for the thread, well, it died peacefully.

John calls up his gay lover Pope Francis and together they resurrect Harambe just to kill him again, gaining 50 exp

John goes to Iran to grind exp

Fucking wasted roll

Spiderman!

John and Satan's bitch kidnap George W Bush.

I'm true to my word user. John's adventure ends today. Maybe he'll return someday. This is his 5th adventure after all.

Ending:
We already know what happened to John, George, and Satan. But about the others?
OP went on to become the biggest faggot there was. Some say he sucks cock even to this day.
St. Peter was regretful that he had to let John go but John inspired him to pursue bigger things. He now works as an accountant for Vishnu.
John's TV at the beginning ended up starring in several other quest threads before going on to Hollywood to star in famous movies. He died of an overdose in Las Vegas at the age of 35.
John's dragon dildo continues to cuck others even to this day.

Was the SWAT Officer who arrested Satan the same Officer in boxers from the LAPD North Hollywood shootout

No. In fact, a SWAT officer was not the one who arrested Satan. It was one of the police officer's on the scene, a deputy Jimmy Russels. Jimmy was killed in a BLM riot a few weeks later. This is one of the events that led to the impending race war which was ended when current president Trump nuked half of America.

john joins isis

what a gay ass ending