H-hey Anonymous! How are y-you feeling today?

H-hey Anonymous! How are y-you feeling today?
Need a h-hug? A shoulder t-to cry on? Or help w-with a problem you have?

Don't suffer in silence Anonymous.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4
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Not OP, but If anyone wants me to write them a story or poem, I will make it an amazing one.
Alice's advice is probably better than my stories, but I still have fucking awesome stories.

And Cupcake, if you are watching..I'm sorry to hear about your injury; as someone still going through PT after years, I know how demoralizing it can be.

If you want to talk, even if you hate me, even if all you wish to do is take it out on me...I'm always here for you.

*smiles* W-what a thoughtful gesture.

Been a while. How's life?

It's q-quite fine. I'll be doing a WebM cooking s-show tomorrow at 10PM, if all goes w-well

What are you cooking?

Anything vegetarian/vegan?

Where do you get your protein from?

Turkey b-burgers!

Aren't you overdoing it a bit, Avatarfag?

Anyways, my preferred method of you killing yourself for today would be simple wrist slashing. Too simple? To painful?

Hear me out, first! With a little bit of preparation it's a dead sure, almost painless and quite relaxing way to go.

First, get yourself some aspirin. Pop 2-4 of them pills and draw yourself a bath. If you use bath soap gel for little kids, it won't even burn the slightest bit. And it helps a lot preventing clotting too!

Then, get in the tub, slit your wrists the right way and just wait.
Have some relaxing music playing and wait it out. 10 Minutes tops!
Remember to keep the writs under water and to use a very sharp razor blade.

Good luck!

Hello Alice! How was your day? Just thought I'd pop in for a little while, time is on my side after all~

H-having a lot of experience with suicide attempters, it's n-not nearly as painless or as certain as y-you think.

And I do hope you'll c-come to my cooking show tomorrow

youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4
I'm not vegan, I'm thinking about it, but I am (recently) vegetarian.
Please don't meme.
>they actually spent the time, even if they wrote this up earlier and keep copy pasting it, at some point they actually took the time for this meme
Show me your underwear.

Why does it has to do in a tub?
What would it change? I'm curious

Salads aren't cooking, faggot.
That sounds... nice. Worchestershire sauce?

this thread gave me cancer.

Oh h-hello

W-why d-do y-you type like t-this?

A s-special blend of spices.

W-why don't you?

R-really? How? Sup Forums d-does not emit noticable amounts of radiation.

Do you have tits?
If so the only way to help is to get them out.

Why are you so upset that I'm a vegetarian? Do you want me to write you a story or not? Either way, I'll keep posting comic book panels.
>water wicks away blood
This is really catchy. Make that shit my band name, Alice. We should start a band. Call it...
A-Alice And The Sh-Shitposters.

Check'd! My day was interesting, I'll say that much. What are you going to have with the turkey burgers, if anything?

He was right tho. You can't cook a salad.

I know of n-no known mental disorder that w-works that way.

W-who are the shit posters?

please contain your faggot stutter typing shit to your gay ass anime boards

etc.

Sup Forums is an adult only board. talking like a retarded 12 year old is neither cute nor endearing

SHE LIES, SHE LIES

SHE HOLDS UP THE PSYCHOLOGY TEXTBOOK HIGH

SHE PUTS IT DOWN

AND THEN SHE LIES

ugh, this bitch again.

If done right, it will, Avatarfag. I have some more sure ways, if you're interested. One of them involves peaches!

But yeah, 10pm EST is to late for me. That's like 4am on a civilized continent.
But if you take suggestions, I would suggest a raw green beans salad, with some potato and tomato leaves and I know a hemlock-pesto-dressing recipe that's just to die for!

And now I have to go to bed. I wasted the whole day. Might as well get the most out of the night.

I don't like Alice but you have to be retarded or new. Sup Forums was made for weeb shit, you moron.

Turkey is just too bland and dry.
I've got a life long grudge against herbivores. Uppity, holier than thou retards.

You got me there.
I was going to also say *snaps fingers* but I thought it would be excessively autistic, so this, as in me telling you that I was merely going to say it, is my way of saying it without really saying it.
>W-who are the shit posters?
Aaaaand that's it! You nailed the title for our first album. I'm liking this already.

She lies like you wouldn't believe, folks

S-sorry dear, I've b-been on Sup Forums since 2004.
You can't simply talk me out of my home.

I d-don't know! Buns?

S-sleep tight

this retarded argument again... originally yes. however back then there weren't 50 different boards for other shit.

She'll lie even if telling the TRUTH would benefit her more.

Lyin' Alice everyone!

Also, I'm n-not even from an anime. If anything, I b-belong on /jp/ or /vg/

At l-least compare me to Rubio.
Comparing m-me to the Zodiac killer is just rude, even f-for you.

Emotions are a purely physical process, no different from water and iron forming rust or the leaf of a plant using sunlight to produce glucose. They don't mean anything.

You're using Final Fantasy font on your shitty fanart?!?!!?

You've gone too fucking far you stupid little bitch. I've had enough of your crap and I've had it with you and these 'psych' threads. Originally I didn't mind, but now you've crossed the line. You don't even have a degree, your dumbass probably never took the class. If you did you would have failed it.

And you have to remember we're on Sup Forums, you can post any kind of shit here as long as it isn't cp or illegal shit.
No hard feelings tho.

The only reason you call someone 'Lyin" is because of your tiny hands. You can't reach the whole keyboard.

She's a liar that I can tell ya

*blinks* I agree with your first sentiment, but not with your conclusion. They don't mean anything, globally, but they certainly mean things to the people that feel them.

That's sort of their purpose, after all.

The way I see it, the avatar don't fucking enter into it. It's not about Alice's images, it never has been, it's about the posts. The cute pictures are just there for some other reasons, let me list some possibilities:
>draw people in with cuteness
>easy recognizability
>just for the hell of it
>to trigger people
>because come on it's cute
Everything's a physical process, so I guess treating illness has no meaning? You're trying too hard to sound smart.

It's n-not fan art, it's a homage.

And I do have two degrees, thank you very much.

None at all.

It's actually b-because my mother, the original Alice, posted l-like this...it's something of an homage to her...

Their purpose was to keep us alive long enough to reproduce. Given that we live in what is essentially captivity, they are, at best, vestigial.

Shut up m8

no /b is for stuff that doesn't specifically belong on other boards, such as anime which has like 9 other boards. your mentality is what ruins Sup Forums

>treating illness has no meaning?

Correct.

Your patient is still going to die no matter what you do.

Edgy.

I tell ya folks she lies like you wouldn't believe

She's like the Trump train, you can't stop her!

We live in captivity? Odd t-that I'm so independent then.

As well, that is not the purpose of emotions; they are heuristics to allow us to quickly react to certain circumstances. As those circumstances still readily occur, they are not vestigial.

You may need to go back to evolution and ecology; good class.

Well. For now, at least.

Hmm. I like the word homage, because like the words heir and hour, they are pronounced as if they start with 'o'.
Then find a cute person to dump your sperm into, or a cute person to dump their stuff into you.
Yes.
I don't believe that you actually live the way your philosophy suggests. It's edginess for edginess's sake.

P-please, do tell. W-what do I lie about?

How many predators did you evade on the way to work? How many animals did you have to kill to get your protein for the day.

Civilization is captivity. That's why our lifespans went from three decades to ten. Everything lives longer in captivity.

On a second thought, don't shut up, call him edgy again.

Two degrees.
Neither of which are psych based.

The only homage you need to use is your own you faggot.

Nooooo, please don't engage with the 'ironic' Sup Forums memer!
OK
You're edgy again.

M-me? Personally? None. Luckily, those aren't the only heuristics that emotions respond to.

>Then find a cute person to dump your sperm into

And create another person? Force them to go through the same shit as me? What kind of monster do you take me for?

stop pretending a psychology degree makes you qualified

Oh hey Alice. Benn a while... How are you ?

>I don't believe that you actually live the way your philosophy suggests.
Well I grant you, I am still alive. Sort of hypocritical of me.

Sometimes she believes in her own lies and passes lie detector tests!

I have a lot of friends in the FBI I tell ya, and only the sickest of the sick can believe in their own lies well enough to Ace the test like she can.

LYIN' ALICE EVERYBODY

One of which is psychology, and the other is computer science.

You uhm...kind of fucked up there, son

I think I know him, sorry.

C-can't complain, what about you?

The area of dumping doesn't have to be the vagina, user. It could be the butt, mouth, eye, navel, nose, right kidney...

P-please do not ejaculate into internal organs.

Heh, wish it was the same for me, really. But complaining can't do anything...

I consider killing myself every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep. Sometimes more between.

Wow, kink-shaming much, Alice?

best advice I've ever seen given

Tell me about it, then.

Oh d-dear, that s-sounds awful Anonymous...have you been t-to a doctor?
That s-sounds like intrusive thoughts, a symptom of depression.

>

Hey Alice, you going ask Crazy Bernie for your $27 back?

You just ruined sex. The stomach, colon, and uterus are all internal organs.

Three more reasons for me to don my exit bag.

So you don't have a degree related to Final Fantasy or Video Games whatsoever for that matter?

Then don't use its resources you little shit.

You fucked up bitch.

Fuck, man. You still have other options.
Feet, belly button, armpits. Those are all cute, try ejaculating there.

There isn't much to say, apart from a lingering depression for 2 years and an isolation into video games as it's the only thing that allows me to forget about it.
But you already knew I don't do much more of my days...

Hey, i'm not tha fond for Alice either, but you have to recognize she does helps people.
You're just edgy.
You too.
Sorry for posting and all, i just don't want a derrailed thread again.

How long have you been doing this now?
I've never participated but I swear I remember seeing this thread back in 2012 or some stuff.

You know that someone with a computer degree would be capable to make games, right ?

Hope it's in this thread.

Y-you don't really ejaculate "into" them in t-the way I was meaning. They are m-more of containers.

I meant inside in a slightly different manner. Sorry for the confusion.

Also, I hope if you are long enough to ejaculate into the stomach directly, that you contact me at [email protected]

F-for reasons.

I am c-currently MAKING a video game, if t-that helps.

S-sounds like you might n-need to talk to someone about t-that....

Alice called me on the phone just now and told me to stop.

5 years.

The thoughts aren't intrusive, I actively weigh the pros and cons, and it's never quite bad enough to decide to kill myself. I don't see a point in going to a doctor, I'm aware I'm depressed.

N-not sure what I could have d-done to offend you, b-but I do apologize if my actions have m-made you not "fond" of me.

5 years.

M-my phone is dead currently...

So you don't see a point in getting treatment for your mental disorder? That sounds....silly.

Madam, I'm a nerd, not a horse.

I did... Well indirectly at least, and had to see a therapist for a full year. Nothing really came out of it...

Kek

It sure would be interesting...

>5 years
Fair play, that's some dedication to cheering up Sup Forumstards with a touhou character.
Best of luck

I see everything as pointless, my dream goal is understanding the universe/multiverse(which is impossible), humanities lack of compassion and will to work together makes me wish for humanity to not exist, I have no motivation in life whatsoever and I also suffer from megalomania coupled with extremely low self esteem and further dwindled by my perception of life where nothing actually matters. I fight every day to do anything at all and the only reason I won't kill myself is because it's as pointless as anything else and living gives me a slight hope that at some point I will have some kind of brain damage that will make me content.

Lyin' Alice told me she's voting for Crooked Hillary because BERNIE told her to.

My hair was like WHOA

It doesn't help you faggot. It makes it worse. You can't even 3d model, draw sprites, script, or write a story. You can barely program.

Don't insult FF again cunt.

What game are you making? Does it involve bombs, cats, magic, and/or cute girls?
I hope so.

After so much time, you're just used to all the retards you can find here.

Every day I wake up and say I'm gonna go outside to get a job somewhere.

Every day I don't leave and just watch the news and reruns on TV, and fun post on Sup Forums. I need a job to move out but just don't have any motivation since everyone always tells me to apply online and I get nowhere.

What should I do?

How can you know ?

>Don't insult FF again cunt.
I don't see why. With a 6.1 on imdb, other people seem to get away with critizing Freaky Friday (2003.)