Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

doc I was here yesterday
I suffer from a soldiers heart
can you help me?

8 years of Hillary Clinton

*sigh* Not this again. What did Mr. Neelix tell you?

Well, we've had 7 years of Janeway, so I can't see any problem with female leadership if that's what you're implying.

...

i buy hitler paintings and burn them

help me

I've had an erection for over four hours

Friends of B'elanna?

With what currency? We don't use money in this time period.

Hm. Talk to Seven. She has a way of...relaxing crewmembers.

It burns when I pee and I think somehow I got the clap from a holo-brothel.

doc, everyone on deck 18 is freaking out about how they saw hillary clinton on the hollow deck! it was that terrifying!

I'm afraid it has gotten worse doc
I need the advice of Mr. Neelix

Shmullus, is that really you?

I wouldn't think Captain Janeway would even authorize that type of program.

You were having a dream, Ensign.

Please state the nature of the emotional emergency.

>Please state the nature of the emotional emergency.

I'm racist against Talaxians.

I have acne on my back

what can you do?

>I wouldn't think Captain Janeway would even authorize that type of program.

She ain't gots to know...does she?

>

Bacne, well. I would suggest you cut back on the greasier rations and drink more water. Be sure you're also sonic-showering regularly.

Captain Janeway has demonstrated that she knows EVERYTHING that goes on on this ship. She's not even an engineer, but she knows how to reprogram my subroutines.

When we went on shore leave that one time, I went to a museum about the Talaxian Holocaust. I had an erection the whole time. Hell, I spent three days in that museum.

God dam Neelix you have let yourself go

all those yellow spots on your head, you should not be sporting a Mohawk

and I'm waiting for you to break down emotionally so fuck you

Anyway... your a faggot so you'll probably try to give me some advice

Well, I am thoroughly offended. I'm going to tell the Captain.

help me doc im addicted to loli holodeck porn

what is this "sonic-showering"?

>I'm going to tell the Captain.

Go on, tell the Captain. She can't unrape you.

I saw the programs. I'm revoking your holodeck privileges for the duration of this mission home. I'll inform the other crewmen to keep you away from Naomi Wildman.

>what is sonic-showing?
AND THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE BACNE.

what happened to your usual stupid faggot advice Neelix

You should shave that retarded beard by the way..

I don't want to resort to violence.

I need you to shower me Doctor

I'd rather not.

I have .... these .... sexual ..... urges.

Kess is a lesbian, Neelix

Chicks dig her sexy deep gravely voice.

She wasn't into you, though

well faggot I'm in your face

may I remind you how ugly your face is

and I'm tired of this "I'm emotionally stable and everybody's bud guy" shit your always playing

furthermore I will challenge you to a duel Mr Neelix!!

Mr. Neelix, I need your advice. I hooked up with this chick at the Christmas party on Deck 12. Well, long story short, we fucked. Later on I found out she's underage. Her name is Kes and she's only like 3 years old. Swear to God, I thought she was like 25. Anyways, she said she's got this cuck for a boyfriend and he has no dick. Should I keep going out with her or just use and abuse her a few more times?

I CAN'T STOP GETTING DUBS

>reminder
your my doctor, you will heal me in a shower

Okay, that's enough. Neelix is a cool guy, and you need to leave him alone.

WEREN'T YOU LISTENING? Neelix can't talk right now because other crewmen have accosted him.

>u suck

are you sure it was a dream?? chakotay said that his dreams are pretty real, if not real. I do not think it was a dream

Doctor...

Is Chakotay really a man. In fact, are both he and ensign Kim really robots pretending to be men?

You should have explored the particle fountain. It would have done wonders for your hairline.

I'm fairly certain, yes. Much of Mr. Chakotay's findings are unbased in any real science.

You want to see just how much of a man I really am?

not aw

not this white boy mutherfucker

Don't stand between me and Neelix

I've killed before and I'll kill again

my girlfriend wants to be just friends

ur a faggot

Doctor, now that you've achieved sentience, do you enjoy giving rectal exams to the crew?

Maybe I should have.


You wanna go with me, Ensign Trip?

I GOT MY DICK STUCK IN A RAT TRAP PLEASE HELP OH GOD IT HURTS IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT COLOR PLEASE GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF OW OW OW

My organs are screaming

Must I sigh at you again?

Not dumbass I want Neelix's head on a platter

Poor Mr. Paris. You know Belanna pulled the train with all the men on Deck 3, right?

Doc, I think I may be suffering from the initial stages of "Failure to Care" syndrome... Or maybe just Mono...

Well, look back to the year 2016 and see that most of the western worlds leading social leaders were also professing to things that were not based in any real science and they didn't need any proof to be right, so how do I know you are? even 7of9 agrees with me that you profess to unscientific things like dating

I see that there was no answer on the Kim front.

my pecker doesn't spring into action like it used to. i have to coax it quite a bit now.

>I think I may be suffering from the initial stages of "Failure to Care" syndrome

That's just another day in Starfleet.

Mr. Tuvok.

Get that imposter off my ship. Now!

I'm sorry, but have we met?

I was zoning out, thinking about all the alien puss I've slain. Did you say something?

(I signed on because they said we'd see Orion slave girls. I ask ya, doc, WHEN? My balls get any bluer, and they'll mistake me for an Andorian!)

Doctor I have spent money on this the last month, that I could have bought 5 copies of No Man Sky.

Wuts up wid that slappy?

Hideous bag of mostly water...

We don't have money in this century. Did you mean you say you spent all of your Latinum?

hisssss

...

No...

I was promoted before they brought you in, dear.

Is there anything else?

I am not latinum I am British.

Computer, deactivate the EMH.

You Mr. Paris, in my Ready Room. NOW.

Best Captain

My dear captain... you look so tense

Perhaps this small creature will improve your spirits!

Consider it a gift. A token of my esteem and appreciation.

...

Fuck off whore, you are proof that women don't belong in the captain's chair.

Yeah doc, eye have a problem.

Eye can't help being off by 1!

Help!

Have you thought about joining the continuum?

Riker was so stolid.

You seem like you might be more... solid.

I would, but my wife would kill me.

I mean shit, just look at her. Bitch is scary in any dimension.

You humans lead such dreary lives.

>You're sure you can't assimilate them?

You ever been fucked by a klingon female?

Painful, yes. Dreary, no.