Bonjour, mon name is Monsieur Ken

Bonjour, mon name is Monsieur Ken.

I’m a 27 year old American ouiaboo (Francophile fan for you anglos). I read Voltaite and Victor Hugo on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior French games. (Assassin's Creed, Rayman, Dishonored).

I bake at least one baguette every day, this superior bread can cut clean through hunger because it is baked over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other bread on earth. I earned my bread license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak French fluently, both French and the Quebec dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about French history and their Napoleonic code, which I follow 100%.

When I get my French visa, I am moving to Paris to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Code Lyoko or a member of the French Foreign Legion!

I own several berets, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to France, so I can fit in easier. I kiss everyone on the cheek at least four times and speak French as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in France!

>be french
>wake up and sniff armpits
>"honhonhon pas assez smelly je pense, c'est unacceptable honhonhon"
>rub crushed garlic all over yourself to rectify this
>bus drivers are on strike again, ride bicycle to work
>accidentally enter sharia zone
>shaved twirly, effeminate moustache yesterday so look like a little boy
>dutifully accept your government-mandated anal penetration
>apologise to muhammed, abdul and faisal for not enjoying it enough, promise to do better next time
>finally get to work
>clock in
>surrender hard for 45 minutes
>clock out
>go on strike for having to work 15 minutes longer than usual
>get blown up on the way home

>be french
>surrender to your alarm clock
>wake up
>have cold meat for breakfast because you already surrendered to your oven, stove and microwave
>pretend to brush teeth
>practise surrendering to yourself in the mirror
>spend three hours trying to cross the road because you keep surrendering to the traffic
>finally get to work
>surrender to your boss
>surrender to your clients
>surrender to head office
>surrender to germany in 1940
>go home
>surrender to yet another terrorist attack
>surrender to the government
>get tired
>surrender to your bed

>being an ex-colony

disgraceful

>be french
>go outside
>get blown up
>go to work
>get blown up
>go to school
>get blown up
>go to the movies
>get blown up
>declare war on germany
>surrender
>go to nice
>get run over by a truck

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LOL

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please watch our sport

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EXCELLENT thread, zeeland shitposting is truly such a beautiful thing too
God Defend New Zealand indeed

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LE PAINTING FOR ZE CULTURED FRENCHMAN

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stop bullying france please kiwi lad ;_;

t. pierre

Please lad this is like throwing a toddler to the ground and curb stomping it repeatedly

This is one of the most autistic threads I've ever seen on Sup Forums.

What my compatriot won't tell you, is despite whatever military meme victories we Anglos have had in the past, there is the underlying realization that we are simply inferior to the French.

In Food, France simply demolishes us. In Art, France also is superior. What is the English alternative to Monet or Renoir? If anything, it will be a cheap imitation. In Literature perhaps we have some standing, but nothing can beat Dumas or Hugo's brilliant prose. The French are more virile and superior lovers compared to prudish Anglos. France consistently outclasses Anglo's in every avenue. We should just stop competing.

> MUH EMPIRE

A sad attempt at compensating for the knowledge that we will NEVER be French.

You must be new here

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Deep...

I am a homosexual please sit on my face strong black bulls

Love this Kiwi

See the pathetic inferiority complex of the average Anglo on display.

200% Frenchman.

Why are Anglo's so obsessed with France?

Is that folder empty already ? Better go find more pictures salty kiwi

Nuke the whales

rainbow warrior status: avenged

Not enough Canada in this thread.

My uncle's a mountie, and he always told me in Eastern Ontario (where we lived) French Canadians are our Mexicans. They're Latinos, undereducated, involved in drugs and don't integrate.