I'm 30 today
>no job
>no friends
>virgin wizard
>stoner
>ugly
>balding
>jew
>completely broke despite merchant genes
>5.5 inch penis
>shit car
>not edgy or suicidal but seriously see no reason to continue living aside from inertia
cheer me up with random shit Sup Forums
or encourage me to off myself with bleach, I don't care
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At least u got a car
No, don't drink bleach op
Take a bath with a toaster
it doesn't run anymore
I'm a terrible driver, only got a lincense like 2 years ago
on my first day I smashed the door on a concrete wall because I didn't yet know how to park right
tinder fuck date robe a place buy weird sex toys be curious
>5.5 inch penis
>not 12 inch monster horse cock
I used to think i wanted friends until i actually got friends and all i did was want to stay inside.
Its a vicious cycle.
yep
Congratulations! You have accomplished what most of us only dream of!
Walking the path of a wizard will bring nothing but good fortune and dank spells. It seems like you familiarized yourself with herbs, have a chariot and are overflowing with power, so much that you are balding.
I feel as if you are ready to confront this earth and its muggles, OP. Godspeed.
>procrastination
I've actually tried to make a bucket float in the air by concentrating
didn't work sadly
That's because you haven't acquired a wand. Rookie mistake, don't let it bother you.
scarjo is a jew
...
a wand you say
alright, I'll try with what I have
You need 20 more years worth of experience to use a staff.
Fuck knows man. Take some acid and try to reevaluate your life. Start working out and eating a little healthy and after a month you will generally start feeling happier about yourself. Maybe start a cheap hobby? Why not just go for a walk and listen to some good music to cheer yourself up a bit too
:(
this should cheer you up
It wasn't going too bad until you said jew.
...