Im freaked out Sup Forums. ive been upstairs for 30 minutes by myself, home alone. theres someone downstairs...

im freaked out Sup Forums. ive been upstairs for 30 minutes by myself, home alone. theres someone downstairs, sounds like they're going through my fucking shit. dog is going fucking crazy, never heard such a thing. the phone is downstairs, as well as my little .22 pistol ( i was playin with it earlier in the back yard).
what do? i locked the door, dog is down there though which is another problem!
should i just ride this out?

Light the house on fire

i should probly mention i dont have a dog either.

Order a pizza, see if someone opens the door for him, if not it will scare them away.

>Signal neighbors from window
>go downstairs with a blunt object
>go downstairs and suck their cocks
>kill yourself before they kill you
>carry your gun with you at all times and invest in a cell phone

all viable options

any valuables downstairs?

put off all clothes and rush them while shouting

Walk towards him slowly while facing the floor and breath very deeply and loudly.


I am not joking, do this

OP send a pic

pics

im hoping its not just the tv i may have left that onnn. btw have any of you ever gone as far as to take 16 hits of acid. i think it all hit me at once

Have you considered contacting the police you stupid cunting fucktrumpet?

goddamnit op

If you don't have a way to protect yourself, call the cops.

post your address and we'll call the cops for you

Go downstairs and before they can see you scream at the top of your lungs in the most manly voice you can:

"WELL LOOKS LIKE I'M GETTING MY COCK SUCKED BY SOME STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS TONIGHT"
"AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM TO COME TO MY PLACE"
"GET ON YOUR KNEES OR GET THE FUCK OUT CAUSE YOUR ASS IS MINE FOR THE NEXT 12 HOURS IF NOT"

Are you kidding me? You deadly force against them and end their existence .
Quit being a pussy, before they come upstairs and rape you. Rape them first, Guardian.

jump out window

hahahahahha

don't do that

message a friend and get them to doit

you have friends right OP?

I dont know maybe call the fucking policd

Grab something heavy that you can use to bash in a skull. Go downstairs and chase their asses out, with the secondary goal of getting to your gun or phone. From now on keep your fucking gun in your bedroom or on your person and your phone nearby at all times.

Police*

try contacting someone on the computer, see if they can call tha popo 4 ya. hope ur alright duderino.

You're posting this shit?! Get the fuck down there and drop some fucking bodies!!

i think im just fucked

HURRY UP AND FUCKING MESS EM UP user

Do you have any hard or sharp objects in your room? Anything that could be used to defend yourself?

Go downstairs and rape that faggot to death. It is Nature's way.

i just did a sweep of the house theres noboby here

Op, pics of proof. Are you using your laptop? What exactly are you using?

Call the cops. Block the door with a dresser, or a chair. Move it quietly. Get off Sup Forums and message someone you can trust.

Don't challenge, you don't know what you're up against.

breathing though thats a weird feeling

>No ones there

OP is a fucking pussy

proof of what i ate it all

OP stands at the top of stairs and, in the girliest, most high pitched screach you've ever heard, screams, "Please lete suck your dick for twelve hours!!!"

op's fucked

What happened OP?

Is the dog ok
this is all i care about

He should challenge them, what are you talking about? Stop being a bunch of pussies and stand your ground , nigger

Probably a way to contact your local law enforcement online.. or have one of these anons or someone else call them for you??

fake as fuck

Welp Ops dead

Fap to the sounds coming from downstairs. It will scare them away. 65% of the time it works all the time trust me Im a horse.

Yeah! OP should roll down the stairs naked and start waving his cock at them!

i have a glden rule of never taking 7 hits of acid so i doubled it and added 2 i think it worked out

you can take 6 or take 8 but never 7

You have a computer. Post on FB that someone is breaking in the house and that you need a friend to call 911. Post your address.

like i said theres no one in my house i checked

Might aswell offer them your anus you fucken pussy fuckboy

Make a porno.

The phone is downstairs
>E.T. phone home

Fuckin seriously. If I heard weird noises in my home, me and my dog would have already been hunting the intruder.

Suck their cock. The problem with that is that the intruder probably isn't a faggot. Like you are. Go out there and beat them up faggot pussy nigger.

You ppussy faggot defend your domain.Fashion a club of some sort and aim for the neck to stun

anyways op here this shit makes no sense im out

Grab something, anything, a bat, a shoe, etc.
Slam your door open so you know they heard it, I mean LOUD.
Stomp while running to the stairs and down the stairs.
Scream as loud as you can, "ITS ALL SHREK NOW!"
Slam your bat, shoe, etc against the wall while you run down the stairs.
Making as much fucking noise as you can.
As soon as you hit the ground floor book it for the front door screaming, "IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!".
Once out in the front yard, flip on your phone, turn on Youtube Live and film.

You'll have them so scared and confused more than likely they will be scrambling to get away from your house. If you see one start chasing after him with camera, LOUDLY repeating what he is wearing and weight/height. etc.

Chances are it's a raccoon honestly. But its better to scare the fuck outta them too.

That webm is fucking amazing. If this was a YBYL thread, I'd have just lost hard!

This

Why isn't hat dog wearing an absurd amount of gear too?

Yeah... or theyll shoot you

SHOOT THEM

Work yourself into, a wild rage, smash some stuff around upstairs to make lots of noise, then run downstairs with some sort of improvised weapon in a bloodthirsty rampage

So that's why we're always taught to put our rifles over the right shoulder when on operations, night shift and marching.

Whenever my house is invaded by unknown intruders, I start a thread on Sup Forums.

It's a pretty good way to solve real life problems.

Because the guy is carrying it dumbfuck.
You think he chases people? He handles the dog.
If you put shit on the dog it could get snagged or create a grab point to throw the dog.

Ok op, update us whats going on

May not be nigger intruders trying to rape op. Ever see any horror movies with ghosts and shit!

Casper brought his dog along to fuck you up!

op is dead yo

OP here. Can't talk to you guys right now, getting buttsexed by three nigger intruders.

All my dreams have come true. The dog is licking my testicles too!

Phew. That's a relief op. Glad ur OK and....

Wait.. what?!

Fucking ghosts and demons dude!

Is your house built over an Indian burial site??!

Well this is frustrating. If OP is dead, we get no pics or story.

No entertainment value.

Find any blunt object or look for any kind of thing that can be used as a weapon like a dildo or some shit, beat his skull in, rip his eye out and skull Fuck him. Or if you have a knife shove the sharp part into his dick or ass hole and rip it out, let him bleed

Hey you whiny little faggot. If you're not dead and the Trappists are still there then go to top of stairs and shout real loud - never talk to me or my son ever again.

Guaranteed to work

Wonder why you ask b instead of the police

Ruin downstairs and shout "police! Freeze you fucking perp". If no gun, paint your hand black and shape into a gun.

If this fails, throw a bag at them and shout Alluah Akhbar and run outside.

Both 100℅ winners. Take video or pics to

WINRAR

...

RIP OP