How do i become an MMA commentator?

How do i become an MMA commentator?

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>be good looking
>have good personality
>get to do whatever you want in life

lose half of your brain cells in a bar brawl first

Become a washed up cumrag of an MMA fighter first.

you have to talk this thhiiis braah

>Joe Rogan will die in your lifetime
Why do I feel bad about this? I mean the guy killed the Man Show after all.

With the satisfying, energizing crunch of Corn Nuts, CORN TO THE CORE

Fuck you. Rogan is based. Sage

>Sage
Won his last fight, hopefully has a good career ahead of him since he's still quite young

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER youtube.com/watch?v=aLT5WJI90CM

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:
- ALPHA BRAIN
- SHROOMTECH
- KRILL & MCT OIL
- PRIMATE CARE PILLS
youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES
>FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE LMAO

>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
- Joe Rogan, 2015

BRIAN REDBAN – YOU ARE LITERALLY A PARASITE, I OWN YOU, YOUR SOUL, YOU ARENT A PERSON ANYMORE, JUST A DEFORMED CLINGING MANIFESTATION OF MY GREATNESS (brought to you by ONNIT™)
I BROUGHT YOU INTO THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY – AND NOW I’M TAKING YOU OUT (sponsored by Ting™)
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

- Brought to you by SquareSpace©

cue the hempforce mustard

Thank you for posting this picture. I saw it awhile ago and didn't save it. It's perfect

White belt on the ground, it's laughable. Haha tier of laughable

He didn't kill the Man Show, Adam and Jimmy left. It was dead at that point. It's not like Joe Rogan called up Comedy Central headquarters and was like, "Hey, why don't you let me and my drunk friend take over that successful show that two much funnier guys than us are doing?".

Honest question, why is his podcast so long?
Does he actually think people want to listen to him talk about random things with literally who's for 3 hours every day?
How does he not get bored of it himself?

I started listening to a handful of podcasts recently, before this I only listen to Bill Burr's

I could not believe looking at that, I thought it was a typo. This fucking guy has the most popular podcast in the world and it's 3 hours long not once a week, no, but 4-5 times a week. Literally 15 hours a week of this guy.

How the fuck do people even listen to this much of one guy's podcasts? Like Bill Burr now does 2 hours a week, 2 one hour podcasts, and I feel like that's enough. Pardon My take has about 3 hours a week, 3 1 hour episodes, and that feels like it's enough.

Dan Carlin's hardcore history podcast comes out once every 6 months and is 3-4 hours long, but those are years of history boiled down to a single podcast so the length is expected

HOW DOES HE DO 3 HOURS EVERY FUCKING DAY

>HOW DOES HE DO 3 HOURS EVERY FUCKING DAY

You've never smoked weed, have you?

makes me feel like i have people around me hanging out and having a conversation with me..

train by day joe rogan podcast all day

>mfw

Iktfb

I used to watch podcasts all day, but I got tired of them. Bill Burr stopped being as good and only like Joe Rogan when he has a good guest. I'll probably start listening to some every now and then again though so I don't kill myself out of boredom

i cant just watch them. i'm usually playing vidya or doing something while i listen.

This is the best version of this meme.

From what I've gathered, podcasts are for sad sacks with no friends. Am I missing the mark?

yes

fuck off

no U

Take Alpha Brain daily and 3 bananas

have anyone actuallu tried any of his supplements

Alpha Brain is ok but it isnt as good as other nootropic stacks for half the price