I hate shitting in public

I hate shitting in public

I feel you. It's extra painful because shitting is such a great time in the comfort of your own home.

I like when I only have to wizz, and you hear some "asshole" hit a solid note in a stall, and you just start clapping. A solid authentic applause. Then wash hands and exit quietly.

im not allowed to shit at home

my wife gets all mad at the smell

i go to the local mcdonalds to shit

you get use to it after a while

i never shit in public

doing something like ops pic wouldn't even cross my mind

i'd rather have my bowels explode inside my body

once i was abroad for a week and didn't ever take a shit

Well sir, the chivalrous thing to do is crap away from your sig other. A woman should never smell your shit in a house you share. That said, my wife is Dutch, and I like to remind her of that every once in a while.

Fucking idiots. Ever heard of squatting?

have you noticed an increase in odour coinciding with her menstruation cycle?

Bro your public toilet nest technique is garbage. Your dick can still touch the rim in front. I like to fold a piece of paper lengthwise and slip it under the lid so it's jammed between the lid and the rim. I use the paper to lift the rim and place it underneath.

And where's your butt-splash absorber? Start off by flushing the toilet (with a piece of toilet paper), then wipe down the entire seat. (You don't want random specks of other people's pee soaking through your nest) and use that paper to throw into the bowl so your shit doesn't splash toilet water back up into your rectum.

Then do the rim thing, then finish off the rest of the nest.

All the places I would squat would likely be illegal. So I have to wait until 3 in the morning to drop a steamy coiler on my target property. And that is inconvenient.

Damn kill your life it sucks

Cuck

A few years ago I worked in a department store and noticed on a few occasions that someone would do what OP had done in the staff toilets for other people.

After taking his shit, he would leave paper on the seat for the next guy. I have no idea who it was but I used his work a few times.

And you are a fucking pussy and the rest lime you

No no no. Just squat over the toilet when you take a shit. So no part of your body ever makes contact with the toilet. Been doing it in public restrooms for as long as I can remember.

Have you tried not shitting in public?

Yeah dude. Seriously
Married, known my wife for 18 years. Here's my advice to you. It's a 60/40 split. Know when it's your turn to be the 60 or be the 40. But you need to get a home that isn't near a fucking mcdicks, and not be a poor fag. If that's your washroom, you need to re evaluate life.

is your name derrick by chance

No. Close but no cigar.

nbd
stepdad is named derrick, known my mom for 18 years, always talks about 60/40 and uses the phrase re-evaluate a lot, just thought itd be funny if I found him posting on here

Ever hear of a courtesy flush? Congrats, now you can poop at home.

Now, that came from my best friend... Who knows where before. But it's right. Sometimes it really fucking sucks. But, it's the right thing to do. Of course, here's the magic trick. I fucking hate laundry. So... Stop doing it. She has to. I can look like her hobo... Or she can do my laundry. But it goes 2 ways... So play it well.

I feel ya bro. When I was a kid I had to use to women's bathroom because my mom was scared a man was gonna rape me in the men's bathroom. So one day in Walmart I had to shit so bad I ran into the women's bathroom. A girl said "you know this is the girls bathroom right?" To seem like a dummy, i ran to the men's bathroom. But it was too late. I shitted everywhere. Missed the toilet and everything. Thank god it wasn't in public

Ever heard of a FEAR flush? Yeah... It just keeps going... You don't break push, you hit the lever, you grit your teeth as your balls are exposed to to the vacuum below, and you brace yourself because it isn't stopping.

On top of the rim?

I fart on mine its fucking great.

Reference Dutch oven

Fuck man i get so nervous when i got to shit in public. I mean how do people have the confedence to just go in there and let it all out literally? I admire those few but personaly i shit when someone flushes so nobody hears me.

That's because you're a faggot. You're afraid if you expose your ass in public, youll let a dick inside.

...

no that's not it

i don't even do it in a hotel room if i'm on a trip

i can't take a shit the same day i've talked to someone

it's true, i realize it sounds insane but it's true

Next time, OP. save yourself some time and get a bunch of these

But yeah, theres nothing like shitting at home. I never shit outside my house
Feelsbadman

you have mental issues,
go see a psychotherapist

That actually looks like a comfy shit spot

can't afford it, and they would just drug the shit out of me until i'm a fucking wreck anyway

instead of messing around with paper, you could have one of those hygiene sprays with you and just spray the seat and wait for 2 minutes untill it works properly

You need to put paper on the water aswell, or the water will splash in your butt, and will make a plop noise too, lelelele

I hate being in public.

You missed wiping your ass.

I shit in public when the alternative is shitting at a friend's or relative's. No way am I risking that.

Put one on the water surface to avoid splash-back