Can you guys list the most morbid jokes you know

Can you guys list the most morbid jokes you know

What's the difference between a river guide and a cat fish?

One lives in the river, has whiskers and smells.

The others a fish.

What do you call a gay pride parade in Russia?
An Exicution

Doctor delivering a baby, after a difficult procedure, finally pulls the baby out of the mother. After a sigh of relief, the mother notices the doctor looking at the baby strangely.

The doctor then takes the baby and chucks it across the room. He then rushes to the baby and begins stomping on it. Picks it up and begins stabbing it repeatedly while looking at the mother with an evil smile.

The mother, horrified, screams "what are you doing?!?!?!". The doctor chuckles, throws the baby back to the mother and says "Just kidding...it was already dead when it came out of you".

What's the difference between a nigger and a dead baby? I don't eat niggers.

Ok.
"You die" Hahaha

The next president of the United Snakes will be an aged sociopath.

...

What's black and steals?

A Nigger.

...

>next
when hasn't the president been an aged sociopath?

Whats 13 inches long and makes women scream in pain? Crib death

What's an activity that 9/10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

How do you fit 100 jews in a Volkswagen Beetle?

Two in the front. Two in the back. And 96 in the ashtray.

Q: how many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: five!

There was a rabbi of great faith sailing on a boat when along came a terrible storm.

The boat was destroyed and the rabbi didn't know how to swim.

He soon began to drown but kept faith that God would save him.

A man on another boat came by and offered to save the rabbi, but the rabbi declined, "God will save me instead". The boat sailed away.

Shortly thereafter a large ship came by and the crew offered to throw the rabbi a life raft. Again, the rabbi declined, "God will save me instead"

Then, a helicopter fly past, shined a spotlight on the rabbi, and threw a rope ladder to the rabbi, "God will save me instead".

The rabbi drowned.

When the rabbi passed to the afterlife he asked God, "I am a man of great faith, why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "Oh shut up you fucking jew"

What do you an exploding nigger?

A COCOA PUFF!

President Hillary Clinton

Q: What online dating site do rednecks use?

A: ancestry.com

lost

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:None, cause they can't change anything

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

None, they just beat the room for being black.

Did your hear the one about the baby with AIDS?

Haha it never gets old...

What's the difference between babies and sand?

You can't unload sand from a truck with a pitch fork

What do you call slavery, institutionalised racism and segregation?

A good start.

what's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

the wheelchair

Sand with a pitch fork? Maybe hay, or something, but not fucking sand... Jesus

How do you pick up Jewish Girls?

With a Shovel and a Bucket.

gr8 b8 m8

You are retarded, that's the point

how do you get a jewish girls number?

roll up her sleeve

What's the difference between an Illegal Mexican and a Nigger.

I don't have ten Dead illegal Mexicans in my back yard.

How can i make a highway with niggers?
>put the niggers on the road
>You smile
>you don´t
>you smile...

What's the difference between my erection and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari.

What green and has 31 tits in it?

The dumpster behind the breast cancer clinic

What's the difference between a Dead Baby and Roses?

I don't have any Roses buried in my front yard.

>hey you, yes you, look down right now, literally right now, do you like what you see? No, so tomorrow, do something about it!

What's black and green and hanging in my backyard?

My nigger, and I'll paint him any color I want.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a 5 Year Old without friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking, after a house fire.

My favourite pickup line

Hey, wanna know how hung I am?
Her: ???
Like I a black guy in Mississipi

What do you call a nigger on the moon?
Problems

What do you call a bunch of niggers on the moon?
Some Problems

What do you call all the niggers on the moon?
Problems solved

haha I bet you get all the girls.

What do you call a game of soccer played by a bunch of midgets?
Fusball

What's better than swinging a baby in circles around your head on a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

A Nigger with an IQ of 120
Santa Clause
The Tooth Fairy, and a Blonde Girl -

are all on a Train, with a Blonde Girl, they go through a Tunnel and it's pitch black, when they get out of the Tunnel, the girl notices her purse is missing.

She freaks out and calls 911, a Police man comes, and she explains who was on the train car with her.

The cop tells her, "Mam you left your purse at home."

When she gets home, ,there's her purse. She phones up the cop and says, "How did you know the nigger didn't do it."

The cop says, "Silly bitch, Niggers with IQ's over 80 don't exist."

Poor sandy hook victims, they wanted books but all they got were magazines...

wat?

What's better than a pile of dead babies? One in the middle is alive and has to eat it's way out

how do you make a baby cry? Drop it. How do you make it stop crying? Drop it again.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, you don't need lights when you have a glass ceiling

Black lives Matter.

Women deserve equal pay

How do you pick up a Syrian girl? Piece by piece.

How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dust pan.

Ayyy Gretchenfag

HL3 took longer to develop than Sandy Hook students' lives

what did one skellington say to the other skellington (she was a girl)?

i wanna bone u

sandy hook didn't happen so your joke is invalid

What do you get when you put a piece of Ham up your nose?

A HamBooger

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Niggers.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he wants.

The guy says, "I want all of my drinks on the house."

Bartender tells him to get fucked.

Guy says, you pick any guy in the bar and I'll kick his ass, if I do, drinks are on the house."

Bartender scopes around. Picks this Bruce Lee mother fucker.

Guy takes the dude outside, kicks hours ass.

Bartender honors bet.

Next night same thing. This time the bartender picks a big solid Mexican.

Guy takes him out back... Kicks his ass.

Bartender gets pissed, but keeps his word. "ill show this fucker" he says

Next night the bartender puts a gorilla in the bathroom.

Guy walks in. "yeah yeah same bet...got a good one for ya, he's in the pisser."

Guy goes to pisser. Whole bar starts shaking, glasses breaking, screaming. The bartender is laughing his ass off. All of a sudden the door to the bathroom slams open, the back door opens and closes. The guy comes out, out of breath and covered in blood... He walks to the bar, downs a shot and says, "tell that nigger if he wants his fur coat, its in the dumpster out back.

a skellington goes to the cemetary with a lightstick and dances

the ghost says whats going on

skellington says i thought this was a raveyard

a skellington goes to the doctor

the doctor says whats wrong skellington

skellington says i have a bad chest

doctor says how do you know

skellington says i keep coffin

Kek

a skellington went to see an adam sandler film

mid way through the film he left and went to the ticket counter to ask for a refund

why do you want a refund skellington, said the ticket man

do my ribs look tickled to you said skellington

no said ticket man

no they don't look tickled

oh christ

Kek'd but saw something similar coming

...

fuck. that almost made me laugh.

wat

Whats worse
Having a nigger pound you in the ass?
Or dying of AIDS?

Trick question, either way you die of AIDS.

William Howard Taft
FDR
Dwight Eisenhower
none was as aged, none was a sociopath

...

too fucking far

Sam??

I bet this guy is the life of the party... and he probably gets laid a ton.... I bet this guy doesn't jerk of to Traps and only save the pics that don't show Penis, because he knows that would be Super Gay.

one day a boy was walking on the beach and he saw a skellington

oh no said the boy

i wonder if this is a murder scene said the boy

i should probably call the police at once said the boy

stop standing over me and get out of my sun said the skellington

i need the calcium you see, for my bones

you stole that joke from jaden smith

Don't forget the nigger-freeing Lincoln

(^:

Yes it's me Sam Pepper, how did you know?

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a hotel window

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

No no no
it takes one feminist to screw it in, she waits for the world to revolve around her...

Ouch, man ouch.... that's fuck'd up. Too far. too far, also I kek'd

How do you kill 20 flies at once?
Hit an Ethiopian kid in the face with a flyswatter

What's the worst part about fucking a dead baby?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

A rabbi and a priest are sitting on a park bench and a 9 year old boy walks by. Priest says "Lets fuck that kid" The rabbi replies "out of what?"

underrated post

>It takes one feminist to screw it in
>She waits for the world to revolve around her
>None, because Feminist can't change anything
>Either answer is actually None, because the bulb never gets screwed in either way
>Feminist can't change anything
>Feminist can't
>Niggers

kill yourself, summerfag

>You smile
>You don't
>You smile...

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with implants?
One is a busty crustacean and the other is
>go fuck yourself

Checkd

wat

a skellington invited his skellington girl over for a bit of skelly pumpy

unfortunately the skellington slept in the top bunk of bunk beds and in the lower bunk was his 5 year old little skellington brother who was asleep

listen said the skellington to his girl

when you want me to go faster say the ocean is so nice and when you want me to go deeper say i love the breeze

so they did it and the girl skellington said the ocean is so nice the ocean is so nice i love the breeze i love the breeze the ocean is so nice

then from the bottom bunk the little skellington said can you please stop making sandcastles the sand is falling on my face

(skellingtons ejaculate powder)

...

>What do you call a bunch of white guys running down a mountain?
An avalanche.
>What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a mountain?
A landslide.
>What do you call a bunch of niggers running down a mountain?
A jailbreak.

>God makes his first black man
>"Oops, I burnt one"

How do you start a rave in ethiopia

Staple a piece of bread to the roof