Does anyone else watch prison documentaries and think about how cozy jail might be...

Does anyone else watch prison documentaries and think about how cozy jail might be? Just chilling by yourself and not worrying about anything?
>inb4 the whole rape thing

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Only rape if you're in fucked up prisons.
Some prisons are cozy and then other prisons have really loud monkeys running around everywhere.

I live in Canada, and I wish I could live the way fucking inmates do. I should be so lucky to get to eat what they eat. To work in a prison kitchen where I live you must be a qualified red seal chef.

Access to three meals a day, free books, entertainment, education, dental, health, heat, people coming to visit you from the community, trying their hardest to tell you it's not your fault at all.

And when you get out, there are dozens of "right to work" groups trying to rehabilitate you with good honest work that I can't fucking get with my education and qualifications

Knew a guy who needed some serious dental work done, so he broke a few windows and got 6 months in a minimum security facility, and got $10,000 worth of dental work for free

What a fucking retarded system

would prefer a psych ward over prison, you could just go catatonic in bed or batshit crazy in groups/community area to score some prized meds.

Jail isn't like the stereotypical fun in the shower us prison in Europe nz and Aus sure you get the dirty men or warnings but gen pop ain't to bad normally one to a cell c devision is cosey as shit mainly for snitches and sex offenders then you have PC and solitude.

snitches get stitches

How sheltered does one have to be to say something this naïve?????

Mt BIL is in prison. They play Dungeons and Dragons all the time... sounds so fun.

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Been to jail never wanna go back mainly cuz it's waste of time n money. Op is a autistic retard.

An old friend stayed a year in in prison. He said it's not as bad as poeple think.

>boring
>can't tell if it's day or night half the time in holding
>food sucks
>books are okay
>oldjailfags only wanna watch the history channel
>there's always a large group of idiots/compulsive liars around you

Jail sucks bro.

Lol that jail is right up the highway from me Sup Forumsro

if you dont like em just kill em

I'd rather not, I'm not the strongest person either. Last time I was in jail I just ate ramen out of a cup and got my bail reduced the next day.

I missed 1 month of payments somehow, 50 dollars, they thought it'd be fair to make my bond 5k. I got it lowered to 2500k.

If you wanna know exactly what I did, I walked out of a gas station drunk without paying for 2 tallboys, worth a total of 3 dollars.

I'm confused, what's holding? Weren't u in a jail cell with somebody else.

When I got arrested they took me to station then put me and my homeboy in the lil cell with other people after like 30 mins they took us to metro and that when they did the procedure and put me in cell I was only there for a day my homie stayed for a week cuz they couldn't confirm his adress.

USA? They tag you for anything for that I'd get 100 hours of community service over here

Was this ur first crime? They went easy on me cuz it was first time.

Are you black?

I spent 10 days in jail, the judge thought it was lenient.

Then I spent two more on a failure to appear.

Three petty crimes, class C-A misdemeanors. Only went to court for 2 of them.

Yeah, the states, 20 hr community service was included in the shit they made me do.

Did 3 years in a US prison. First off, unless you're a violent offender doing a decent amount of time, you'll probably be in a dorm. But it's just hit or miss. I got into a primarily white dorm, got a tv on my bunk and read all day.

But some dorms are filled with loud niggers who steal and fight.

It was fairly cozy though.

No, in fact I was surprised they even had a black cell block in our county jail. I literally never see black people here except for the jail.

School I went to was 100% caucasian, I have no idea where they're from.

Yeah 20 hours and 10 inside sounds about right least it wasn't a long stretch like 10 years or so some places come down hard to make a point

It was just a taste of the inside.

My best friend from highschool went to prison for 2 years, he came back with a lot of stories of the inside.

I wouldnt survive in jail. I'd kill myself before i ever go in

My old man didn't talk much about the inside he did six months so not a long stretch but his next door neighbor was warned with a needle over drug expenses since he was in a devision where it was one to a cell and a row of 20 two sides 4 stories

Trips checked. And also, kek.

Jail isn't to bad in Europe and the other side, best bet is PC or solitude

Meh, my friend would tell me shit like, "I freaked out a bunch of niggers the other day, after chasing them with a worm in the garden I ate the worm, fuckin niggers" or something to that extent.

Being in jail really dialed in his racism.

Fuuuuck, you amerifags are so fucked with locking up people and punishing the poor with all these fines and shit..

Sucks to be you. Move to a better western nation.

Yeah prison changes people

I'm white from South Africa. I'd definitely commit suicide if I had to go to an average prison. It would be exactly like a horror movie. With definite aids.

No vidya tho. That's a deal breaker for me.

Yep the gangs rape you with a Aids carrier to punish disobidiance

Only time I got arrested it went down like this. Yes this was in Alabama.

>Driving, spark up a blunt.
>Round the bend, OH SHIT, roadblock/sobriety checkpoint bullshit.
>"How much marijuana you smoked today son?"
>"None"
>"bullshit, I'm gettin high just standing here"
>"OK yeah I smoked some"
>"pull over there and cut off the engine son"

>Taken to jail in different county (didnt realize this was a thing at the time, I just thought I was fucked).
>Cool cops let me call my bro to come get my car so they didnt have to impound it.

>Taken to jail
>Handcuffed my ankle to the bottom of a fucking, no lie, backseat taken from an suv, just sitting in some small ass office, with a couple other kids stopped at that roadblock, all ankle cuffed to the bottom of some fucking backseat from some old ass suv.
>One kid just gets let off bec. his grandmother called the sheriff (small town here).
>I never get fingerprinted, or have my photo taken.
>Call sis, she posts bail (200 bucks), I'm outta there in an hour.
>See old bro from high school, now a sheriff deputy he goes "hey user what you been up to?" I say "oh man I was smoking pot" He and all the other cops laugh their asses off, he goes "No I meant what you been up to after high school".

>Go pick up car in gas station parking lot where my bro left it, my half a blunt is still in the cup holder, finish it on my way back home.

>Hire lawyer, 1500 bucks for him to tell me they arrested me in a different county. 6 months later I finally go to court, cop doesnt show up to prosecute, is thrown out.

I either got pretty lucky getting off a dui and possession with no consequences, or pretty fucked spending 1500 on a charge they couldnt have prosecuted in the first place. Oh well, I learned my lesson.

>True story, went through another roadblock a couple weeks after court, same cop, "hey I remember you, you been smoking weed?" (cop buddy behind him goes "whos smoking weed") everyone laughs.

>mexican prisions
Ypu could be living like in paradise or be dead just two days in, its a matter pf how you act

Heard that as a kid and was always fucking terrified lol

Holding is where they stick people who are gonna be in and out, and where they'll stick you before moving you to general population I guess. I asked to be moved to a 'pod' but they kept telling me it was too full back there.

My local jail has a place with 4 beds, and luckily I never had to sleep on the floor.

Sup Forums proving yet again I'm not alone.

Yep so fuck going to s Africa with the car jacking at red lights too

>Car jacking at red lights
>South Africa

Shit nigger that sounds like south Memphis, well, North and West Memphis too. Shit.

Yeah man it's common as fuck there

Meh, it's not too bad to be honest. I did seven years.

Armed hold up?

For real

Yep did work for a flight center was 101 for s Africa tel them to never drive yourself or you'll be jacked taxis dont even stop at red lights

Not exactly, but it was firearms offences. Safe to say I learnt my lesson.

Shit man firearms are always a kick in the arse USA eu or Aus/nz?

youtube.com/watch?v=n9WClv4U5B8

youtube.com/watch?v=qEBjIc-D_0A

love this shit

Britain, mate.

>3 dollars

Michael brown was killed for roughly that amount

youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s

This is jail for you my friend.

Not a single fuck was given.

Yeah Brit laws are tough same as Germany and Aus glad you learnt your lesson

my booty is mine, it belongs to me.
you cannot have my boo-ty

boondocks was so good

Canadian prisons also don't punish sexual acts (as long as its not rape) they freely hand out condoms to inmates and won't punish them for using said condoms.

US prison is awful, the assigned prisoners for kichten only try to make decent food for themselves