I MURDERED HIM, LMAO. DUDES, LET'S GO MURDER YARA AND THEON, FUCK YES! HE HAS NO COCK

I MURDERED HIM, LMAO. DUDES, LET'S GO MURDER YARA AND THEON, FUCK YES! HE HAS NO COCK.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=aKfbSHW9uGA
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandfather_paradox
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Theon: but Yara has been reaving for the last 3 years, where were you?
Ironborn: YEEAAAAHHH!!!
Euron: You have no cock.
Ironborn: YEEAAAAHH!!
Yara: You all know me, and see what I'm capable of. I've commanded you in countless successful raids.
Ironborn: YEEAAAAHH!!
Euron: I killed your ruler. His people (you guys) have been taking lands throughout Westeros, but apparently losing Moat Cailan proves that Balon has done absolutely nothing, so now you should hate him because. Also, my cock is bigger than Theon's.
Ironborn: YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Aeron Greyjoy: Let me drown you so we can wrap this shit up.

LET'S BUILD SOME BOATS AND CATCH THEM, MATES.

Best crown

>>Where's my Niece and Nephew? Let's go murder them
People actually get paid to write this

Make the Iron Islands great again

Lets build some boats and get to Mereen right quick, gents. Don't worry about how long it takes to build a fleet of ships from the surrounding trees. Somehow our fleet of ships will impress the Dragon Queen by their sheer volume, and we will get there within a tv season. Shit, why didn't we cut our trees down before? We could have ruled the seas, for fucks sake!

isnt he supposed to be sexy dude with the devil's charm?

he's just some blundering bloke in the show?

I cringed when he said that.

this writing is offensively bad

their budget cuts are really starting to show

They can just use Littlefinger's teleporter to bring some trees over from other parts of the world

>No Dragon Horn
>No hinting that he is a warlock
>No chests of gold
>No Naga's Ribs
>No plan

No, they're just plain incompetent

>You've done nothing to help the Ironborn, Euron, you've just been doing your own thing and basically been on vacation, living a pirate life.
>...Uh, I have a cock!
>YEAH EURON LEAD US WITH THAT CLEVER WIT!
I don't know how any writer for GoT hasn't been decapitated for incompetency yet.

I hate so much about this show nowadays, but I don't hate the crown. It's simple driftwood. The Ironborn love jewels and whatnot, but when it comes to their religion and identity, they favor base symbols of the ocean.

They forgot to write in Ser Illyn and replaced him with meme-Bronn so there's no one to do it now.

>mfw no basic mouth-to-mouth/cpr after he was drowned

So I guess the drowned god exists after all and he just spends his time reviving ironiggers.

That's why the ironborn have never been a threat. Every time they've been defeated and had their ships burnt they just go "let's build a fleet!" and then the rest of the kingdom have a decade of peace while they scour their shitty little isles for some non-rotten wood.

That kind of makes sense tbf. Ironborn are a bunch of stupid sea niggers.

If you'd read the books you'd know that this is in fact the case.

So another house extinct, unless Theon grows his cock back

Make "Top Gun" out of twigs.

youtube.com/watch?v=aKfbSHW9uGA

GREYJOY BY NAME, JOYFUL BY NATURE! AHARHARHAR!

>Yara has enough support to literally take the entire Greyjoy fleet, the largest source of power for the Iron Islands
>Doesn't have enough support to win a little kingsmoot
BRAVO D&D

They're stupid, but they shouldn't be THAT stupid.
>"Your dick's all retarded, and you talk like a fag"
Euron should have at least done something clever. Instead he admits to full blown regicide and for some reason everyone is A-OK with that because ??????? yet Theon and Yara were able to steal a fuckload of ships, so obviously the Ironborn were pretty divided, yet that wasn't shown at all during the Kingsmoot. They just cheered Euron on for insulting Theon for knowing a word and being a survivor of torture.

And my friends insist I'm a "harsh critic", fucking god.

Except in the books the priests do perform the old version of resuscitation, and most people aren't even drowned properly but just have some water splashed in their face because everyone doesn't survive the true drownings.

Something clever like pull out a fucking dragonhorn maybe so he backs up his dramatic plan and titles.

Instead of looking like a drunk hobo having delusions of grandeur, like how can non book readers take him seriously at this point especially when he gets his fleet stolen the next scene.

In book four Aeron seemed to resurrect people just fine.
Unless I remember if wrong after six years. That's a possibility.

To be fair Balon was actually pretty despised by his people in the books, so Euron admitting that was actually the better part of his speech that wasn't "lol I got a cock"

>everyone is A-OK with that because ???????
Because he has the best plan.

Well to be fair, the Driftwood Crown literally IS made of driftwood.

I honestly couldn't tell whether they meant that she took the whole fleet, or if we were meant to see the fleet and notice that the best ships were gone. Either way is quite stupid, because if they only lost the best ships then why build new ones. They're fucking ironborn. Pay the iron price for some new ships along the way.

She took off with like three boatloads of people in a panicked state. How the fuck did they have enough sway to take the whole fleet. Everything about their scene was saying that they were fleeing for their lives aboard a ship or maybe two, not taking so many that the ironborn would feel the need to build new ones.

Nah I think you're right
From the wiki of Ice and Fire

"Clergymen, called drowned men, are drowned a second time in earnest and brought back to life with a crude form of cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Not all men are successfully revived, however."

His line of "Let's go murder Theon and Yara" reminded me of that South Park episode where Butters escape the kennel. "Let's go murder one of these other dogs..." it's cartoon-levels of evil and just funny how stupid it was.

That horn will never happen in the show. "No one gets Kelly C's dragons!!111! Girl Power! xDDD"

Euron didn't kill Balon in the books, right? I know he fell off a bridge there too, but I don't think Euron admitted to doing it ever.

The popular theory is that a faceless man killed Balon in the books, because he cameback few days after. But one commissioned by him, yeah

>because he cameback few days after.

Because Euron* came back few days after

Wasn't it connected to Neil's magic? The three leeches for three kings?

Something still had to do the actual killing, it's not like Melisandre had a Death Note.

>what is dead may never die

Arent these guys supposed to align with undead or at least the fire god who resurrects people.

Fucking phone, Meli's magic.

Where in the books is Balon despised?? There might have been instances where inconsequential people talked shit, like they always do. But the Ironborn didn't despise him at all.

All white men are evil pigs now. Unless they're getting cucked.

None of her magic is consistent though.

They're a bunch of pirates that are pretending to be properly feudal. A strongman coming up and getting in by being loud, convincing and appealing to all the traditionalists that don't want a woman makes enough sense. Because that's what they want.

Their own god can resurrect people.

is he related to Alfie irl, they look very similar

Maybe the leeches somehow affected the events, after all every others worked, but they worked in "normal" ways like they would have died anyway without the ritual
We don't really know

COME ON GUYS MAKE THEON PAY THE IRON PRICE

How long do they intend to keep this tomfoolery up?

He did kill him. But he didn't go full retard and proclaim that he did it, because kinslaying is actually a thing in the books.

Seriously, why the fuck did D&D remove the kinslaying aspect from the show when it's such a big thing in the books? It's part of multiple character's motivation for not killing someone.

And he paid him with a dragon egg

No. All Melly did was look into her flames and saw that the kings would die. Then she made it look like her spell was the cause.

>A woman will never lead the Ironborn
>I paid the Iron Price for this throne
>Now let's build lots of ships and use them like currency to buy our way into serving a woman
>YEAH! EURON KING!

Fucking Ironcucks I swear to R'hllor

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandfather_paradox

DAILY REMINDER THIS IS NOW GOT CANON

GOD BLESS D AND B

Not only he proclaimed it but is first act as king was to try to kill the rest of his family
That was Dorne-tier

> Trump fans shaking their heads when a local arrogant strongman populist rises to lead
Top wew

I was right about to bring up kinslaying in response to I feel like they brought it up earlier in the show and then just decided to ditch it because it made things "too complicated" for them and their crayon-wielding writers.

Why do you think he killed him? Again I thought it was always kind of an uncertainty. Though his impeccable timing of showing up just after it happens is suspicious.

Trips for the Lord of Light

The actor playing Ser Illyn got cancer

But Hold the Door is GRRM's plan according to the behind the scenes material

Nah m8. She used three leeches for three specific kings to die and they died.

Whenever there's time travel in fiction there'll always be someone to complain.
It's impossible to not fall into a paradox or two.

Why do the Ironborn think they are hot shit? Their best warriors got scared away by a couple of dogs and a shirtless dude. You clearly see they suck at this whole war thing.

For the board is dark and full of digits

And they couldn't replace him, even though they replaced Gregor twice.
Oh well. At least we got ourselves Bad Pussy out of it. Illyn wouldn't have wooed the ladies like that.

Fuck off and die you old hag. No-one believes in your bullshit.

I went downtown and now my peepee smells like poopoo lol

Show's beyond redemption now lad, even /r/gameofcuckolds is revolting

D&D blunder of the age

Why the fuck do the show writers not get murdering your own blood was one of the worst things you could do in the middle ages?

Hey remember when kinslaying was a massive unforgivable taboo

Because they're iron islanders, if you can be convincing and they decide they want you then you can always, as he did. Say "lol I paid the iron price for it"

It's all a matter of being convincing and being the right person that is liked well enough. It's a pseudo-feudal viking society where he killed an unpopular king. The bit where he said lets murder them was a bit fucked but I imagine he was surrounded by his most loyal inner circle at that point.

Because the iron niggaz live by the sword and take what they want

So did Yara take a few ships or the entire fleet?

DABEED WHAT IF

Why did none of the ironborn call bullshit on paying the gold price for their new ships, rather than taking the ships the had left and stealing themselves some better ones on their way to Mereen? Dude just waltzed in and promised to lead everyone to glory, and now you're going to sit around for months/years constructing ships like some mainland bitches?

Please don't tell me we were meant to believe Yara sailed off with everything except some skiffs.

the moment stannis roasted shireen for better weather was the moment all bets on kinslaying went off.

Parents and siblings are killed off left and right, without any consequences whatsoever.

the justification is always "he was a cunt and noone liked him anyway" and everyone just rolls with it.

>wanting inferior mainland ships

what does make sense in the show?

Wait till Davos learned the truth, then hes gonna cut off the red womans head

> muh medieval knowledge
It depended on culture, mate. Muslims and Turkic cultures tended to kill a lot of potential threats when a new leader was crowned. In Europe, succession was guaranteed with sending brothers to monasteries, making them generals (high risk of dying) etc.

The Ironborn are savages. Their culture values strongmen over codified rules. Just because you have an illusion of what medieval culture was, the writing is not shit.

Roose siding with the Lannisters.

>that is liked well enough
>when he's been off and everyone thought he'd gone mad in a storm and died until just a few minutes ago
>his most loyal inner circle
>when he just fucking arrived


In the books it made perfect sense that they'd follow him. He didn't proclaim to have committed a massive taboo, but instead brought with him more exotic riches than his sister had ever brought home from her reaving, AND he showed some magic shit off. THAT is the kind of shit iron islanders would follow.

Him going "yo what up I've got a big cock, and oh yeah I killed my brother so what?" is NOT being convincing, in any fucking way.

>dude who cares if it only takes two months to reach Mereen on ship
>I'm sure we can build an entire fleet and get there before them

>three episodes later his legitimized bastard marries a suspected regicide and wanted traitor

good job dabid

>Culture based on Nordic vikings
>values strongmen over codified rules

Yeah no.

Why does ISIS think its hot shit? Why do Trump fans think they are smart? Why do Marxists think they understand economics?

They aren't just bad. They're so bad, that they can't recognize it.

It's said that Aeron never failed to resuscitate
So either he's very good at CPR or the Drown God exists and favours him

Reminder that Pike is the only Iron Island

>the writing is not shit.
gonna have to disagree with you there pat

>I come back from kicking ass across the sea and you faggots are thinking about following a bitch or her eunuch brother? The fuck is wrong with you idiots?

But in the show and books its explicitly shown before this that Ironborn value merits and promise of strength over lineage, rationality or obedience. Also, Vikings were not exacly known as the law obeying kind.

the ironborn are totally shit but like in a funny way.

its cool and dumb at the same time the way the crowning ceremony involves drowning their king and waiting to see if he'll wake up.

they probably all smell like fish too

Yeah, I have no idea why they had to change it all so drastically compared to the books. They could've at least have had that one fat guy who was a fookin legend of the Iron Isles and would've easily won if ge could actually stand up.

How can he learn the truth? Nobody knows of the burning of Shireen except for Stannis' men and they all ran off or died.

Stupid fucking show Stannis poor Dillane

There have been 4 Gregors now though.

>not sexy
>no blue lips
>no eyepatch
That's just wrong

i want to fuck that boat bitch that theon was fucking in the boat, way back in time

half of them are like "No, fuck having a woman" a bunch of the others are happy to take whoever is the biggest strongman around, and the rest fucked off with Yara. Yes it could have been done better but consider that their entire culture is "we take what we want from whoever" and he proclaims he did just that, to an unpopular king in opposition to a lukewarm at best heir.

most if not all of the most well known viking rulers are strongmen that served in the Varangian guard.

>4 Gregors
Fine, replaced him three times.