You wake up to laughter from outside of your room

You wake up to laughter from outside of your room

I walk in with my Dick out

I start to do the Tony Tony Tuck.

cast Phelps' Gold Medal of Depth

Hide boner check. Roll is last 2 digits for d100

> 12

You walk out of your room with a raging boner and your brother notices.

The laughing stops and you immediately teleport to an unknown land with nothing but barren wasteland. Your dick is out.

Give us a setting. Is this a real life setting? Or are we in some kind of fantasy world? Sci-fi? Some background, man! Can't just drop you in knowing nothing. Even amnesia campaigns give you some context.

Which one are we going with?

Bumping

Seems op abandoned. Need a new dm

No I don't.

I'm back
It was starting out in your own room. but now you're in a whole new world. Some place that you don't know how to get back from. The only thing you can do is explore and find a way back home.

Id like to take a look at my surroundings. D100 perception check

I cast Magic Missile at the darkness

i jerk off until someone finds me

once someone finds me i try and hidethe fact that i was jerking off

Gonna need a sleight-of-hand check for putting your dick away unseen.

I break both my legs

You climb a tree, but can't get as high as you wanted to. You look all around you. There is a tree in the distance that looks like an elder tree. Of long ago these trees were just the size of regular tree, but now they are so old they have developed consciousness and know everything there is yo know about the forest. This tree can be seen from far away in the distance. It may take a while to walk to this location. In the opposite direction you see an old abandoned windmill that is in embers. Recently been burned down. Beyond that you can see a battle taking place you cannot see you is fighting, but you can hear the cries of men in that direction. There is a river separating you from the ancient tree that is coming from a large mountain.

jerk off in the river

You walk over to the river and jump in. Then you start jerking off. You see a man running from the battle you had seen followed by men on horseback. It appears these men are hunting that man down. You are not seen.

You are approached by a giant carp.

SUDDENLY

A wild demigorgon appears

jerk off on it

Hide check. D100 roll

Oh shit. Rolled a 1

>That critical miss

Jump out and yell "What's the meaning of this shenaniaganery" while still jerking off

I grab the nearest numerically named short-haired minx and destroy dat vag till she kills it with her mind

The Giant carp leaves you alone. and continues down river.

Make a Dex check.

You try to hide by diving under water, but you can't swim and drown.

Follow the Carp, all while jerking off

Shouldn't it be a grapple followed by Con?

Well, guess I need to roll up a new character

Yeah thats what I meant.

The carp gives you the succ.

newfag teleports in using spell Obamas Immigration Policy

>hows my dubs