Well guys, I shared this story last night, and I'm sure most of you missed it...

Well guys, I shared this story last night, and I'm sure most of you missed it, and a lot of people in the thread loved the story. It's not a bamboozle or joke of any sort, and it's all pre-typed this time. I hope you all enjoy this story if you missed it last night, you'll be feeling by the end of it, that I can promise you.

I've been feeling pretty remorseful lately, and I thought I'd share the story of my life with you guys. No, this is not a troll, a bamboozle, or anything of the sort. This is the true, 100% legit story of everything that has happened to me worth noting that turned me into the self-loathing antisocial human I am today.
Everything started for me in middle school. Everything before this was pretty normal, some minor bullying here and there, but nothing too bad.
>Be me, 12
>First year of middle school, 6th grade (small town, so middle school had 6/7/8 instead of normal 7/8)
>Smarter than most, very good with pretty much everything
>Breeze through classes no problem, not too many friends but whatever, it was cool. I had seven or eight kids I associated with.
>Chill with them all the time, pretty fun. Would play videogames on the weekend with them all the time, generally a pretty happy kid.
>Then, met a girl, call her Anna
>Knew of her, never spoke to her until a school band concert.
>She played trumpet and had a solo, and the song before it her trumpet broke and was unplayable.
>Think quickly, give her mine, she nails it and I'm suddenly the hero, felt pretty great.
>Talk to her after the show, get my trumpet back, etc.
>"Wow user, what quick thinking, how nice of you!" Then, and I'll never forget this, "You're a saint!"
>At this point, I didn't know it, but I was falling for her hard.
>Brunette, a little shorter than me, and a smile that would light up the whole room.
>I had never really had any feelings for a girl before this, and I knew this was special
>No spaghetti, talked to her like a normal human and went on my way after talking
>Got her phone number the next day
>Texted for about two months before I figured out how I felt and told her
>"Oh user that's so sweet etc. etc."
>"...but I don't feel the same way"
>Felt bad, knew I was in too deep to just drop it all of a sudden.
Continuing momentarily.

no one gives a shit about your story. kill yourself.

OP again, continuation. If everything had stopped here, maybe life wouldn't be the way it is. Sadly, it didn't.
>Couldn't just stop all these feelings for Anna
>Continued talking to her, hiding my continued feelings
>Actually friends with her, I was surprised
>The aforementioned group of friends had little to say about her, may not have even known, I can't remember. One guy had moved away though to a new state.
>Four more months pass, and I come to a realization
>I love this girl, everything about her. Head over heels in love with her.
>Eventually muster up the courage to tell her this, absolutely terrified as you can imagine.
>"user, I thought this was over. I don't feel anything for you whatsoever, maybe not even as friends. Just drop it."
>I was crushed, completely devastated
This is where things begin to go downhill.
>I was sort of out of it for a while, I'll never forget it
>The smart, happy-go-lucky, funny kid was quickly changed.
>I was constantly aloof and melancholy suddenly, my spirits were destoryed. I was heartbroken, at the ripe old age of 12.
Still more to come, plenty more.

OP here, feels good to get this off my chest and share my story.
>Heartbroken, as I said
>Losing faith in other people, I trusted her with everything
>Start talking to group of friends, and everyone else, less
>Then came the day she backstabbed me. This is where things go from bad to worse.
I'll never forget this time in my life. I was humiliated, mocked, and morally destroyed.
>She was dating the Chad of the grade.
>I hated him. With a passion. So arrogant, so great at everything, so...gifted. I was jealous, I now realize. Of everything he had that I didn't...mostly Anna.
>She told him at one point that I loved her, not sure why.
>Being 6th grade, this spread like wildfire. Everybody knew.
>I was a joke now. I was mocked, beaten, degraded to an unbelievable degree for two years of my life. Two. Fucking. Years.
>Everyday, everyone had something to say about it.
>"Hey user, how's Anna? HA! Not like you'd know. I'll ask Chad."
>"I heard Chad and Anna fucked last night! How's THAT feel, faggot?"
>Like shit, actually. It was the first time in my life I had felt this way.
>Nobody cared about how much I changed. About how I hated school now. Or life in general, for that matter.
>I went from being loved by most to everyone hating me. It was unbelievable.
>Now I was "that kid" to the rest of the school.
>Weird, awkward, anybody paired with me would throw a fit about having to be associated with me.
>Still somehow three friends from the group left, call them Sean, Matt, and Jared.
>I thought we'd be bros for life...that would change, but that comes later.
This is where I started to lose interest in everything.

OP here. Not much changed from all this through 8th grade, so I'll spare the details. To sum it up, the bullying continued relentlessly and I stuck with my bros. Then, high school started.
>Freshman year of highschool, now 15.
Mind you, I'm completely socially inept from all the bullying. I trusted nobody except for Sean, Matt, and Jared. The only exception would be if I truly felt someone was warm-hearted, I would give them a chance. This would ultimately backfire.
>Still in band
>Bullying has slowed down and is far less frequent, but the damage had been done. I was destroyed from it.
>Sean, Matt, and Jared become my only lifelines to reality, I had cut off communications entirely with Anna at this point.
>Go to school, go through classes, go home, be sad.
>That was life for a long, long time.
>Halfway through the year though, I met another girl. Call her Tricia (Trisha).
>Didn't think much at first, but felt like I could trust her a little, cut some slack but never opened up to her.
>Then, something changed in Sean.
>He was the best bro you could ever ask for, the shirt off his back type of guy. Now, he wasn't the same.
>We questioned him, and he relented for a while before coming clean.
>He's a druggie and a dealer now and has lost control.
>My best friend of my best friends, now nothing.
>He cuts us off, we cut him off.
>Things aren't the same anymore. I missed him. Hell, I still do. He was just caught in the wrong stuff and was too weak to fight it.
>Now down to two IRL friends.
I met two people my age online around this point, and we still talk occasionally even to today. They're great people, but even now I can't trust anyone. They're not pertinent to the story though.

OP, now down to 2 friends, Matt and Jared. Tricia is still in the mix, not talking much yet though.
>Summer break comes, play vidya with Jared and Mat quite a bit.
>Out of nowhere, Matt starts to associate with us less and less.
>By the end of the summer, contact was completely lost with him. Two of my best friends just...gone. And I fully blame myself for it all.
I forgot to mention this earlier, but Jared is extremely stupid. Borderline retarded, maybe he even was. I genuinely don't know. I almost felt like a guardian to him, so innocent in the world. But we were still best friends.
>Start to talk to Tricia a little more at this point
>We share all of the same interests-like, ALL of them.
>It was like we were made for each other, and I could finally open up to her. For the first time in almost four years, I trusted somebody new. It felt good, almost normal.
>Sophomore year starts, usual bullying and such, not nearly as bad as before. Never as bad as before.
>Now that I think about it, I was happier and over Anna at this point, and actually wasn't angry at Chad anymore. Maybe because he and Anna split, I don't know.
>Talking to Tricia a lot now
You can tell where this is going. I was not the smartest in this stuff.
>Also met another girl through Tricia, purely platonic though, just a genuinely sweet person, Natalie. One of the few good people.
>Falling for Tricia, not too hard though.
>Figure fuck it, why not ask her out and see what happens?
>Ask her out in the nicest way possible, wanted this to work.
The feels are coming soon, boys.

wasting my time reading this shit

OP.
>Ask Tricia out, really want her to be first gf.
>Never went on a date, let alone kissed a girl or had a gf...still haven't, if I'm being fully honest.
>"Ohhhhh user, that's so sweet...but I don't feel the same way. Can we be friends though?"
>Thankfully I wasn't in too deep (yet), and was okay with this.
I was pushed a little further into my shell, and stuck with my three remaining friends: Jared (he was my best friend, I couldn't lose him like I did Sean and Matt), Natalie (one of the only people actually nice to me), and Tricia (she was really special to me still).
>Actually thought I had moved on from her and talked to another girl, call her Alexis. She had the personality of a block of Gouda, but she had the nicest ass and wore see-through pants all the time to show off her lacy thongs. It was incredible, but didn't have too many feelings for her, just kinda wanted someone with a body like that. Shallow and pathetic, I know.
>Shot down, but I was expecting it and okay for the most part.
>Further and further into my shell, only people that mattered were my three friends. I went to school, got good grades, went home, and contemplated life. I was unhappy again at this point, except when talking to Tricia. I was falling for her, this time harder.
More to come, close to halfway at this point.

Feel free to screencap this, last night's came out pretty pixelated after I looked at it, no biggie though, I still appreciate the user that did it.
>Summer after sophomore year, still talking to friends, but unhappy still.
>Try everything-vacations, new hobbies, anything and everything to be happy. Nothing works.
>Talking to Tricia more than the others, she was starting to become the only light of hope in my pitiful life.
I don't know if she could tel, but I'm sure she at least had the thought of me still being into her. Who knows though.
>Ask Tricia out again, offer her anything she wants to go to-movie, racetrack (she liked cars and racing, not many girls share that), anything at all.
>Not as bad as the Anna incident, but still more invested than earlier.
>Shot down again, still wanted to be friends. She was caring like that.
>Agree, still friends at this point.
>School starts up again, junior year, maybe things will be different?
More coming folks, getting closer by the post.

OP here.
>Enter junior year, hardest one yet, need to impress colleges and such.
>Getting more and more miserable by the day, starting to despise school and most everything else.
>About three months into the year, still talking to Tricia and Natalie, suddenly now Jared is acting strange and talking to me less.
>Knew things were going to go south with him, braced for it.
>He introduces me to a new circle of friends, have trouble getting comfortable, but have enough faith in Jared that these must be good people.
>Actually social and somewhat happier for about a month, begin to trust them, give them rides places, etc. etc. Seemed to be real friends finally.
>Then, things changed, Quickly. All of a sudden, I'm the butt of all the jokes and mocked again, when I was nothing but nice to them. Hell, I drove them all two hours to their favorite restaurant, paid for my own meal and all the gas, and didn't even get a thank-you. But I didn't care, I thought they were my friends, I was being used for my kindness to these new people, and that hurt me a lot.
>No longer friends with Jared, he joined them in all this, in their torment.
>After everything I did for him...I couldn't believe it. I was even more shut-in than before. I had 2 friends left now, the girl I was falling for and the girl that was the only person besides Tricia who was still nice to me, probably out of pity.
It really hurts to bring all this back up again.

Continuation of the story by OP here.
>Left with 2 IRL friends, one that I'm falling for immensely that I try to talk to as much as possible, the other the only nice person left to me.
>3/4 of the way through junior year now, despise school with a passion.
>Still smart and getting decent grades, but I'd give it all if I could just interact normally with people.
>Score well on standardized tests, 1240/1600 on SAT and 30/36 on the ACT, both very great scores.
>Still very unhappy, don't want to appear like a bitch to Tricia, talk to Natalie about everything.
>She understands, but there's nothing she can do to help me. I'm not sure there's much that anyone could/can do.
>She's the only person that I can talk to about how I feel, which helps a little bit, kept me from completely losing it.
>Falling harder for Tricia by the day, she could have told me to do anything and it'd be done in a heartbeat.
>Begins to start asking me to do things, feel on top of the world that I can help her
>"Hey user, can have a ride to so-and-so's house?" or "Hey, could you bring me something from [local restaurant or something]?"
>Of course, I did it thanklessly, I thought this was her way of showing she might like me, by having me do all this for her.
More coming, story starting to wrap up here.

OP here again.
>Eventually, realize my true feelings for Tricia
>After all these years of torment, degrading, and distrust, I've finally fallen in love again
>Happy at finally having the tiniest shred of hope here, as I thought she had some feelings for me
>Handled this differetly than I did Anna though, didn't confess that I loved her, as I knew that would not work out well.
>Told her I felt very strongly for her, gelt we'd be great together, and how incredible of a person she was and how much I wanted to be in a relationship with her.
This was the breaking point where everything began to crumble, almost to the state it is at now.
>She flips shit on me, rants on and on about how pitiful I am, how she only talked to me out of pity, what a pain in the ass I was, what a loser I was, etc.
>I was heartbroken again. I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I had lost my dignity years ago, the last of my best friends six months ago, and couldn't handle anything.
>School year just ended, so I knew summer break would be awful. I thought getting awa from everything would help, so I went to Georgia by myself for some time to see if it would help. Nothing did.
A reminder, everything here is true and not a bamboozle.

OP, just about at the close here. Screencapping continuing I hope? I know others can relate to this story.
>Nothing helps me in this pit of despair.
>Return from Georgia only slightly better than before, the only aid being that I got to see a new part of the country.
>Talking to Natalie fairly constantly now, she's my only lifeline to reality helping me cope with this new state of mind.
>Parents are extremely loving and supportive, but there's nothing they can do. Years of torment and heartbreak among your peers does a lot to the mind, and mine was suffering greatly.
>Want so desprately to talk to Tricia, but know it's a waste of time and energy.
>Begin work to try and ease the pain, keeps me distracted, unless I am tasked to do something by myself, where it haunts me relentlessly.
>Able to hold myself together at work, but still have a hard time trusting anyone there.
>Every day was the same: show up, work 8 hours, fight the urge to jump off the roof or put my head into one of the machines, go home.
>I seriously had nothing to live for at this point, and I strongly considered suicide. Hell, I still do.
Letting you guys know, we're at the modern day. Welcome to the present.

Welcome to the modern day, everyone.
>Be me, 18, about to start senior year of high school
>Losing weight (for the better) due to little to no appetite, no longer able to be happy, completely secluded from others.
>I only talk to one person anymore, and that's Natalie. She's all I have left.
>On the off chance I'm not sad, then I feel just empty and as if there's nothing whatsoever.
>In all honesty, what is there? I'm a sad, lonely, hopeless loser who's only ever wanted to be normal.

That's all I've ever asked. I just want to be able to wake up, look outside, and smile. But I can't do that when everything and everyone around me is meaningless. Sure, I have my parents, but in a year I'll be alone, completely and truly alone.

I think my parents know what a mess I am, but they don't know why. Maybe they've guessed, but they're smart people. But it's far too late, and there's nothing they could do for me anyways. Or anything they could have done before, for that matter. It was always out of their control.

I've had every opportunity in the world too. I was smart, funny, and well-liked until Anna. My life is ruined because of it, and I'm left to wallow in this despair I've carried with me for years.

I don't want attention, or pity, or respect, or anything else from anyone. My life isn't "incredible", it isn't "admirable", or anything of the sort. I went from a great person to a pessimistic, self-loathing, piece of shit. I don't deserve any praise or anything. I just feel like sharing this story might help somebody else know there's someone that has it worse or is at least in their shoes.

Natalie still helps me a lot even today, and I can't thank her for enough for everything she's done. She's the best friend I could have asked for in a time like this, and the only person I've ever met that has stood by me. She and my parents are the only people that mean anything whatsoever to me anymore.

oh fuck that's way too long

And that's it for me. That's my story, that's how I became the hermit I am today. Pitiful as it is, I guess that's how things worked out. Hope you enjoyed as much as the people last night did.

please work it out OP. there's always time to get better at anything.

Can i get a TL;DR

tl;dr

live stream your suicide

>Feel free to screencap this
>Screencapping I hope?

>implying it's worth screencapping.

So people liked your story yesterday and you came back today to get some more attention and sympathy. Nice.

As stated, other people might feel better knowing someone else always has it worse than them. I could give a shit what other people think about me on here.

ill read it in a bit.

Man look.
Several months ago I fell hard for this girl.
She was not THAT beautiful, but she made me laugh, our senses of humor were almost the same. She rejected me thrice, felt like shit all the time.
If it weren't for my assignments I'd be seriously depressed, cause at the time I was really pondering whether life is worth, or whether it has a meaning or not.
But come christmas I sat down, had several discussions with strangers and friends alike and ended up with the conclusion that life has the meaning you give it. No purpose, no reason, that's the human fate. But you can create it.
Be what you want to be.
Don't let yourself drown in this shit pool. Swim and live. Get over them. Don't tell everything to anyone, don't bitch/cry all the time. Solve them yourself. But solve them, don't just say things like "oh life is shit I can't handle it".
Fight.

OP your story fucking sucks. You are still a kid... you have no right telling a life story when you havnt even lived it yet.

You are the only one in control of your own happiness user. You can't make girls fall for you by opening up to them. You have to make it a chase. Get hobbies to do in the mean time.
>'Hey user, wanna hang out?'
>no not tonight, I have stuff to do. How about another time?'
Then you will be in their head.
>'what could be more important than me to user?'
Do you see where this is going?

Does anyone have a tl;dr? Bitch OP fell for some girl, girl got some chad in her?

This.

True, you're still young OP. Also, don't open up to them that fast. Take it from this POV, if you're interested in someone, you want to find out about them, see what they're all about. You can't fancy someone for whom you know everything since day 1. Make it a game, let them find out about you.

Sucks, OP, but you're literally 18. Get over it. I'm 26 and have never had a friend in my life.

Don't dwell on the past and just keep moving Sup Forumsro. You can do it.