MEANWHILE IN HOGWARTS Sup Forums

MEANWHILE IN HOGWARTS Sup Forums

PUFF
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R.I.P Cedrick

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FUCKING MUGGLES
/min/ when?

Children, Please Welcome our Guest Speaker who will be discussing "Door Holding AND Time Travel"

What kind of kino would Headmaster Dumbledore like, init?

Bloody hell, my bull Jamal just cucked me in the Slytherin dungeons. Blimey, my little white cawk nevuh stuud a chance!

>tfw you will never be bullied by rich Slytherin sluts for being a hufflepuff faggot

>tfw mum sends an embarrassing howler and everyone stares

Weasley detected, hasn't your mother ever heard of fetus deletus?
Blimey there must be a dozen of you shitting up Gryffindor, costing us housepoints for being retards

>tfw days of Dumbledore making us win every year are over
Nice while it lasted

WELFARUS ENORMOUS, MUFUGGAH

Black could be anywhere

>best student at school
>couldn't even dodge a curse or duel a fat retard

Cedric was useless.

Muggle sympathizers everyone they're probably from Ravenclaw to fucking degenerates

>no prayer room
>Griffindor dormitory isn't facing towards Meccah
>Hijab is not mandatory part of the girls' uniform
>no spell to convert non-believers

Hogwarts was pretty islamophobic tbqh

>>no spell to convert non-believers
What? They definitely had a spell to blow things up.

SHIIIEETT

Now Now you have a place for those type of teachings

>literally called Bombarda

>Prisoners are Muslim
>Guards are wearing Burqa

this is a slytherin false flag post

weird and creepy

like a young snape

That was made up by the retarded moviemakers, in the books the spell is Confringo and Expulso

Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Didn't read lol

Reminder that Hufflefag's golden boy has lost quidditch matches to his gf and to Draco fucking Malfoy

Nice try, Draco.

>not recognizing that pasta just from the thumbnail
hello Sup Forumseddit

>yfw when you realize that the only reason Cedric got into the Tournament is affirmative action

I bet the goblins did this.

>Atlas Shrugged

I'd fuck Ermione in her hufflepuff, if you know what I mean, lads.

The Twins are alright. In fact it's mainly the youngest two that suck.

spot on mate

>>user, cuckboy supreme, tries to sneak into the girls dormitory to steal some of hermoine's well-worn socks

Them the magic slide that the prude founders installed activates and you get thrown back into the common room.

well in this story, user has figured out a charm that allows him to sneak past it.

however, he couldn't sneak past hermoine.

user on the bottom, inside of her shoe, underneath her sole, getting stepped on repeatedly by her sexy foot, because he was a horny gryffindor student who tried to sneak into the girl's dormitory.

Oh fuck the Emmacucks arrived. I can smell the doritos remains in their neckbeards.

>fetus deletus

you can't have a harry potter thread without a bit of hermoine worship. it's always been this way and there's nothing wrong with it.

>fetus deletus

you owe me a new pair of sides m8

She's overrated as fuck and an annoying feministic whore, not the kind of girls Sup Forums should worship. /hp/ is Luna's domain.

Pasta alert

There's a snake in ma boot!

>not becoming pals with cucks ape and brewing love potions and that luck potion all day

no shit
thats why you're a fan of low IQ trash like HP and game of thrones nerd lmao

i said HERMOINE worship, not emma watson.

i grew up with a crush on hermoine. for 8 movies i dreamed about being in hogwarts and having her as my gf. i dreamed about how pretty her feet must be.

i have no connection to emma watson. it's all hermoine

also, LOL at redditjanny deleting my post. my post was perfectly fine.

Molly was right to keep popping out kids, look how they turned out:

>Super handsome genius head boy that scored veela pussy
>Dragon expert and quidditch superstar
>Genius head boy
>Twins that were known as the funniest guys in school, were actually magical geniuses in their own way, also quidditch superstars
>Girl that was said to be a 10/10, got to be one of Slughorn's favorites despite being from a poor family, became a quidditch pro and got the chosen dick

Her only mistake was not aborting Ron

But Hermione is just like Emma, a boring, bullying, hysteric, loudmouthed, small-minded, self-righteous SJW normie bitch.

>tfw blackmailed Professor Flitwick with pictures of him on a gay cruise ship at a squib poz party and got him to teach me the anti glisseo spell so I've been going into the girls dormitory and having orgies with all the sexually frustrated 10/10 Gryffindors

Hermoine is black.

Without Ron the chess match wouldn't have been won and Voldy would have come back inside the school and nuked all the students that weren't Slytherin.

Crucify Molly

i never understood the chess match

why'd he have to sit on the horse, he could have jumped off

Don't talk shit about Ronnie the effing Bear.

Lavender, pls

what is stopping those niggas from brewing the liquid luck and ODing in that shit 24/7????????? xD

my nigga

>being this triggered of a neckbeard
Truly hilarious she's a goddess

No senpai emma is great

Which is funnier, Wizard People Dear Reader or the dramatic reading of My Immortal the Harry Potter fanfiction written by Ebony Dark'Ness Raven Way?

Leave wandkino to me

Neither you fucking fetus

I didn't listen to the dramatic reading, but no way it's better than WPDR, even if My Immortal is hilarious.

like 2/3rds of My Immortal was a hoax anyway

expensive/rare ingrediants

Remind hogwarts is a character in the half blood prince and its halls engulf the characters in times of stress

...

>cedric died bc harry is a good sport

If Cedric was even slightly competent he could have stunned Wormtail when Babbymort was giving Harry headpain, and prevented the entire war, but no, he just stood there like a retard.

Hufflepuffs are useless.

How did the Harry Potter movies manage to be so much better than every other movie adapted from a young adult novel, minus Hunger Games 1 and maybe Maze Runner? It's seriously impressive, every other series is shit in comparison.

Why did Harry keep telling everyone that Voldemort killed Cedric when it was his retarded sidekick the one who did it?

You're right he couldn't even expelliarmus him. Why was he so aloof in a fucking graveyard.

And why the fuck was a hufflepuff hogwarts' champion. Did the goblet want cedrics dick too

you have no taste
it's that simple kid

>hoax
what? it's just a fanfic

I agree but hunger games 1 is still shit especially shit compared to potter

Haven't seen maze runner don't care to. Its bc theu hired.good dps and directors and actors

wow a free bump

Stop replying to it.

Blow me you fucking faggot.

it's a parody on mary-sues and the tweens who write them

You're a faggot. Hp has brazilian themes things are very tongue and cheek. There's a lot going on the films are very well done.

So the first third was sincere and then the rest was an intended parody?

She got me wand stiff like Petrificus Totalus
Alohamora off her jeans
She's sucking on my phallus
and I'm sipping on my butterbeer

no, it's all a parody

>There's a lot going on the films are very well done
t. a cinema embryo
Just do this board a favor and stay in your game of thrones threads or go back to Sup Forums or /r9k/, kid

...

>Hp has brazilian themes

kill yourself

It's not though, the first few chapters were posted on fanfiction.net by an actual britbongoloid girl.

>no taste
What does this even mean? If user likes some movies and dislikes other than clearly he does have taste.

It's not like there were many better options.

Alright lads, I need a gender switch potion, and antidote, and someone sort of room aphrodisiac spell.

It's all because Dumbledore made Hogwarts a third rate school with shitty incompetent teachers who are either his soldiers or sycophants. Lucius Malfoy tried to sack him so they could make Hogwarts great again, but sadly he failed.

Pic related right you must be a dumb nigger you can't analyse british film. Yeah yates' had orwellian and brazilian themes as well as others. Are you that dumb you cant even pick up on obvious british self deprecation when it stares you in the face. Commit suicide.

Wow pulling game of thrones out of the hat? That shows shit. Congrats you cant appreciate good filmmaking HP has more to offer than most recent films esp those made the last ten years go watch the revenant

>Be Barty Crouch jr
>Kill Mad-Eye Moody
>Assume his identity through polyjuice potion
>Become DatDA teacher at hogwarts
>Teach nearly two fucking semesters of schooling
>Make sure Harry has to enter the triwizard bonanza
>Make sure Harry wins
>All so he can touch the fucking trophy cup

There has to be an easier way of getting Harry to touch a fucking portkey I mean goddamn Crouch jr himself turned the cup into a portkey. Even if it wasn't the right time earlier, when the time came, couldn't he just have turned something else into a portkey and then have Harry touch it after getting his trust?

It's at least an entertaining film series m8, it has about as much philosophical value as the Star Wars series does (read: none). There's nothing wrong with liking it. I just find it odd how the entire Harry Potter series is head and shoulders above other young adult novel adaptations, when you could argue that there are other book series which are much better.

Give me a month

Maze Runner is actually pretty fun to watch, though I kind of turn myself off concerning the plot; I've heard it's too convoluted.

>There's nothing wrong with liking it
low IQ detected

Because if Harry's corpse showed up in the middle of the maze, everyone would blame it on the tournament.

If he suddenly disappeared without a trace the ministry would start a manhunt to find their golden boy.

That chart is so fucked. I don't even know where to begin.

There's a lot more stuff going on in hp than star wars and lotr combined rewatch em.

>Kill Mad-Eye Moody

He just put him in a chest and anally raped him every single night.

Begin by recognizing it as lazy bait.