Tard stories?

Tard stories?
Tard stories.

>be me
>high school
>teacher asks me to take something to another teacher
>head upstairs and hear an ungodly screeching/roaring sound
>see a fat tard running away from his fatter wrangler
>kinda laugh and go into other teacher's room
>as soon as i hand him the note the tard busts in
>wrangler and teacher both try to calm this beast
>he lets out a mighty roar and picks up a desk
>throws it so hard it cracks the wall
>leaves
>teacher sighs and says we need better wranglers

Anyone have the cap of the Supertard greentext?

Nope I could look for it in exchange for keeping this thread alive though

will bump with pepes until that, or I think of one

I mean shit, someone's gotta keep this thread going. Everything else on Sup Forums absolutely sucks right now.

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>be me
>be browsing Sup Forums
>mfw

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I appreciate the bumps, but does anyone have any stories to share?

Happened saturday afternoon at footy.
They let retards play Rugby league on the field.
Everyones cheering them. Im crying with laughter on the inside.
Suspect there's a higher power - hunger games style watching on with monocles and drinking

It's been a while since I've seen one of these threads, bumping for interest

They let tards play rugby? That shit's dangerous.

i be like all potato and stuff.

Dumping what i got

I think I have some more somewhere

I was actually tested for tardism once
normie faggots can't tell the difference

It was touch for the most part. But a few of them were getting into it and tackling and fist bumping the crowd. I wish i took a video or atleast a photo.

lol this shit's for ants

>tested

What'd they do, specifically?

>Be me
>Senior in high school
>Gottapiss.jpeg
>Teacher lets me go
>Wander Halls
>Main Bathroom by entrance
>Friend and some guy walk out
>Cracking up.jep
>"Hey user we tag teamed the toilet
>Kek nasty
>Walk in
>Heavy breathing
>Escaped retard kid at urinal
>Facing me and starts screaming
>Shake your fuckin balls
>Charges me
>Runs
>Guys outside laughing in tears

Is it because you're one of those Irish people who looks suspiciously Down's like?

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> looks like the somme
Kek

Ah, good old Fats. What a legend.

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I was pretty young, I don't know the exact questions, but it started as IQ type stuff, had a few ink blot things, a few "what would you do" scenarios, probably some other stuff I'm forgetting
No, my parents were worried because I hated all the other daycare kids and really liked spinning things

>4000x3204
>lol its for ants

Neal The GLORIOUS!!

haypil

>hated all the other daycare kids
I don't blame you. They must've been irritating. Did you have behavioral issues or was that it?

Any more original stories?

what is tag teaming a toilet? two people peeing in a toilet at the same time?

>escaped retard kid at urinal
did they pee on the retarded kid in a stall and he exited in exhaustion at a urinal?

Fuck you people. All I wanted was to get a good thread for once.

Tag teaming is where multiple people shit in the same toilet then use an entire roll of toilet paper to clog it. After I graduated I heard from through the vine they had to permantly close all the bathroom.

He got away from his tard group and was running around. They admitted to leading him to the bathroom the pantsing him knowing he'd freak and start pissing everywhere and stand around screaming

i got bit on the nose by one but does anyone really wanna hear it?

oh that makes sense now.

if this story
was the prequel to this story
that'd be epic lmao

Hell yeah

I stood there shocked for a moment my brain trying to process his peanut cock pissing on the floor, arms in the air waving while he screamed at me before I turned around and bolted out. They thought it was the funniest thing ever.

This one story

this downs kid carried a plastic whistle around and he would whip it out on people out on the playground at random. he'd say your name and get in your face with a really grumpy look. if he spoke at that point, he would kinda be drooling/spitting on you. sometimes he'd whip out the whistle between classes in the hallways. in the winter time his mucus was just everywhere.

I am a jew

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> be me
> be autist
> be 17 at the time
> at school
> walking to robotics club
> 14 year old lanky autist walks past me
> grabs my hat off my head
> throws it in trash can
> retrieve my had
> go up to him
> "what the fuck man?"
> ignores me
> sucker punch the cunt
> he runs off
> position as alpha autist defended
> never got in trouble for it
> go make robot parts while eating potato wedges with garlic dip
> he left the school a few months after that

Durrrr

>be me
>5th grade
>stuck in class
>teacher is giving her daily lecture on how she's sick and tired of this class
>in comes turd, name was trevor
>trevor smelled bad and had his own corner whenever he went full turd mode
>one day trevor was doing usual turd stuff picking his nose and disrupting class
>teacher comes in "trevor, go into your corner and take your medicine"
>"turd-mode activated"
>trevor starts screeching and throwing stuff around
>teacher "TREVOR STOP THIS NOW"
>im sitting there like
>thisgonbegud.jpg
>trevor begins flipping desks pushing the other students around
>security guards come in
>"maximum turdverload achived"
>trevor starts fighting the security guards
>it took 3 security guards to control him
>he ended up pissing on himself and the guards
>disappears the rest of the year
>everyone forgot about him
end

Not OP, but I got one

>be me
>freshman in highschool
>in Algebra, have to take a dump
>Ask teacher to let me go to the restroom
>restroom is right across from tard HQ
>go in to take a dump
>hear a wailing moaning noise in the restroom
>tard comes up to my stall (there's only one stall)
>tard tries to open,tell him I'm in here
>tard says uhky, then mumbles something incomprehensible
>get out, see tard attempting to take a shit in urinal
>piss everywhere
>gets off of urinal, shit running down legs,starts wailing
>charges at trash can
>couple of tard wranglers come in, and attempt to restrain tard
>tard starts running, manages to get out of bathroom
>tard trips on still pulled down pants
>tard wanglers apprehend him, there's now shit all over the floor and on them from wrestling the tard
>take him to a special restroom

>be 16
>summer job is mcdonalds
>not too terrible since they just made me maintenance day one cause i can lift shit and morning shift is almost entirely chicks
>whole job is 5 hours of lift this move that or various menial chores and tasks like setting the pop machine up or scrub toilets
>apparently some big church group stops at this particular mcdonalds every year on their way across america
>about 500 people in total more or less all for lunch
>learn to handle grill and the drawers a week ahead of time
>first time seeing day shift cause i'm usually gone by 10
>get introduced to my boss for the day over by the drawers and line
>it's a 6' 8" Downy
>well shit, hope he's not too retarded...
>day goes on and he mostly just grunts or says one word sentences to get his meaning across
>busy prepping meat and getting ready
>the rush finally comes and i'm making burgers quicker than i thought humanly possible
>then these chicks come up to order
>9 11/10's and 7 10/10's aryan babes and if I wasn't in a mcdonalds uniform i probably would have asked one out
>chat with them anyway while i make shit
>tard notices them shortly after
"A-a-user! I got...this."
>pushed me aside hard enough i almost go into the fryers
>grabs all the shit i had and moves it way back behind the shelves
>angle makes it so you can chat over the shelves but your whole body neck down is blocked from view
"H-hey! user! Cmere!"
>a little shell shocked cause not only did i barely miss 3rd degree oil burns to my face but he's making fullish sentences
>figure he's gonna do something like shove extra cheese where no one can see or something to try and impress them
"Huh. Huh. Huh."
>i'm pretty sure thats just how he laughs
"user. Looky here!"
>pulls out these film roll containers
>okay.....?
"Huh. Huh. Huh."
>he's barely containing his excitement over these film holders
>cracks one open and its full of something
>can't see it properly but its liquid
>starts pouring them on the burgers

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that's pretty good. one of the retards in my middle school always smelled like piss and powders.

Continue! I need to know!

continued?

Bump keep it alive

Staying alive, staying alive!

>On bus
>go sit down behind some guy
>Tard up ahead starts freaking out
>Tard says stop looking at me and points to guy in front of me
>guy says "I'm just looking at the front of the bus" which he is
>Bitch bus driver says stop looking at the tard and guy says he isn't looking at him
>Guy looks at window and tard continues to freak out
>Bitch bus driver "stop looking at him or youll be kicked off.
>Guy moves to the back of the bus.
>almost to the bus terminal
>Guy forgets his transfer so he goes to the front to get it.
>tard freaks out even harder cause tard is at the front
>worried tard will go into overdrive
>Bitch bus driver says guy is doing it on purpose to get tard riled up.
>we all get off
>Bitch bus driver holds guy to the side and calls security

Thats my story.

Do these count for anything?

Anyone got "The Story of D"

Some tard joins the football team and gets rekt.

BUMP

Open it in a new tab, shit for brains.

Seriously does anyone have anything?

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>be me
>be 5, kindergarten
>for some reason a she-tard is in my class, it's a normal kindergarten class
>i honestly thought the tard was a boy on the first day, until i heard her unfitting feminine name
>fast forward about 3 weeks into the year, and our teacher sets up a sort of supervised workshop where you play with wood and shit
>i'm at the station with my friend jonathan, and this tard walks up to me
>tard smashes a hammer down next to me and shrieks for no reason
>i hear someone cry, the tard turns around and chases the person crying around the room for 5 minutes
>teacher starts screaming at the tard, everyone's visibly shaken
>this tard was removed from public schooling the next wekk

Bump for cont

Dammit people, you're upsetting the tard

>and thats fucking cum what the actual hell
>quietly start freaking
"Huh. Huh. Huh. It's my SECRET sauce."
>try and grab his arm but he makes an actual REEE sound and flails a bit
>have to calm his ass down before he whips cum all over the kitchen
>fuck this i'm not getting cum on me trying to tardwrangle
>leave to go get the manager
>tard shoves me so hard hit the wall so hard i lose a tooth and my scalp got 7 stitches later
>run my ass back to the counter just before he hands them off
>covered in blood and pouring from my mouth so the chicks didn't question it when i told them we messed up that order we'll remake it
"N-n-no! Those are MINE! Take them!"
>retard actually tries to vault over the counter with this tray full of burgers at these girls who just scream and run
>catches the register which is bolted down so he just tumbles
>just sits there and starts screaming and rolling around on the floor
>manager finally comes out of her office to see me covered in blood trying to drag tardy to the backroom while he flails about
>mess gets cleaned up while i get cleaned up in back and tard is in literal timeout in the managers office staring at a corner of the wall
>church group left without paying after during the ruckus
>manager is furious and demands i explain what happened before i can call home for a hospital run
After everything was said and done i got fired but they moved tardy to maintenance away from the food cause they have qouta's to keep for minority and disabled and apparently its him or a wheelchair user for a new maintenance option. As far as i know he still works there.

Sorry. Had to type that up on the phone.

Anymore of these?

Was worth the wait

one off.

Also with that last paragraph, this what fucking liberalism does. Even if you told the cops about what happened probably do nothing about it cause of his tard status.

I knew this tard in elementary school lets call him Jack

>See this retard named jack
>He is at recess eat dirt and scratching his asshole
>I laugh with my buddies and we pick him up and smash him into a metal pole until he stops talking
>Bury kid in the molch near the swing set
>never heard from him again.

Phew

more details with this story please, this is good

Oh shit, content.

>be me
>Went to have breakfast with mom in a restaurant on the beach
>Things are super comfy and I'm relaxed af
>Food was delicious and the waitress brings the check
>we gotta pay 80
>Got only a 100 bill
>Go to the cash register and ask them to exchange it to smaller coins
>"How much do you want?"
>I get hit by autism
>"Just change it to the smallest you got"
>"She unironically gives me the 100 sum in 1 and 5 coins
>Mom gives me the "what the fuck have you done" look
>I count everything and leave 90 for the waitress
>She arrives and doesn't even know what the fuck is that
>"y-yeah I kinda exaggerated"
>"She just silently collects it all and leaves
>Awkwardly leave the place
>I am now too embarrassed to return there

feels like you and the cashier pulled a retard. Shouldn't of taken you literately or asked to confirm it.

You chink or something?

Why don't people just kill these fucks already? Does anyone honestly think that being retarded is fine quality for human life?

Or use them for slaves or something. It's absurd how parents can live with themselves raising these shit-stains, and being happy about it. Just make a new kid. They are doing no one any favors raising a tard.

The parents should be killed too. I wish I lived in a different age fuck.

The teachers and police stArted a search team it took 8 months to find him

There he was in the forrest covered in dirt while eating ants fully naked.

Hhe went full tard mode and tried to stab an officer and he shot him

/end

Most abort when they find out they're about to spawn a tard

>the cashier shouldn't have given out her drawer's coins like that
>everyone saw it as a prank
>and/or as you trying to look flashy
>you should have dropped at least the 100 on the 80 anyways

hahahaha amerifat detected
where dem pads fat boy?

damsun wer u get dez rare pepes man?

They create jobs?

Not defending them, because, well, they literally waste our resources. Population needs a cull anyway. It would help with the whole climate change crisis.

And just to throw an edge out, why not harvest the good organs. Donor list is long these days.

Less vitriol, more stories. Mongoloid.

>Be me
>Inna highschool bathroom taking a leak
>Tard walks in
>Tard unzips far away from me
>Thankcheezitsforthesmallthings
>Continue looking at dick because betafag
>Hear plastic tile being walked upon
>Look up
>See tard one urinal closer
>Might not have liked the color of the urinal
>Assume the position for optimal piss
>scuttle.jpg
>He's now another urinal closer
>Trying to finish up
>Dick won't work
>Ohnu.exe
>Tard is next to my urinal
>Tard is rubbing dick on urinal
>Tard is looking into my soul
>Finally finish
>Wash hands
>Tard has disappeared
>Mfw

I'm sorry fam, that was rude.

why do most tard stories happen in or near bathrooms? is it something about it being a private room that makes em go full retard?

This. That shit's a $16 tip anyway so why no say fuck it and give her the damn thing for the inconvenience.

roddit autist detected

where dem gold medals mane

When I was in high school (mid-to-late 2000's) there was a budget cut in my district that resulted in the "special" facility for mentally handicapped students to shut down and be merged with the normal high school. This meant axing the culinary and (ironically) child development programs and making them into one big padded room for tards.

I knew it was rude to point and laugh so I refrained from doing so, in fact I usually avoided looking at them since they were drooling and looked gross. But one day when I was walking back from lunch I completely lost it when I saw two female attendants trying to move a student from a table-sized wheel chair to a type of swinging seat suspended from the ceiling.

The tard was literally a 500-lb blob with a down-syndrome-esque head attatched with tiny deformed arms and legs hanging uselessly. The women were trying to use some kind of electric hoist to lift him but he was hardly moving. after holding the "lift" button down for 5-6 straight seconds, the unit began to rise its special load. However, after gaining a few inches in lift, the machine's gears or something started slipping and the tard began jerking up and down.

Disgruntled by the sudden disturbance, the blob began making gurgling noises, producing spit bubbles from its mouth. All the while I had been walking towards them (they were at the corner of the hallway where I needed to walk by) and trying to suppress laughter but once the hoist gave out and the blob plopped down on the floor I completely lost control and started laughing very hard. The look of frustration and anguish on the attendant's faces was priceless. This was the first time I really felt like I was gonna go to hell. But after becoming a Sup Forumstard, I feel a little better about myself after watching what goes on here sometimes...

>be me
>Junior year of high school
>Joined choir cause literally a do nothing class
>For some reason tard is in class also
>We start singing and he belts out a string of tard roars and super grunts
>Whole class is kaiokek x10
>My sides are blown to the farthest depths of the universe
>Teacher tells me to stop laughing
>cantstop.jpg
>Get sent to principles office
>Still fucking laughing
And that is how a singing tard got me expelled for a week.

Tard stories aren't funny if the original poster is autistic

Top kek
it should be a law to abort tards
i mean their life is shit your life is shit the people around you lives are shit and the rooms they inhabit smell like shit, why force such a miserable existance upon the world? I mean what the fuck autism/aspergers/bi-polar kids are funny when they fuck up but when tards flip out shit is scary

kek'd

quality, got any more for us user?

Comments aren't funny if they're made by a FUCKING DOWNY ASPIE RETARD.
#rekt

good shit, cont?