Gay Bar thread

Gay Bar thread

youtube.com/watch?v=49rhRF4bkf8

Only post in here if you want to start a nuclear war at the gay bar

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nef have you ever been to a gay bar

...

it's been awhile

how's it going

I'll start a war with gay bars for not letting me in.

I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR GAY BAR GAY BAR
LETS START A WAR

You're a superstar
at the gay bar

Yeah a couple of my lady friends prefer them. Less chance of random dudes creeping on them.

Do you often contemplate suicide?

No.

I am afraid of them

I wish he'd stop contemplating and start attempting

please do not bully my demos thank you

Why?

Do you think someone has something to put in you
at the gay bar gay bar gay bar?

am I talking about dicks or bullets? WHO KNOWS

>>>matsuposters

the thing is normal gay people actually scare the shit out of me

In my experience about a third of the people at gay bars are not actually gay

which leaves the other TWO THIRDS

Really? I find it hard to imagine not thinking how much of a degenerate you are as you scroll through your autistic avatar folder.

Why would you be afraid of fags tho?
Aren't you king of fag mountain?

Yeah. I'm actually very happy with my life right now, believe it or not. Things can only get better.

the user is of great wisdom

it's normie fags that scare me.

no

Yeah, like you could delete your avatar folder and stop posting on Sup Forums and actually get a social life (:

>getting a social life

normie

what, you only bang greasy neckbeard weirdos or something?

Dude, yes! I'm liking this idea.

After almost getting HIV and then overhearing some fag bragging about bringing straight christian friends to a gay bar to expose them to a bear orgy, yes.

One of the reasons I am totally cool with monogamy

Cool with monogamy? Monogamy is very clearly a virtue. A dead virtue, but a virtue nonetheless.

Well, male polygamy is adaptive, but I suppose virtuosity and reproductive viability aren't necessarily related except in the mind of the hardcore realist.

...

...

i'm gonna go eat a pizza

Well, we did have a threesome one time.

make it two

as in, bring one for me

I'd have a threesome, particularly with two people I know already.

It was alright I guess

Maybe it's easier with more dicks, this was FFM

Was kinda hard to pay attention to both.

I mean I'm biased but I can't see how any situation where there's fewer dicks than dick takers is going to work out.

There are limits even to my stamina

honestly the optimal ffm setup in my opinion would be one girl eating the other one out while she gets fugged

sort of a hetero spitroast

That is what we did, but then we reversed positions so the other one got a dicking and a taste of vag too

for when man is tired: lie on back, one girl rides face, other dick.

still though more dudes would be better. Everyone should get dicked.

Or just abuse sex toys, but we had none at hand. It was a spur of the moment thing and we sorta got in trouble, cause we fucked on one of my friend's beds.

I'm not a good person.

if you don't have tactical dildos onhand at all times you are insufficiently prepared tbh

It was a Hallowe'en party and I was dressed as Monster Blood from Goosebumps I think.

I can't quite remember. But dildos were not part of the outfit

You carry the tactical dildo in your asshole, obviously. Man you're bad at this.

It would go against my deep germophobia to take something that was in my ass and to put it in another hole

Also this was before the whole pegging thing.

well if you're gonna be a whiny fuck just wrap it in a condom for storage

I use condoms so rarely this idea never even occurred to me until a few weeks ago, when I saw it in a trap thread

I've literally never used a condom which made for an awkward doctor's appointment earlier this year.

...elaborate

That HIV scare is entirely your own fault

oh right, that

paraphrasing here:
>"Are you sexually active"
>I was
>"What kind of intercourse"
>Um...not straight
>"How many partners"
>a couple
>"did you remember to use a condom"
>yyyyeah about that
She was very, very unhappy with me. I'm clean though.

I KNOW.

>>"What kind of intercourse"
>>Um...not straight
you didn't really have to tell her gay sex right there

I need to remind you from time to time

Unlike me you don't have a crying, endlessly pooping parasite to remind you to be careful

let's plot for a course

Yeah but she was asking specifically for like oral/anal/vaginal I think and I spaghetti'd ok

I haven't been slutty again for awhile though.

intercourse

yeah, that's what I was getting at

you goofball

I know
Just sayin

I'd never actually answered yes to that question before. After I lost my virginity I didn't have another doctor's appointment for, like, a year, so I just said no automatically, and then last year was the first time I decided to whore around.

And actually, I think the doctor may have asked specifically if I had gay sex. It's relevant since the overwhelming majority of HIV transmissions are mtm

believe me your reminding me is going to have no bearing on whether I do that sort of thing again or not

not that I don't respect you or anything but my dick does what it wants

my doctor still thinks i'm a pure little boy

no drinking no pot

I'm not saying your dick shouldn't do what it wants, I'm just saying it should put on knee-pads first

I haven't been to a doctor in probably 10 years.

I just started going to a new doctor this year, not the pediatrician I'd been seeing my entire life. So the new one thinks I'm a foul degenerate.

Technically I'd be handing the knee pads to the other gentleman.

What? You're 23...you seriously didn't go once as a teenager?

oh yeah, maybe that'll be when i come out as a disgusting sinner

The last time I remember going was when I was 16. Also I thought I was 24 but I'm not. Whoops.

>nice to meet you Julian so...any drug or alcohol use
>*pours hip flask out into a nearby plant* NOT TODAY
>how about sex
>I mean some christians don't consider homosexual intercourse to BE sex so all the times I took it up the ass unprotected from a stranger, those are fine right?

man I've done some things

>Also I thought I was 24 but I'm not. Whoops.
how the fuck do you forget your own age dummy

I go see the doctor way more than I should have to

Maybe it's more like those big poofy shoulder pad things that american footballers wear.

tfw I've never had sex with a qt white all-american quarterback

life's rough man

>some christians don't consider homosexual intercourse to BE sex
I haven't heard this one

...

Math is hard

you've got special insides though

>how the fuck do you forget your own age dummy
I do this all the time

You'd have to hand out in the locker room or something

Unfortunately, yeah

Oh it's totally a thing. They construe sex as sort of a privileged word so it only applies to vaginal penetration between a man and women—basically it's only sex if babby can occur. Everything else gets the sodomy label.

Scales you worry me sometimes man

>I haven't heard this one
Serious? It's a thing where girls who don't want to lose their virginity will have anal sex because "it doesn't count"

youtube.com/watch?v=smNAjG2FOPg

You have been visited by the sad clow if you dont subscribe to this channel your friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, and any pets are going to die in their sleep tonight. Nothing can save you from this unless you subscribe

how do you forget a number that only changes every 365 days

sodomy isn't sex

i'm writing this one down

I was too fat in most of high school to slut around in locker rooms and become the twink cumbucket of every relevant sporting team.

For the record, this is the greatest regret of my life.

Christcucks are funny man.

it's the autism

What if you just get a ladle and scoop it all out, then you won't have to worry about it

Same reason I forget what year it is constantly, I almost never need to know

please stop pushing my high school football player button, it's too early for this

>I forget what year it is constantly
?????????????????????????

autism should make you GOOD at math, not terrible

scales did you fix your freezer

My biggest regret is not being born a qt girl

Cause if my insides get scooped out, then they aren't insides any more. They're outsides.

Doesn't work on everyone, though.

I didn't realize that was your button, my b friendo.

I did have sex with a really shredded asian dude but that wasn't really football-y

It's not too late to get on hormones and become nefette.

find someone to give you a piggy back ride

holy shit stop drawing body hair on fur

this is my trigger

...

probably my most prominent fetish.

probably stems from me being smol

I don't have the body for it.
One of the reasons the wife dresses up as Pitou and not me. My body shape / bone structure or whatever is just no where even close to something feminine

Like writing a check and accidentally put 2015 instead of 2016 but it's ok because you can just fill in the gap and it doesn't look like i fucked up

autism has many flavors

no it still makes noises but only every once in a while

scoop em out and eat them

you are a tiny, tiny little man and it is funny for me

makeup is wizardry, neffers

yours seems to manifest as complete unawareness of the world around you

that excuse is only valid for like the first month of a year

some say it's pretty hot

size difference is hot but fortunately most white men are taller than me

I'm in that lucky height range where the dudes I'm into are usually taller than me but women and shitskins usually aren't. It's perfect.

make-up won't alter my body shape

and I'd need plastic surgery to do something about my nose. I almost look like a jewish caricature.

I don't like to eat rotten things

>some say it's pretty hot
It is a little hot

>neffers has a qt jew beak

POST

let the short jokes commence

my dick wants the nonsensical

they didn't have to commence
we were fine talking about fetishes

That is most ideal

~