Useless skills thread

Useless skills thread.
I can do an almost perfect impression of Skeletor.

I can make fart noises by cupping my hands

I can throw popcorn in my mouth at least 15 times without failing

vocaroo that shit

I have a 100% success rate in Freecell.

I have a business degree.

know some basic origami shit, then again bitches love origami

I can live.

I can vibrate my tongue

I can sound like kermit, a demon, a turtle having an orgasm, but the most useless of them all is keep living.

I can vibrate my eyes and wiggle my ears

I can beat Super Mario Bros. in under 6 minutes and I have a high score of 651 in Flappy Bird.

hnnng!

I'm blessed genetically, in the sense that I am handsome and tall. With that being said, I can do nothing about it because I am %100000000000000000000000 beta.

I can throat sing really well. The problem is there's literally no application for that unless I feel like going to Africa, which I don't.

...

What does a turtle having an orgasm sound like.

Sort of like a high-pitched anime gasp.

i can use my feet like hands,usually if i drop something or my hands are full i can open a door or pick something up + i use keys with my feet and shit

i can squirt from the bottom of my tongue.

Galapagos turtle sounds majestic as fuck. Like a dragon who's taking a massive shit. Heard in zoo a couple of years ago.

I can do the best armpit farts known to man, give me a type of fart and I'll blow that shit out from my armpit. The trick is to tense your arms and hand.

>Majestic as fuck
>dragon taking a massive shit
Do i screencap?

I can open the fridge just that little in order to see inside it while the light is still off.

Prove it faggot.

I can bump this thread.

I can always find the source of a pornhub ad and find a free version of it

juggle

My 40+ year old coworker does that on a regular basis.
He also has a farting/poop fetish that terrifies me.

Wat

How can he prove it? Even if it was a video, he could lip sync it.

I call bollocks. No one can keep their hand that steady. You're a liar.

You're of use to us all.

I can solve a Rubik's Cube and I'm bad at almost everything else

Dude i swear. I've mastered it in years of training.

Probably the worst one here but I can do an indistinguishable impresson of physicist Brian Cox

...

This

I can recreate the sound of Spiderman shooting his Web.

Communicate by wet farts.

Man what the hell that's awesome

Really long tongue, can do all those silly tongue bending tricks

Can eat ridiculously spicy restaurant challenge food without a problem

Most useless yet, everything I learned in my 3 years of college because I don't have the funding to finish my degree.