Give me a joke Sup Forums I don't care how shit it is

Give me a joke Sup Forums I don't care how shit it is

My life

A man walks into a bar.
Gets knocked out and is on the flat of his back

A neutron walks into a bar. The neutron asks the employee behind the counter: How much for a beer? The employee replies: For you, no charge!

Bummer. I know them feels, bro

Sup Forums

2 gays are having sex in the shower when the phone rings, 1 gay Say's to the other don't cum till I get back, when he returns he see's cum and shit all over the wall and he asks what happened I asked you to wait the other says I did I farted.

This thread

A lifeguard sees a woman with no arms or legs crying on the beach. He asks her why you cry? She says I've never been hugged. He gives her a hug. She still cries. He asks what you still crying for? She says I've never been kissed. So he gives her a peck on forehead. But again she cries. He asks what he can do to make her stop crying. She says I've never been fucked before. He picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says you're fucked now. Badumtss

René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants a beer. René " I think not" and ceases to exist.

I legitimately lost.
GG user.

Kek

So these two penguins are standing on an iceberg.
One penguin says to the other: You look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The other penguin replies: Who says I'm not?

Yeah dude you got me beat there...

A black guy walks into a bar.

That's the joke. A nigger wouldn't even have enough to buy a glass of water. That's even assuming he's there for a drink and isn't shooting up the place for the bills.

There's this indian walking down the street carrying a bottle in a paper bag under his arm, when he comes across his cousin,
"Saa, what you got in da bag?"
.
"Uhh, got a bottle of wine fur the old lady"
.
"Good trade"

A faggot named OP, lurks into Sup Forums,"wow, imma make a cancerous thread" he says.....

I dreamt I was a muffler last night

...

Yeah, I woke up exhausted

Every thread is cancer.
Get used to it, summerfag

knock knock
its me goku

That reminds of me another joke.

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. But it takes six episodes and a new super Saiyan form.

>How many feminists does it take too screw in a light bulb?
>Just one, she holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her

Best joke in thread

>shoeposting
>2016

A gay guy goes to a night club in Orlando.

He leaves with a new hole in his head. On a board.

what did Cinderella do when she got to the Ball?
she gagged a little

You're telling it wrong.

It goes: A muslim walks into a gay bar in Orlando. Bartender asks what he wants. He says: To give everyone a shot.

have you heard about the man who left his glass eye in the windowsill before going to bed? he wanted to keep an eye on the neigbor

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if it has any luggage. The photon replies "no, I'm travelling light."

Haha that one got me

A young lady came into the store the other day looking for a German method of coal extraction.

Mein Shaft she got!!!

Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?

Because his wife is dead.

youre own self, faget

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking, after a house fire.

i finally had anal sex!

it was shitty

knock knock
who's there
boo
boo who?
why you cryin?

What do you call an autistic boy who is late to school?

>tardy

Fuck me, I could never deny free pussy, even under those terms....

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered sex offender

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why do you have that steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate says "Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

How do you call a black priest
-holly shit~

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? he didn't have the guts

two biscuits sitting the oven talking to each other
one biscuit says to the other: sure is hot in here
the other biscuit says: HLY SHIT A TALKING BISCUIT

Only real jokes i lost to the rest are shit

I got a good one...
>26 posters

>still 26 posters

What is Nicki Minaj's favorite US state?

Idaho

Were you born on a highway?
Because I hear that's where most accidents happen.

It's "because seven is a registered six offender!"

joke's on you, it was a hot tub.

Savage

What do You call a jewish Pokémon trainer

Ash

Lawl

What happened to the frog when he parked illegally?

He was toad

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A dictator

what do you call op?
>a faggot

...

...

how does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it

Highly underappreciated

Codsworth pls go

what's blue and yellow at the same tiem
green

What do you get when you don't wash under your foreskin?
A Dicktater.

Lol

why does time in Italy go by so quick?
Becuz everywhere you go you see a Dago.

Knock knock
Whos there
9/11
9/11 who
I thought you'd never forget

what do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

...

>cancerous
Sup Forums in one word newfag

why dont witches wear panties?
to grip the broom better

What... please give sauce.

Your penis.

what does a jewish pirate say?

ahoy vey

What's worse than 99 dead babies nailed to one tree?

One live baby nailed to 99 trees.

What's worse than 99 dead babies in a dumpster? The live one at the bottom eating its way out.

What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.