Why is she speaking to me in tongues Sup Forums?

why is she speaking to me in tongues Sup Forums?

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I think shes saying "help me"

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It is obvious that she is

H"E"L"P"M"E is what it spells out

w"H"y would i b"E" sad? i'm comp"L"etely ha"P"py with "M"y boyfri"E"nd

Cause she isn't serious and she isn't happy. Why do you even have to ask

you are an idiot... clearly she wants a dick pic

what do i do then? i just wanted the goss

send her a dick pic

Tell her tits first then help

Clearly this is your only option.

maybe she meant that he "lp'd" her like oh no he lp's me

The fuck is this Marina Joyce?

You offer her your couch to crash on, get her a decent meal, an listen to her talk when she isn't afraid her boyfriend is going to be listening in/reading her messages. Don't offer your advice, just listen to her.
Assuming some real shit is happening, you offer to help her out. Don't offer your advice, just offer your help.
If whatever the issue is can't be worked out without the involvement police, then call the cops yourself and don't give her the option. They'll come to your house and take her statement.

Only offer your advice if she specifically asks for it.

Tell her you vape

i think i'm gonna go with this, post a dick pic for me to send

Your only real options in this situation

Offer her some eggs

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She's probably doing something wierd like making other people roll to decide what she says

Here you go OP

bump

sorry i used one from /soc/

send her this

>I'm a little busy atm

eh that's fair. Lets hope her reply is amusing to us

Oh man that's gonna hurt for days while he's picking out spines.

NICE

you should send another message that says "Hope that helps!"

Dubs of truth! Do it OP!!!

Naw. Tell her if she hops on you'll make her toes curl.

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Woah.

Nice trips

i'm too tired for this i wasn't expecting this

shit my name i forgot to block that

faggot deleted the pic, someone save it?

the key to not getting shit for exposing your name is to not point it out.... dumb faggot....

Keep it up, user. he's eventually going to fuck it up and you need to be the first man she sees when that happens.

>johnny on the spot

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not that important, here it is

lol did you screw uo the first one? lol

inb4 op's friend is trying to call out for help for domestic abuse, op sends dickpic

ops name is rak

yeah but it's whatever, i haven't slept in 24 hours

who are rak and jen?

gotta help her op

The funny thing about this picture is that there's precum

Just waiting for your mother will die response.

fucking kek

>her first question is asking about dick pic instead of freaking out because you sent it

You're in Sup Forumsro. Enjoy your pussy.

Just in case something's up swing by her place for some non-reason OP. Bring a knife with you.
If everything's cool then just enjoy the poontang.

HE LP ME

i spoke in tongues so she can understand me

wouldnt it be easier to call

You're a master of subterfuge OP.

Fellow britfag I see

So basically this chick is getting her face pounded by a bf who reads her text, you just sent her a pic of your dick then spelled it out for him that she's reaching out to others.

guess what

Keep us posted OP.

VOCAROO

Inb4 phone sex

when you call, just start shrieking

called it

kek x2

My side's are in orbit, also check 'em

Why are you texting in code? This isn't a gas station where you have to mouth words. If that bf sees you texting, hes gonna flip anyway.

it is 6:41 in the A M

So go outside

yes please shriek

>wants to be less noticeable
>stands in the middle of the street at 6:41 screaming his lungs out

i got off the call 2 minutes ago but i can call her back and shriek. idk how to vocaroo that tho

So what the fuck was up?

well, i do. but i don't want to

Tell her sorry it took so long, you spilled your water

fuck dude... my sides can only hurt so bad....

What did she say op green text the conversation

holy shit. any of you fag shits who think this is real need to fucking drink a nice bottle of 10w-40

put ur phone on speaker go on PC and vocaroo it then give us the link OK?

her boyfriend knocked her the fuck out at a party, she said it had been going on for a while and she doesn't know what to do lmao

HAHAHA nice

>lmao

tell her the best way to make it better is to sleep with you

CHECKED nigga

HOW THA FUCK DID THIS ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK?!?

You prepared to make and dispose of a body OP?
I'm thinking of ways you can really deal with it best. You don't want this coming back to you you're gonna need to bring lye.

>lmao

>lmao

this, OP do u have any fighting experience? cuz u r gonna have to really fuck up here boyfriend after she sleeps with you

Bumping

Simple: CALL THE FUCKING COPS

what the fuck do you mean?

kek i bet user

How in the hell did OP not get shut down by that chick? My ex would've filed an indecency charge against my ass if i did this

Kek

It worked

They don't do shit.
It's not their fault. They can't hold someone indefinitely on the alleged possibility of violence happening in the future. Best they could do is increase patrols in her area.
Unless the guy gets a real good scare and he abandons ship after the first confrontation, he's going to try shit, probably take it out on her.

Update us OP you slow fucking faggot

Wow this thread is so much fun.

She's probably worried that her BF can get a transcript from the phone company if her BF got her the phone. Don't know if the transcripts are case sensitive but really I think we all know that ship has sailed at this point.

Don't buy her story, OP. She's trying to get you to white knite, or worse, get you squarin' off against her man. Bitches get wet over playing dudes against each other.

At least OP doesn't have to worry about capital punishment with his condition.

This. Get a bat and fuck him up if he does something.