Confess your illegal activities

Confess your illegal activities.

I took 2 grapes from the grocery store.

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I stole over $140k from walgreens

I Accidently a girl who stole cocaine from man.
I done did it.

>Mfw smoke weed
>Mfw everyday

YOUR ACTIVITIES HAVE BEEN REPORTED TO THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES

robbed 480 employees of their pensions investing it in my own shell company and kept their money leaving the retirees with nothing. now i can sit here everyday and there is nothing those plebs can do since im protected by the law.

i downloaded some record albums of music from a file locker thing and did not pay anything

I buy coke sometimes.

I cross the street, even where there's no crosswalk

you guys are fucking disgusting

I go to various mattress stores and remove the tags off of the mattresses.

nice. can you buy me shit on steam?

I ask for a water cup at fast food joints and then I fill them up with:
>Not water

Monster

>I like to take a piss and not put the toilet seat back down.

OP, I used to run with a group of guys that would do just about anything for enough cash. We took a trip to Puerto Rico which is over run with drug addicts something like 3/7 people. We would catch people bringing drugs onto the island and then brand them with a US flag on there left shoulder, destroy the drugs, and send them back to wherever they came.Then one night we found a boat drifting with no drugs just the bodies of like 20 people each with the branding we gave them.

...

I manage to vote in every election and I'm poor.

i press a random floor button as i'm leaving the elevator

do you play cs

I wear socks with sandals

Linus?

Sometimes when I ride my bicycle, I turn right or left without making turnsigns with my hand first.

I stole one cherry from a store once

I used to have sex with this 60 year old woman so my friends go sneak into the house and steal shit.

I used to give handjobs to police officers in order to get drugs they took from people

Jokes on you, all cups of water get the ice tea-bagged.

I'm a faggot,a and I'm not even OP

...

You Acedentaly a girl?
You deserve to get locked up bro

I donated more than $2,700 to a candidate

mah nigga

when I was 12 I would go to the dollar store, steal mentos and then not even eat them. I'd just throw them at walls and stuff. Kids are retarded.

N-no

When we stop someone I know is carrying something, I bypass consent and cuff/search without explaining.

Burn in hell you monster

i fantasize about having sexual relations with little girls in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

You shouldn't girl a with every fast man dumb for every goof, retard

Every time I turn 50, I grab a random person and suck the life out of them, turning me 15. I then assume the identity of a homeless teenager and start life anew. I'm actually over 2000 years old. I was born in Rome during its golden age.

I pirate photoshop

>drank a beer when I was 19
>smoked a weed when I was 17
>got on the train without paying fare
>jaywalked once
>downloaded a movie and game off pirate bay
>answered my phone while driving
>sent a text while driving
>pic related

I'm so sorry

the usual, d/l stuff I don't own for several k $

I stole an iPod touch

i accidentally left the sprinklers running.
in california

I stole your sisters virginity

I pirate everything.
I use illegal prescription ADD drugs to get work done faster.
I make fake USPS shipping labels when I want to ship stuff to wherever.

Time for us to grab our pitchforks and torches for this user... MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER!

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I stole her virginity off of you and sold it to a slut who wanted to be a virgin.

Over my life I've stolen like $4,000 worth of candy and food, kept it up for 2 years until I got caught for the 2nd time and I almost got arrested

I commited a series of rapes using nothing but a tire iron.

I stole a pack of M&M's. Hard to belive that that was only a year ago.

kek

i don't show tits, and i don't gtfo

I stole pencils and pens from high school! True Story!

stole some soda from a store

Everybody won out in the end then. Your sister got her virginity back and everything.

I do drugs

i dont pick up after my dogs poop

Piracy
Talking to underaged girls indecently online
driving with broken tail lights
hacking into other PCs
drugs

I killed a nigger for fun.

i sold your sisters stolen virginity to this guy

I injected Marijuana once

I'm calling bs

When I was a lad I ate 4 dozen eggs every morning

i cancelled breaking bad

I stole some gum then did a rape

I stole a laptop and threw it in the garbage.

omg i graze too. am i go to heck?

i killed Harambe

Yep, few people know that not everyone is gonna' be damned to hell. Most people aren't so bad, so they are gonna' forever be darned to heck. Kind of like life but a bit shittier.

YOU MONSTER

srry i havent done nothing illegal
im reporting u kids to fbi

Once, I have downloaded a music without paying it.

I'm illegal hahah

>You will not upload, post, discuss, request, or link to anything that violates local or United States law.

enjoy your bans everyone!

So am I. I'm in Cuba. They are doing nothing about me being here illegally because I'm gainfully employed.

read
fucking retard lol

Just another day to remind us that b has turned to shit..

>artistic works of fiction and falsehood

I mostly go to house parties when they are dying down at around 3-4AM and start stripping the house of copper wiring. Also take the occasional ipod and ipod dock/speaker and whatever is in the fridge. Can make $350 most weeks enough to buy food and drugs

i killed Harambe

Me too

Are you me?

youtube.com/watch?v=Cdmqn9JIuzc

I had sex with a 20 year old when I was 14 in his car parked near a park, almost got caught as I choked on his cock in the backseat. After I swallowed his cum he gave me weed and let me use both of his Bad Dragon toys, penetrable and dildo at the same time. Good times.

youtube.com/watch?v=eeplVT4qEZc

I once stole candy from the store

>be me
>work as shitty dish washer for tons of asssholes
>get pissed off one day
>decides to make master plan
>The next day I bring in my cum gloves from home to work
>put away clean dishes with cum gloves
>no one notices
I don't know if this is illegal or not (it probably is) but whatever it was a while ago.
Remember Sup Forumsros always ask for your food to go.

candy is serious business. i once killed a guy over a butterfinger

fuck butterfinger

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

lol suddenly i have the urge to fuck a klondike

i stole a bike mid day once

I like these

When I find unattended phones i shitpost on the owners' social media about stale memes.

I bought a water cup, and filled it with coca-cola.

I stole my friends nudes

I just got home from a pretty chill smoke sesh with a bro... We dropped hard and walked around the whole city.

What type of satan is this?

I sold coke and wasn't very good at making money so i used to bully and rob others and then seriously hurt them when i could get no more money