Hello. I am about to blow your mind. I ave a doctorate in theology and have spent my whole life researching the flood...

Hello. I am about to blow your mind. I ave a doctorate in theology and have spent my whole life researching the flood. What I have recently discovered proves the existence of Jesus and the flood with no trace of a doubt. Therefore, it is 100% illogical and unethical to be a nonbeliever. Repent your sins if you are. Praise Jesus. Amen.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_flood_myths
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Fuk u

Quick question, my man: could you pray for me tonight? I've been pissed without reason the last couple of days. Need a strength boost.

I fukin h8 u shag, and u know what! Fuk u!!!!!!!

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are you trolling atheists

Ill pray for u! Ill pray teh gay away

What did you discover?

Sure. Praise Jesus. Amen.

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Proves jesus. Shares world changing facts.... wait for it.... with fucking Sup Forums...?

u know it m8

> Hello. I am about to blow your mind.
Not likely.
> I ave a doctorate in theology and have spent my whole life researching the flood.
I'm sorry. That's a terrible thing to have happened to you. When you find the person responsible, I'll help you kick them in the head.
> What I have recently discovered proves the existence of Jesus and the flood with no trace of a doubt. Therefore, it is 100% illogical and unethical to be a nonbeliever. Repent your sins if you are. Praise Jesus. Amen.
You discovered brain damage.

The proof is that the Bible says so. Amen.

Jesus definitely existed and the flood (a flood at least) absolutely happened due to its appearance in other texts, older texts.

The existence of Jesus and the flood do nothing to prove the divinity of Jesus, so, hey, good luck.

A wild braindamage appears!
Op uses potato

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Flood is believed to be real by scientific community. It is a common myth among mesopotamia area nations, indicating that some shit like proly happened at the end of last ice age, since the water levels have risen dramatically

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I whole heatedly agree with you. Thank you for spreading the word of our Lord and Savior. God Bless You.

Yawn. Send the link to the peer reviewed research youve published on this topic, or go kill yourself.

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Praise Jebus

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Even if the Jeudeo-Christian God exists and is the all-powerful beyond described in the relevant holy texts, he's a compete asshole. I'd rather guarantee myself hell than compromise basic moral principles by worshipping him.

More Spiderman pl0x

Neo-Assyrian clay tablet. Epic of Gilgamesh, Tablet 11: Story of the Flood. Known as the "Flood Tablet".

tis iz n0w a sp0derman thred

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I second that

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I don't understand.

Do you worship Jesus or God?
What religion are you?

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I worship spiderman

Then submit it for peer review and get your Nobel prize and $1,000,000, mammajamma.

Talk is cheap. Proof is in the pudding.

trefology is the only true path

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if you have spent your whole life "researching" the flood, then you'll know it didn't happen.
We have a constant stream on historical documents and evidence of human existence before, during, and after the flood supposedly took place.
The egyptians, the peloponnesians, the sumarians, and the chinese all have records of existing through that timeframe, and leave no mention of getting hit with a shit-ton of water.
You have a doctorate in reinforcing your own confirmation bias because your religion is a scam.
1/10 made me reply

Compelling argument. Bulletproof, really. You must really be proud that you managed to find the keyboard.

But you can hardly type user....can't you type these things out before you post them? Proof read, spell check all that, then copy and paste so we go along with this shit bait just a bit longer.

This is a far better troll topic than the flat earth or atheists threads

10/10 op for being kind of original in your troll.

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Should have taken some English classes faggot.

oh the irony is real

This is an atheist thread. First day on Sup Forums?

>has a doctorate
>cannot spell
kek

>my whole life
All 12 years?

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Hey, it's not easy being 37.

Hello. I am about to mind your blow. I ave a doctorate in spidermanology and have spent my whole wife researching webslinging. What I have recently discovered proves the existence of Stan Lee and the Marvel Comics with no trace of a doubt.

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>existence of Jesus and the flood
1000s of years between events

kek

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take this

Wrong faggot. Almost all ancient civilizations had flood stories.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_flood_myths

underage

yes but they don't share a common point in the time line.
what you just did is another example of confirmation bias.

Well, flooding is an event that can happen anywhere in the world, but 2 fallacies.
1) These don't all sync up chronologically, meaning they were large, but definitely not global, and definitely not at the same time.
2) If there was a global flood, any deity that orchestrated it failed at wiping out the human race because multiple cultures are writing shit down.
your move, faggot

>fallacies
Debatefag

>no rebuttal
idiotfag

Why do Christfags carry such power in American government?

1950s red scare

>fails to solve kritik so it's now part of the status quo
fallacyfag

alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright, but you know that's some confirmation bias-level shit right there tho

>indicating that some shit like proly happened at the end of last ice age. amen

steadfast but very stupid atheist here, i'll piggyback on this guy.

Jesus did exist. No one with intelligence doubts this. There are many accounts which have been verified by historians, dated within 30 years or so of Jesus' death that all speak of the same figure.

The only difference comes in this:

You think an invisible man in the sky with a beard created everything and then tried to destroy all humanity in a giant flood which wouldn't even work because THERE ISN"T ENOUGH FUCKING WATER ON THE PLANET FOR THAT, DIPSHIT.

Fact: The atmosphere contains 37.5 Million Billion: i.e 37500000000000000 gallons of water
Think that's a lot? That is: 0.001 percent of earth's water. In fact, 98.23... you know what? Fuck math. By the power of fermi approximation, if suddenly as if by magic ALL THE FUCKING WATER NOT ON THE SURFACE BECOMES SURFACE WATER...

Da-da-da-da-da!

You get...

fuck it, it just isn't possible.

What was my point?

Oh yeah. I believe there was once a schiophrenic jew who told stories to jews who wandered around in the arid lands of the region around israel who believed his shit and then embelished stories about him because this particular super jew was kind of cool and said crazy shit.

(don't back me nigga i'm not that smart. I just subordinate my judgement to actual scientists)

kek

>no one with intelligence doubts this
...I do. Where's the body. No, seriously, bodies don't defy gravity & leave. Catholics talk about Mary having Jesus in the manger and dodging romans and their censuses, and i'm just sitting here like "Occam's Razor says 'bullshit'"