Serious thread

Serious thread.

Mainly, I want to know how life is different to someone who was severely abused as a child. I need to know this because my best friend was heavily abused as a child, and I don't know to what extent, but "extremely heavily" is the closest I can get to. Rape attempts seem to be a minor part of the abuse, so I'll let you imagine the rest.

What kind of altered core believes do abused people have? Do you feel less motivated or justified to defend yourself, for instance? Do you not give yourself any value? Do you always feel guilty of things imposed on you? Do you feel dirty and ashamed? That sort of stuff.

In return for your introspection and precious information, I will read everything you want to let out.

Let it out, user, even if I'm the only person you'll ever tell what happened to you.

I won't troll you, I won't judge. You will simply know that someone else knows what happened to you. Someone safe. So let it out.

ITT: abuse.

...

...

>impractical for sex
>can never get fully erect or hard much

Shit tier cock.

Sounds rough. I was raped by my neighbor for a month straight when I was 7. 20 now and parents still don't know.

For a month? Holy shit...

I remember most of what happened. Even with that, I came out pretty okay

Were you physically hurt?

How did you get out of this without too much trauma? I'm curious.

That's heavy shit.

There was a lot of abuse in my family. Some of the abused people have had pretty stable lives with good jobs and incomes.

I was abused as well. Trying to put it out of my head and deny it happened has negatively impacted my ability to talk about emotions, and I think it used to affect my memory as well.

Give details on how he was abused.
All the details

Interesting. Would you say your memory is altered in both long and short term memories? Like, do you forget little things easily and/or big things?

It's a she, and I don't have the details. Not entirely sure you could fap to it, no matter how perverted you may be.

At that time I never realized what was happening to me was wrong, I didn't hurt but I remember him making me suck him off.

Luckily we moved to a different city. That's how I got out of that situation.

What are the thoughts of a young kid when this shit happens? I can't imagine.

Well, it's better now, partly because I'm older and because I've been to a therapist.

But I think I got in the habit of suppressing memories back then, because life was shit in general. So it was short term and long term.

Now it's just kind of long term. Well, I don't remember much about my childhood because I don't really try to. I can't remember the last time I reminisced about a time before I was 16.

I was molested and abused by my brother for YEARS growing up. My parents later told me that they knew something was "wrong" but chalked it up to him being mean and me being sensitive.

>Do not speak to brother at all
>I'm distant from my entire family. I'm still cordial with them for the most part, but there is permanent damage there. I cannot help but resent them for not protecting me
>I'm addicted to love. I will do anything for people that show me slight affection. People can use it to manipulate me pretty easily if they recognize it.
>Anger issues - I've worked on this quite a bit but I still struggle to this day. Sometimes the dumbest shit will work me up into a foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy, but not much anymores
>I cheat on my wife. Not because I don't love her, but because I want more love. Sex = love to me and my wife simply cannot keep up with my sex drive and fetishes. My mistress was severely abused for years as well and we connected over that, so it's worked out well. I've been a stabilizing influence in her life and she treats me like a fucking king for the most part.

AMA I guess.

>I've been to a therapist.

Would you mind telling me what happens in a therapy for cases like yours?

I grew up with a lot of emotional abuse by an alcoholic father. There was some physical abuse also but not really so bad. I was made to feel afraid of him all the time and any self confidence I had was stripped from me by my dad. He would humiliate me in front of my friends throughout my teens. This fucked me up pretty bad for awhile. When I was young a lot of hot girls were into me and put it out there, but I was so blinded into thinking I was worthless I didn't realize it until many years later.

Any guilt over the cheating?

This is not something you can fix. Encourage your friend to seek professional help.

Your heart is in the right place, but believe me when I tell you that you are out of your depth.

I didn't have any thoughts.

Got raped 4 times by both uncle and dad, heavily abusive mom, never saw saw the light of day because of severe bruises, always covered in sweaters to hide them
>skip 15 years later
>got a wonderful wife
>2 kids
>dream job as firefighter
life is good man, life is good

Like a deer in headlights?

I know. She basically told me so and I felt sorry for it. She's so important to me I almost wished I had been molested too just to be able to share.

She has a therapist already.

Tons of guilt, yes. My wife is an incredible woman full of kindness and patience. I absolutely would never want to break her heart. It drove me to some pretty self-destructive behavior for a while but it's gotten easier to manage over the years.

tbh the therapy was mostly about dealing with my suicidal thoughts and depression. I didn't bring it up til it was almost over, and when I brought it up my therapist suggested more meetings. But, I think in general what I learned from dealing with suicidal thoughts could be applied. I had done a lot of cognitive belief therapy, and I think that could be applied to any beliefs I might have about myself in relation to it.

But I don't know what a therapist might do in the long term for it, as I didn't have that many more sessions with her. I hope to start up therapy again in a year and find someone else I would feel comfortable talking about it with.

I'm happy to hear you did well. I'm sorry for the past.

> Alone in the elevator
Then whose filming? Illuminati confirmed.

>get a load of this guy

how bout nope

Best thing you can do is be supportive and let her deal with it. I know the urge is to help, but you really can't

Challenge accepted

Here's how it went down.
>be 7
>have older brother
>wanted him to think I was cool (he was 13 at the time)
>I'd always want to hang out with him.
>Went to his friends house (where my raping took place)
>Brother's friend has an older brother
>Brother and friend go play outside, I stay inside.
>Friend's brother asks if I knew what sex was, I say no.
>Takes me to bathroom and proceeds to pull my pants down.
>Raped for 10 minutes (everything was done to me i.e. forced bjs, anal, handjobs etc.)

>I know the urge is to help, but you really can't
>mfw

Who can?

They forcefed her feces from the toilet bowl and then bent both of her elbows backwards. Good luck.

...

Holy shit... I'm sorry. How did you cope then and now?

Cont.
>Brother comes in the apartment again, calling for me.
>Dude tells me to keep my mouth shut or else he'll hurt me and my brother.
>I just wanted to be with my brother and for him to think I was cool, so I kept quiet.
>Go home and next day, brother wants to go to his friends house.
>This time he asks me if I want to go (me thinking that he thought I was cool enough) so I say "lets go"
>Cycle repeats for about 32 days.
>Dude gets more agro with every day that passes.
>Numb by the 20th day.

I don't get it

I coped through being ignorant. I suppressed my memories until I was in my senior year of high school. I broke down in front of my brother and sister.

Yeah my friends gave me some incredibly good advise to get over my dark past
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight

Jesus fuck dude, your desire to impress your brother was enough to make you take it in the ass for a month straight?

Kek, true fam

Goddam... Had no one told you about pedos? I guess 7 is young, but that's the point.

Holy shit, user...

Must be some fucking cool big brother, who doesn't realise his little bro gets raped every day for a fucking month.

It's an inside joke between me and a mate of mine. I just did it so I could send a pic of it to him. He'll get it.

Cont. Pt 3
>It's close to the end of summer, parents working in the fields and a full time night job.
>Fruits aren't blooming, so they decided to move
>Move
>Act like nothing ever happened until I was 17 and a small break down.

Then who's filming
>FTFY
what is a security camera?

...

I was a young Mexican child, no one tells you this shit in that neighborhood. Parents never got past 3rd grade and have been working ever since. Back then, I knew nothing, so I said nothing. I knew that I loved my family and my brother. That's all I ever knew.

I wanted to be like him so bad. He was my hero.

He didn't know, I don't blame him at all.

>Back then, I knew nothing, so I said nothing. I knew that I loved my family and my brother. That's all I ever knew.

This is pretty nicely worded. And I mean it. (I'm a lit major too.)

Do you suffer from side effects today? Apart from the memory thing.

...

All growing up, I was pretty much beat on a daily basis. Early on in my life, this caused me to be violent towards a lot of people and to have quite a bit of anger management issues. Around 7th grade, I was raped in my gym class by a jackass who I will never forget, which taught me to learn the consequences of my actions onto other people.

In the end, I am much more determined now to use the shit I've been through in my life to help out others, but normally, it isn't something I like to talk about.

Does he know about it now?

you sound like a faggot

>Around 7th grade, I was raped in my gym class by a jackass

How old would that be? I'm not too familiar with the American system beyond Southpark.

You sound like a good person as well.

>What kind of altered core believes do abused people have?
None. Anyone who claims otherwise is just seeking for attention.

>Do you feel less motivated or justified to defend yourself, for instance?
What kind of question is that? Self-preservation isn't a conscious act, you fucking moron.

>Do you not give yourself any value?
Define: value

>Do you always feel guilty of things imposed on you?
Define: things
Define: guilty

>Do you feel dirty and ashamed?
Dirty? Why?
The only shame is to read retarded threads, like this one, perpetuating a very twisted understanding of something you think is a way bigger deal than it actually is, just because you saw someone shilling about it on TV.

I was 12 or 13.

>What are security cameras
Since when have security cameras been able to post to snapchat?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Sure, ill throw my hat in.

My mother was born in Mexico City. Her biological father took off on her and her 5 siblings after her mother died. My mother moved in with her grandparents. Her grandfather beat her and sexually demoralized her and one of her brothers so she ran away. From Mexico city she somehow made it to the United States when she was 15 years old (She will never tell me how she did). She married a white gentlemen and applied for her citizenship, she then cheated on her husband with some drug dealer that smuggled large amounts of drugs from Mexico to the United States (he had his own family).. Thats how I was born, she named me after her husband whom wasnt my biological Father. Once he found out, he rightfully left her and filed for divorce. My mother decided to keep his last name and there was nothing he could do about it.
My mother is bisexual and an alcoholic. I didnt have my biological father around...ever. She would drink, get drunk, beat my ass and send me to school. Back in the late 80's early 90's I guess it wasnt something that was really talked about. One time I was beaten with a broom stick until I blacked out because I forgot to feed the cats, I was in the third grade.
My mothers brother, who I refuse to call my uncle moved in with her. More?

Thanks user, I'm a lit major too.
As for any side effects, no not really. I actually came out pretty normal. I don't know how, but I did.

I wouldn't really say I'm a good person though, more so I just want to save others from what I lived through.

Fuck you asshole. Not even the guy you replied to but you sound like a total bitch who was pampered by your parents

I was never abused, but I went through a really damaging relationship to me, and I imagine the results might be somewhat similar.

>lost motivation for majority of stuff, used to be a photographer but dont care enough to so it professionally anymore, etc.
>Cant sleep unless I'm exhausted because of negative thoughts
>Started drinking even though I used to be super straight edge
>suicidal intrusive thoughts, but I dont take them seriously

>My dad died in a car crash when I was 9
>Mom turned into a lonely alcoholic monster
>started beating me
>Have a scar on the back of my head from her hitting me with a lamp once
>one time when I was about 12 and taking a shower she stumbled into the bathroom and basically started molesting me
>I remember being too scared to say anything or run away so I just let it happen
>made me cum
>scarredforlife.jpg
>happened a few more times, started locking the bathroom door
>seemed to solve the problem
>around 15 or so I started drinking her alcohol
>She found on, tried to come at me
>proceeded to beat the fuck out of her with all of my rage
>broke her arm, busted her lip open, kicked the fuck out of her when she was on the ground
>started living with my aunt and uncle afterwards
>loved me, started having a pretty good life

From all of that I'm now an alcoholic, extreme anger issues, depression, utter hatred of humanity. But honestly I didn't turn out that bad, except for the heavy drinking and I'm attracted to older women. Fuck you Freud.

No need to try and stick up for me. I get it a lot. I've learned to ignore it. Especially on this site lol

He knows, hasn't mentioned it for 3 years now. But like I said, he didn't know, it's not his fault.

I'm guessing one effect of being abused must be becoming an invasive cunt on the Internet as you've so eloquently demonstrated in your post.

Abusive parent detected.

I'd respond but you're too fucking retarded.

This is what we say so we can tell the truth. Very few people lie here. There's little value in it.

Damn... Yes, continue.

>I wouldn't really say I'm a good person though, more so I just want to save others from what I lived through.

And that makes you a good person, user. Other people sometimes decide to inflict the same pain on others and get off of it. By contrast, you're definitely amongst the good guys.

If real should go get some professional help, I know it's easier said than done, and I probably wouldnt in your situation because I'm a stubborn cunt.
But you'd be better for it, and no one would think less of you, people are there to help you, so if you can bring yourself to seek the help you absolutely DESERVE, please do, untill then man just take it day by day, we'll all get to the place we want to be eventually.

Don't worry, just felt like pointing out how much of an ignorant dipshit he was. I was slapped around a bit by my step dad but I would never try to pretend I know how rough it can be with a parent whose truly abusive. My dad's had plenty of that from his parents. People don't understand how much that can fuck a kid up. I mean, if you get fucked in the ass as a 25 year old in prison, yeah it fucking sucks, but if you get that as a 6 year old, it can completely change who you are and fuck you up for life.

You still in it? You left?

>and now I'm attracted to older women
Phew do I know that feel

I dated this one aesthetic tumblr hipster in HS who became a complete bitch, rude and elitist and all. That subculture is composed of pretentious elitists too. I fucking hate those people, but for some reason I'm super sexually attracted to them.

Part 2
My mother and her brother drank alot. Eventually, I started fighting in school. I was always taller and broader than everyone else. I was so angry that I fought and fought. Eventually, I was removed from honors. My counselors knew what was up. I would be asked where I got my black eye from, Why my eyes were tired, why I didnt like anyone touching me. It wasnt just the beatings from my mother. When he brother was alone with me, I wont go into details. When he died 6 years ago I was grateful, ill put it that way. One time after a fight my counselor pulled me aside (still in elementary school). She wouldnt let me out of the office until I cracked... And I did eventually. I was taken by CPS and interviewed. I lied, I told them nothing happened at home, I was scared. My mother joins AA and gets alot better. The beatings stop and her brother moves away. It wasnt until I was a teenager that I started getting more violent in fights and starting to cause harm... I was always bigger than everyone else. I started to hurt myself and I eventually had enough and decided to hang myself. Fucking ceiling couldnt handle me, the beam collapsed and I awoke in a mental facility. I told them what they wanted to hear, they prescribed their drugs and I was let go after a couple of weeks.

Damn...

Do you still talk to your mom?

Oldfag here. Groomed as kid before that was a term used, by older guys. Gave me money and made me feel like a grown up. Blocked it out with drink and drugs and ended up a heroin addict. Shit came to a head when it was inject or die so I chose death. Got police to shoot me but survived, kicked the heroin and did therapy (cognitive behavioural). Now I'm ok. Don't try and think about it now and know I'm not a bad person. I work and am married. Life goes on...

Part 3

I discovered bodybuilding. Something about pain and being sore and watching my shoulder broaden even more. I stopped seeing a therapist, I started getting along with my mother and the fighting stopped. Im now 28 and have a fiance and a good relationship with my mother. Honestly, I still have my months when I slip into a depression. I fantasize everyday about driving my car off of the bridge when I am heading home. I fantasize about lying down and taking my 45auto to my temple... everyday I fantasize about dying. Im afraid when I have children that I will harm them, my fiance knows very little, she knows I was harmed, she knows I dont let anyone in, she knows I can fight and she knows deep down... there might be a day to when Ive had enough and ill just end it. She loves me anyway. Thats what its like

That's a hell of a story, friend.

I have a question: in retrospect, what do you think would have helped you the most after all that abuse?

Check part 3

Dubs.

hardcore, man.

Sorry to hear about your troubles man, glad you could move on from them.

Therapy can really help, just wish there wasn't such a stigma around it for younger men especially.

Nope. Changed my phone number, asked my aunt and uncle never to tell her where I live. They hate her so I'm certain they will never tell her. Haven't seen her for about 6 years.

I've tried therapy when I was younger, got put on prozac for a long time. It helped a little but not really

>abusive parent detected
>thread is about abuse

The OP asks a bunch of retarded questions, which he clearly believes to already know all the answers for, after being fed with feminist propaganda about "abuse", and the guy who responds directly and honestly to his idiocy is the one in the wrong?

pic related: both of you

Not the Annon you were replying to, but same here. I was "slapped about a bit" as a kid and I've had a fair few days where I've had to come up with excuses in school for bruises and cuts. But I was never really abused, at least I don't really think it was abuse, not compared to what some kids go through. I can't even imagine what it must be like to get it everyday of your life for your entire childhood. It's gotta fuck you up in the head something fierce.

>which he clearly believes to already know all the answers for

No, but these are things I've been told before, so I ask them to others to see if they answer the same way or the opposite.

> after being fed with feminist propaganda about "abuse"

Most of the abuse I hear about are done by women to children. So much for feminist propaganda.

>the guy who responds directly and honestly to his idiocy is the one in the wrong?

Implying we don't know it's you, you moronic piece of shit.

It's painfully obvious that you feel guilty and you know what you've done.

Why don't you make the thread more interesting by admitting what you've done, for one, and secondly, by trying to explain, and understand, why you did it.

Fair enough m9

Samefagging.

Thanks user. Same stigma applies if you get with a batshit crazy woman that hits you and you're brought up not to hit a woman - been there too but think it's all part of attracting destructive relationships because of what happened.

Wut?

For real bro. I can see it in my Dad, he's always a little nervous and fidgety about stuff. Not so much anymore, but he told me how in his 20s and 30s he used to instinctively flinch when someone around them raised their hand and people would be confused. My step dad would manhandle me or even choke me a few times when he got really pissed but he never actually punched me or used his full force. My mom always got really mad whenever he did something like that, and he would never hit her or anything, thankfully. That's the other thing, witnessing your dad beat up your mom can sometimes be even worse than getting abused yourself.

I'm generally fine with my step dad now, although sometimes he still annoys me with his stubbornness and the fact that he always takes his bad mood out on those around him. But if he ever laid a finger on me again I would clock him as hard as I fucking could

Sold out.

Loved him, though.

True story from work:

>workmate teacher tells anecdote
>about a teenaged boy with long hair in front
>he's generally super lazy and doesn't care about anything
>reads the newspaper during class
>no fucks given
>his parents are super rich, but neglect their kids
>teacher gets upset that he never pays attention
>takes dictionary and lightly bump him on the head with it
>suddenly, kid's eyes open wide with intense rage
>teacher felt like he was going to stand up and beat his shit
>teacher suddenly understands this kid gets beaten at home

Deep shit.

damn...

My dad's punched me in the face before but like you said, he's never used his full force. He's an ex boxer and from what I've heard about him when he was younger, he was the kind that knock guys spark out with one punch.
> scaryshit.jpeg
He's the same as your step dad which the hitting women thing. He would never hit my mom, no matter what. But if he ever did, I'd fucking stab him in the throat.