Hey Sup Forums, I'm feeling rather depressed from a break up, and I need some company

Hey Sup Forums, I'm feeling rather depressed from a break up, and I need some company.

I haven't seen a feels thread in a while, so, feels thread. Post your sad experiences.

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Ok so I had a feels.moment tonight and typed out a long faggotballod of my childhood in 2 feels.thread which each 404d , granted they were hours old.but i will post again and hopefully this doesn't fuck up

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....fuck, man.

Mom had me at a young age, 17. So I spent alot of time living with my grandparents in CA as she stayed home with her parents. I had enrolled in school there, known it as home. Eventually my mom and dad decided to move to AZ, housing cheaper, this was shortly after my brother was born. I was in 1st grade and told my mom I wanted to stay in CA with my friends and Nana and Popy. Money was tight so mom agreed and would visit me during summer. Cousins were living with grandparents after uncle spent time in Fed Prison for cocaine trafficking. They were twins, Eddie and Eric, 8 years older than me. Not the twins that look the same though. Me , my cousins and grandma all had our birthdays in April (this will be somewhat important later in the story). Cousins became rebellious at 16+, although Eric was more of the "mature" one. Eddie eventually moved out at 18 when I was 10 to live with his friends. Eric went into the military at 19. Around 7th grade my gtandma started getting more and more sick. Would often stay in bed. My grandpa started having deep talks with me, telling me I had to become a man and be strong for them. Would often tell me stories of him growing up in the 1940s on a farm with other orphans that served as a home/school. Where they grew their own food, found a random dog and they all had it as a pet, had horses etc. Anyways, grandma always babied me, would give me anything I want and always hugs and kisses kind of thing. Her son moved in with us towards the end of her life, alcoholic , no job, nowhere to go. Never got along with him from the start, never did chores and always complained. Would argue with grandma as she was sick for not letting him take money to pay for speeding tickets. (He had friends in San Jose which was an hour away and would often go back and forth, getting there in 30 minutes speeding through the mountains in Northern Cali).

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Grandma eventually died and things got worse. Grandpa couldn't work anymore and lost his new truck. 8th grade and he had a operation for pneumonia in his lungs. Went on dialysis like grandma so I knew what was coming. Learned how to cook so he wouldn't have and could have some sense of comfort. Although with dialysis had to watch salt, sodium, etc. 8th grade promotion was really hard. Uncle didn't want to take me (it was in our cities media hall, basically a big building where all the concerts were) said it didn't matter and was a waste of time. Kind of agreed. School was down the street and really all anybody cared about was the dance after the promotion from 8pm to 11pm which was dope because no other school had events that late. Anyways girlfriend ain't having it , can't believe I wouldn't want to go. Tells me her parents will take me

"Oh god no please no (embarrassed to ask anyone for help , the faux pas "adult in me") Says they're already on their way. Well fuck. Go anyway, parents have a bbq and cake for gf at her house, her whole family is there. Food is bomb.com Kind of sad seeing how awesome this party is when back at home there's nothing for me because uncle doesn't want to get groceries for my grandpa to plan something.

not really that feelsy but eh
>get new best friend
>feels good and i grow to like them a lot
>we talk like all the time
>she gets back together with her ex boyfriend
>suddenly i'm much less important, we don't talk nearly as often
>hangs out with her boyfriend more than she hangs out with me
>not even trying to get with her, just feels bad man that she's paying less attention to me
>tfw most important person to you doesn't consider you the most important person to them

>Fast forward.

Waking across the stage.

>Oh shit, have no one to look at when I get my little 8th grade promotion"diploma" , state at banner over entrance,

Walk off stage feeling absolutely worthless, like a joke.

Gf's parents give us a ride back to the dance.

Pretty fun but still can't help feeling like shit.

Me and Gf's friends in a group looking at graduation pictures (yeah high school fuck yeah we so dope! xDD)

Walk off and out the building

Gf think I'm mad at her

"Wow really because I talked to Nate about how cool it was he got promoted "

>friend of friend who was failing but barely passed, she thought I was jealous

>no it's not that, I just. I have to go, stay here and have fun. I'm not going home yet so don't come looking for me

>Go to park and throw random shit into lake (Only good thing about Cali is weather and scenery)

>get home later so grandpa doesn't think I missed out on dance , tell him b.s. story about having awesome time with my gf and friends so he doesn't feel bad for me

> Gf shows up after dance at my door, dad outside in truck

Oh fuck.

> "I know why you left, I'm sorry. Your grandpa loves you, I love you, don't forget that. I'm sorry for fighting with you.." Lost our virginity together a week later so silver lining I guess

Feels is code for PMS. It is. I just figured this out. Man up boys. We have this problem monthly.

Fast forward to H.S.

Birthdays , Christmas, were no longer a thing, thanksgiving always was though.
Grandpa had an old school cowboy personality and would make sure we could at least enjoy a turkey. Uncle started arguing with grandpa over will for some ass property in El Salvador would get mad and leave for weeks. No car. 9th grade I usually walked 2 miles to the grocery store to get essentials , often making multiple trips. (Bank was another mile down the road where I could take out money for grandpa) Eventually got to the point where he was in a wheelchair and needed help just getting up and getting dressed. Would wake.up at 6am to help him to the toilet, iron his shirts, make his eggs toast and coffee breakfast. Always wanted it over easy , on top of toast with coffee with 2 teaspoons of sugar and a bit of cream. Eric would save up his leave days to spend all of April with us back home to celebrate all our birthdays in April , even after grandma passed. 15th birthday , gotten used to not caring about one. I understood how money was and it would be selfish to go get gifts if it meant grandpa had to eat corn and fish for a month. Stopped telling friends and putting in social media what my birthday was to help forget.
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This year Eric came up to me and told me to take some steaks out of the freezer. Open it up and see the new GTA V (yes I'm a youngfag but still 18 so suck my dick) hardrive for xbox and some new shoes, wrapped up in a plastic bag. Opened fridge and there was a cake , soda, and some godly filet mignons. Made steaks with mashed potatoes and gravy with some biscuits and cake for desert. Grandpa at dinner , "wow this must be a special day, food looks great user! Eric go tell your brother to come eat" (he had started getting dementia like grandma and forgot Eddie moved out years ago). I was washing dishes and Eric comes up to help, I hug him and start just breaking down crying, he asks if I was that happy for GTA V.

"No, thank you for remembering , thank you for making it feel like a normal birthday" He just hugs me I just let all the bitterness out.
>Fast forward 2 years

>Gang banging and slanging pills and weed , to actually help gramps with bills. Yes like some clicheé Kendrick Jay Z ass song.

Didn't move with mom yet because I couldn't just leave my grandpa with my uncle who didn't really care about him.

Eddie reconciled with grandpa and moved back in to help and things were going pretty nice, was good having some help.

Uncle and me still fighting, fist fights now. Eventually grandpa couldn't hold on anymore and passed away. Would often tell me before he went to sleep that he was going to be going soon, but to not be sad because he was so proud of the man I had become, and so was nana.

Day he dies he was in the hospital , I come home from school and uncle tells me "Popy died, pack your shit you're going on the greyhound to live with your mom. Bus leaves tonight I already bought the ticket"

Mom gets a call from him and finds out. Is fucking pissed

My other uncle drives 4 hours to get me and let me stay with him for a few weeks. Movies and taught me to drive and other fun teen shit. Takes me greyhound when I'm ready and sees me off, even raced with the bus to make me laugh, hell of a guy.

Riding in bus, alone, for 700+ miles with some old Jordan's and a backpack and suitcase with just my Xbox, 20 in tv, and 3 changes of clothes.

No pictures of grandparents because they were all in my grandma's room along with legal documents, baby pictures, THE WILL, etc. Uncle placed a lock while I was at school.

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Come here to AZ, give up gang banging, focus on school , honors, graduate. Make mom and dad proud for how independent, respectful and mature i am. Never complain or want for anything because everything here is so much more than I grew up with me.

Part of me strongly dislikes my siblings for how entitled they are. Complains for not getting newest iPhone / Beats / Xbox.

Audacity to call my parents worse than Hitler when they've successfully moved to a great neighborhood where gang , crime, and drugs aren't part of our lives like it is for literally everyone else in my family. Literally only success story.

Became pretty emotionless, didn't let myself feel anything, lots of childhood friends dead either by gunshots, OD, or even getting run over in a hit and run (how my best friend Richie died after I moved out to AZ with mom, happened my second semester of junior year)

Rarely cry or feel anything aside from hatred and disappointment. Pretty alright with girls cause idgaf if they argue or even cheat, just break up and move on and don't even miss them.

>They all literally come back, eventually , wanting me to want them. Doing anything they can

> usually use it to get anal

Anyways got my first job after graduation , $13 hour. Get up early first day and making breakfast , two eggs over easy, 2 pieces of toast, and 2 cups of coffee.

Mom comes over and asks why I made 2 (she doesn't like eggs or coffee at all)

Tears flowing

> "The other one's for Popy I think"

She doesn't know how to comfort me , never talked about my feelings to anyone, especially parents. Had to be strong , had to be perfect man, for grandma and grandpa.

She holds me and we stand there, strangely reminiscent of my 15th birthday.
I try not to dwell too much on the past. I have no pictures or even phone numbers for old friends in Cali. I essentially just erased that chapter of my life in my head and started all over here in AZ. Occasionally though I'll see something that reminds me of them, certain specific food in the supermarket that I used to cook for them on special occasions, certain old people stores, old songs that they liked. And when it does it takes everything for me to not break down. I have a great life and have done alot for myself. But something inside is still broken. And another part of me doesn't want it to be fixed, because being this way lets me see through all the bull shit in the world. But a part of me also misses being happy. And every day I can't help but look forward to dying. To the day where I'm no more on this planet. To the day I can see nana and popy. And they can see what a fine young man I've become.

The end I guess

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my friends suck. They are either poor, never drink, "quit drinking," or are on meds. all i wanted for tonight was a drinkimg buddy.

Fresh feels from a new realisation
>Why do we all keep coming back to this site?
>Do we enjoy the gore threads? The ylyl's? The traps?
>Or is it because for, maybe the first time in our lives, we have somewhere to go where the door is always open?
>Maybe im just a little extra feelsy, pass the cement?

I'll share one with you user, what'll it be?

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I'm drinking alone too. Not any more I guess

Ah fuck this hit me, fuck

six pack of guinnes blondes. I don't even want to get wasted. I just wanted to drink on a Friday night.

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I'm with you user. There's not much here that i really give a fuck about and when people ask what I did today I'm sure as fuck not going to say I was in the ass hole of the internet. I'll probably just say that I was hanging out with my friends online. I guess it's sad because I don't actually know any of you faggots and I wouldn't even know if I met you in real life, but when I'm here at least I feel like I'm not suffering this shit world completely alone

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tfw

>Be me, been dead inside for years p, recently I decided to be a paramedic , I took the course and pass it, I even cry thinking and listening to the stories the paramedics told, today they told me that I cannot study because a paper that I don't have and should be on Monday and I won't get it in time, I'm felling like shit because I opened my hearth to a dream and now it's dead... ... As always

Cracked open a Corona, not enough to get drunk either, just one for user.

Nail on the head user. I'm Jack by the way.

youtube.com/watch?v=n60yq1ZVfFg

my whole life is nothing bud a sad experience and i am reaching my breaking point very soon. i have no reason to live

What have you been doing since you graduated?

Just a couple whiskey sodas here. Trying to cut back on the drinking these days so not getting drunk as well. I'm Steve. Cheers Sup Forumsros

Same here.

Worst part is Facebook keeps automatically reposting the last loving post she made, so every few days I'm reminded that she is gone.

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Thank you so much for sharing user, you get yourself a cold one, and relax.

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BUMP

I had a woman in my life that I thought was beautiful yet never truly appreciated her since I lived with her and started a job I was nervous about which I focused all my efforts towards at the time. That was 2 years ago.

Well a few months back I looked through some old DVDs that I had and I remember she bought me Pain and Gain for my birthday. I remember getting in such a big argument with her about her spending 20 bucks on a DVD when she didnt even have a job. Well at the time I got so upset I didnt even open the movie to watch it out of protest. Well since its been years since then I decided I wanted to watch the movie and I opened it up and noticed there was a birthday card in it. It read that she loved me and that she couldn't imagine living without me and that she knew I would get mad about her buying a DVD that cost her a lot out of her budget but she didn't care because she knew how much I loved that movie. Well this sounds cheezy but the card actually broke my heart and took me back in time when I was with her.

The things she used to do I took for granted. Every morning she use smile and wake me up in the sweetest ways, she always use to fold my clothes and made sure I looked nice for work, she tried to cook (even though she was awful), and she use to open the blinds and look at the window everytime I drove off to work and blow me kisses before I got in my car, she loved me and always had positive things to say, never complained about me to her friends and even shunned those who would say negative things about me.

I'm still torn to pieces that I ended it two years ago. If I only knew at the time how much of a woman she was back then. Now she is engaged and pregnant to a man that she loves madly.

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Whats the story user

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Some may remember me from yesterday but if not let me tell you.

Alright so I'm a hs student and I go on liberal apps to troll people and share my edgy humor. I tend to meet girls who find me humorous and we become friends. Yatta yatta, most end up offing themselves. This is the suicide note of the most recent one who committed.

>Im so sorry. I cant do it. So much shit has been going on. I can’t take it anymore, I just need to get away. Im probably not going to reply after this, since I giving every thing away. I love you. I Know it was only on a platonic level, and we weren’t even a real thing but I really do feel like I love you. I honestly lied to you when I said I was fine. To be honest, I was so heart broken over so many things, and then you came along. I felt like I actually had someone to relate with, and honestly liked it. Then so much shit went down and I couldn’t take it.Im not gonna end my life..I just- Im not sure what I’m going to do. I was such a doofus and I jacked everything up. Im sorry about being a clumsy girl that was head over heels for you, knowing I wouldn’t get much in return. Please. Don’t bash yourself. This is just a goodbye message,and I know its super gross and cheesy and shit but Im just saying things I feel. and How I felt. I never meant for all this shit to happen, therefore Im going to fix it. Im going to fix it all. I don’t want you to hate yourself or any of that bullshit. Just be the sarcastic little nerd I knew. So this is it I guess..I love you. and I still will…I don’t wanna say goodbye, I really don’t. but I have to. Keep doing you, and don’t stop for anybody. I don’t fucking care what happens, keep being an asshole on Sup Forums. I don’t fucking care what they say. You are the definition to my perfect and always will be. I know, I sound so cheesy. But I don’t care. So I guess I’m signing out..For all the days Im gone: Good morning, goodnight and I love you. I love you so fucking much. Bye..

This is already the third time I've gone through this but only the second time they've fallen for me.

Worst news is my liberal cuck step father doesnt drink so i dont have anything to drink

If you're that desirable, go try your luck on some fellow students ;)

They never like me for looks, only humor and nonchalant attitude

Had a girlfriend for about 3 years and also recently broke up. The fucked up part is we have a 10 month old baby girl together and it just makes the break up so much more complicated. Like we have to see each other so I can visit with my daughter, but we can't stand o be in the same room as each other. On top of that I have Hodgkin's lymphoma and recently had a stem cell transplant so I'm basically in solitary confinement as my immune system rebuilds. So I'm stuck at home and can't attempt to date anyone else or hook up with anyone else while she's out there hooking up with other guys. Life fucking sucks man.

o

Your time will eventually come user. Just wait for life

This thread is dying

Like us.

Thanks user, im dying with no coke or alcohol to help. Three years ago I would have drugs and drinks to help end it

I've been doing this too, just taking long drives to the city just to use gas so my dad thinks I went out with my friends, I can't do it anymore user, I'm so lonely…

OP here, finished talking with ex. Not feeling so well. I just want to let everyone know that you guys are pretty cool. I had some amazing moments here. Feeling nostalgic.