On probation, Haven't smoked in months, wanna smoke. Any ideas on how to get away with it...

On probation, Haven't smoked in months, wanna smoke. Any ideas on how to get away with it. I know flushes don't really work or can be traced.

have you thought of just...not smoking? is it really worth risking a probation violation to get stoned?

Smoke under 2g and drink 2 gal of cranberry juice over 4 days, it will be out of your system on the 5th day

If you haven't smoked in months and only smoke one night it'll be out in three days.

this is true
also add cranberry extract caps
obvi lotta water

the worst part is if i get caught then my felonies that i got deferred will be brought to court.

your onlt sure shot is with fake piss or a friends piss who is clean. take it from a person who just passed with a friends piss

>fake injury
>get prescribed painkillers
>down the hatch with them
>????
>profit?

you drink a shit load of water right before and then piss just water

i didnt use fake piss just a bottle the fake piss came from and a friends clean piss along with ike three hand warmers

alot of PO's won't violate you for thc showing up in a test, they're after the opiates and cocaine and meth and etc. but they still could technically violate you for smoking pot. i told my po that i smoked and she was like ok thanks for being honest. but the point is they still technically can violate for pot, whether they do or not is completly up to them. in my experience they typically don't

fake piss or friends clean piss should be fine

You have to keep the piss body temp though

why not just go buy some beers or liquor then if you wanna get fucked up? the longer you wait til you smoke weed again, the sweeter it'll be when you finally get to toke up.

how retarded would it be if you took some detox advice from some guy on Sup Forums and it ended up being bullshit and they brought those felonies to court?

i smoked 5 days in a row and took 5 off and passed my test. i was really surprised, because i didnt drink a lot of water and do all that shit

why the fuck would you smoke 5 days in a row with only 5 days until your test and not even try to detox lol. you got lucky as fuck

What's the quickest way to get bud out of my system if I'm a frequent user? I smoke about 4 or 5 days a week, a bowl in the morning, sometimes a bowl or two later. I'm not pressed for time or anything, just wondering for when I choose to switch jobs.

im 18 so liquor is a no. also alcohol fucking sucks. i been to parties and honestly hate alcohol because it makes me depressed as shit and makes me cut myself. Also I just wanna get stoned because i haven't in so long. My next meeting is in September so i feel like ill be clean by the next time i could possibly get tested. also my PO told me at the beginning that he probably wont test me. also i quit weed for 2 years before and it didn't make anything sweeter.

Time.

Actually I've also heard putting something really big down your peehole helps. Like biggest thing you can physically fit. Try that.

yea i know i dont know how the fuck it didn't show up, i figured after the 2nd or 3rd day in a row of smoking i knew i wasn't going to pass so i kept smoking. and i knew my PO probably won't put me in jail for something that isn't opiate related. especially pot, because opiates turn me into a piece of shit

if you know for sure that they can't do a "surprise test" or any bullshit like that then you could probably smoke a few times within the next 2-3 days if you drank a lot of water afterwords, but you seriously have to ask yourself if it's worth risking felony convictions if shit goes wrong

Oh your 18 and have felonies already, well shit you're probably just a fucking cunt. I sincerely hope something bad happens to you. Please smoke, and go to jail with the other niggers where you belong.

There's a sex shop that sells metal rods for this purpose about 20 minutes away. Will you help me insert it, user-kun?

opiates make me an apathetic, lazy, constipated fucker so i don't fuck around with them anymore. you shouldn't either. weed is way better, but maybe not good enough to risk a felony conviction

You could just do acid.

i quit both weed and acid a while ago, but you can't really compare the two imo. weed is something you can smoke multiple times a day, everyday. acid isn't something you can do with such regularity.

they make me all those too, but they also make me steal and fuck over and do anything to get high and once you're high everything you had to do to get them is irrelevant. which starts a terribly destructive cycle, weed is ok but it makes me really paranoid. oddly enough i find acid more enjoyable. i dont get any paranoia it just makes me think clearly and be spiritually content

was on probation for two years, always ALWAYS thought i'd piss dirty, never failed, just drank lots of water, casually not even to try and beat the test, and tried giving myself 5 days in advance to stop smoking. of course i didnt go all out all day every day, but would stll smoke on weekends or something, maybe a blunt or bowl or two

refer to

>also alcohol fucking sucks. i been to parties and honestly hate alcohol because it makes me depressed as shit and makes me cut myself.

So get a fucking felony then. What a stupid cunt. You'll be in and out of prison and in trouble, I can tell from your attitude.

Just go ahead and reply and feel better about yourself, then enjoy incarceration. Can't even stop smoking for a little while, what a fucking retarded fag.

agreed, opiates are terribly destructive and eventually lead to a shitty life. acid is way better but it's hard to find REAL acid, so many people sell nbombs and other research chems as "acid".

yes i do have 10 felony charges that will go away in like 5 months because i fucked up when i was 16. But am i a cunt? maybe, i am an asshole in my head but my actions would say otherwise.

Either weed really does make you a retard, or you were born a retard.

You really can't just wait a few months without fucking putting yourself in a position to go to court for your MULTIPLE felonies?

You really just need to do the world a favor and put a bullet through your brain.

>because i fucked up when i was 16.

No, you didn't fuck up, you are a fuck up. Teehee.

>My next meeting is in September so i feel like ill be clean by the next time i could possibly get tested

You mean in less than 2 weeks?

Are you fucking brain damaged? Did your mom smoke before you were born so much that you fucking lacked oxygen in your development?

wtf are you talking about OP?
i am on federal parole and i piss clean every month using a drink
pic very related

Get clean, get real clean. Make it your job to let everyone know how amazing marijuana is. Your job drug tests you? Fine, your clean. Officers search you, you ain't got shit. Anyone have a problem with a normal person speaking their mind? They know where they can put what for. Fuck these animals, shit cures cancer and dea still compares it to heroin.

No like really you will never do anything good for anyone.

You are sincerely just the worst kind of faggot and I hope your life is miserable.

how much longer are you on papers?

acid is for exploring, please explore, but once you get the message hang up the phone. opiates are a career that nobody really signs up for. A felony conviction will cement the life you have now basically till yer 40. Enjoy hating people who could scrape together $10k for decent used cars and can make apointments without constant hood-rat shit pouring over into daily life. (I did, now I want my money back)

Get a new phone number if you can't afford to move too far away for people bumming rides to drive

have done this a couple times KEK

i am a feg, dis is true. but i did quit weed for a year. and in that time i learned the amazing benefits of our lord harambe and his queen pepe

>shit cures cancer

dude i'm a big fan of the bud, but please don't say it "cures cancer". there are debatable studies showing that it slows the progression of certain types of cancer, but literally no studies show that it cures cancer.
stop spreading ignorance please

>once you get the message hang up the phone
I know this isn't your quote but it's great advice

Ever heard of micro dosing? Acid helps cure depression, tmyk.

like 5 months

if you do give in and smoke just know that your entire high will be spent worrying about passing that drug test and thinking about going back to jail or prison. thats what happened to me, my whole high was ruined by the fact that i am not aloud to smoke. it was like a bad trip almost

No I meant it shuts up contentious fags like you, not literal cancer of the body.

lol chill out, faggot. don't flip out on me because i called you out on your bullshit.

true, this happened the last time i smoked, like 4 months ago. thanks for that!! not gonna smoke at all!! Thanks

>but i did quit weed for a year.

And when you get another felony because you failed your test, I'm sure the judge will drop the charges based on the fact that one time you stopped smoking for a year. Lol

>Stop spreading ignorance
Next your going to tell me to check my privelege.

And beyond physical cures, what if cancer is about mind over matter? Wouldn't euphoria give cancer patients a sense of well being instead of living in intense fear their whole fucking life?

85% bait
15% retard

And your 13

Sorry kiddo Sup Forums is for grown ups.

Happy someone does, It feels like yesterday I passed that exit ramp, even shoved a few into it, been at least 15 years now, we in the country now, no nice towns in a long time, no exits at all in years. Someday I should adapt, but today I still wait that just over the next horizon there will be an exit.

what about my 13?

>what if cancer is about mind over matter?

if you asked a cancer researcher or any type of scientist if cancer was "about mind over matter", what do you think they would say? for the sake of what little faith i still hold in humanity, i'm gonna go ahead and believe you're just trolling

>And your 13
fucking lol. learn how to speak English, tard.

not who you replied to, but scientific research is meant to be applied on people eventually, but just because there's no cure doesn't mean people people shouldn't be treated
>how is your argument even relevant

>but scientific research is meant to be applied on people eventually

what point are you proving with this sentence? what do you think this means?

>just because there's no cure doesn't mean people people shouldn't be treated

no shit. i literally never argued against this point. all i did was point out the difference between "treatment" and "cure", which are two very different things.

But no really I hope OP ends up ina ditch. Fucking kids committing felonies are the AIDS of society.

>what point are you proving with this sentence? what do you think this means?
there's only one sentence user

>no shit. i literally never argued against this point. all i did was point out the difference between "treatment" and "cure", which are two very different things.
what you did is basically criticise one way of treating cancer by confronting it to people researching cures
>what do you think they would say
also,
>you don't treat scientists, you treat ill people
it's all about easing one's condition for now, i can't understand why you would reject that

>there's only one sentence user

explain it please. it's a strange sentence. obviously a certain subset of scientific research is eventually meant to be applied on humans. what's your point?

>what you did is basically criticise one way of treating cancer by confronting it to people researching cures

nope, user said weed cures cancer, i said it doesn't. the research supports my statements. i literally admitted in my original comment that weed slows the progression of certain types of cancer, so what exactly is your point again?

>you don't treat scientists, you treat ill people

what the fuck does this have to do with anything? are you schizophrenic?

>it's all about easing one's condition for now, i can't understand why you would reject that

when did i reject that? can you quote me where i rejected that exactly?

Lol this guy is retarded.
1/10 bait

What has my post become

That and still no distinguisable reliable answers

it's pretty simple dude. you have 2 options.

1. smoke weed and risk felony convictions
2. don't smoke weed for a few months and don't risk any felony convictions