User

user,
what's the best advice you have ever received ?

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Stay away from Sup Forums.

time flies when youre a faggot

get pussy

Don't eat the yellow snow!

Don't touch that, it's hot.

Don't put crayons up your nose.

then i smoked some more ice

youtu.be/K41xWCX5uMU

Best advice of my life.

"Go fuck yourself"

What?

Everything is a matter of probability, just because something doesn't work once does not mean you should get discouraged. As long as there are reasonable odds of win you should keep trying.

If it won't matter in five years, don't waste five minutes today worrying about it.

You never lose your girl. You just lose your turn.

Never volunteer information.

Dafaq?

this.... changed my life youtube.com/watch?v=JxXUs6g7BO8

I'm sorry, but this is the most beta kind of advice you can get

that show sucked

Don't stick your dick in crazy

When participating in a gangbang. Always go first

It's actually extremely alpha. It's over your head mate. No worries.

Pull out

Stay away from women. They are a quick way to lose half your shit.
-my uncle who got divorced twice

Don't stay away, just don't get married. Ever.

you can only rely on yourself, dont assume others will be there for you.

seriously. My dad has been married 3 times and it's ended in a fucking shitshow everytime. Just live like charlie sheen

"A feeling isn't a fact".

"If you have a vehicle there is no reason you shouldn't be getting money or getting laid."

OP is always a faggot

So he lost all of his shit then?

save your money don't go to the show

Don't eat professional pussy.

You will come off your motorbike at some point so get some good equipment.

Don't drink and drive.

Pay off your credit card every month

No risk, no reward.
Price is what you pay, value is what you get.

Porn makes you a rapist.
youtube.com/watch?v=zFUb5l7aO2w

kys

Never marry a chick just because she lets you fuck her up the ass

and videogames make yoou go postal and shoot up a school.. no wait that was marylin mansons' music.

Dont lie about petty embarrassing stuff. Its common knowledge everyone does it too.

If someone asks you "do you pick your nose?" dont lie because then everyone know youre a nosepicker AND a liar.

If youre gonna buy packaged mac n cheese, always buy name brand or a brand you trust.

Believe me, i never thought i would eat something so foul and closely tasting to vinegar and urine

There was advise about pussy being all the same on here a few weeks about it was so bang on but didn't save it.

Anyway "Measure twice and cut once"

Women are artful liars.

pretending being a male feminist gets you mad poontang

This

always walk with your head forward. never look down at your shoes

First year of high school

>Question everything.

No you're just a cuck with no game still

Bulbasaur is for pussys.

What if the ground is uneven?

Shut the fuck up and listen for a sec

Pussy is pussy.

You might regret fucking some of them for a few weeks, but you'll regret the ones you didn't fuck for the rest of your life.

If the tunnel is red, go for the brown one

why?

This is gonna sound stupid, I know. I was watching an episode of ER, a loong time a go. Ten years or so.

The black doctor had been called cos he had a phone call, but on the way to get it, he was called into an emergency by Rocket Romano. Black doctor said he had a phone call, and Romano said something that, I dunno why, has stuck with me ever since. He said:

>Good news can wait. Bad news won't go away.

I guess I've interpreted that as, shit isn't as important as I think it is. Things sort themselves out eventually. So don't worry about it.

Maybe I've just been lucky with life, or maybe it really is because of a quip on a TV show.

Buy property

Don't never make fun of no cripples

if you hold your breath while driving a nail, the nail won't bend.

this is literally the only advice my father left me.

No matter how old you are or what schooling you have, go to a local VoTech and learn basic auto mechanics. It's cheap and will save you a shitload of trouble and money.

>Remember this boy, when I'm gone
>Check your zip when you've been to the Jon
>Walk tall
>Keep your eye on the ball
>Stick your chest out
>And always carry a torch

Dont be a poes

Be lekker.

The Lord loves a working man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

>in high school
>helping Dad remodel the house
>find a note inside a wall
>my handwriting
>says "Don't trust her"
>fogettabbaddit
... ten years later, fckn perfidious
gf turns me over to the Feds.
Then I remember the note.

youtube.com/watch?v=6pV7SoipeHo

youtube.com/watch?v=SlCRfTmBSGs

This is some cringr level loathing lol. What

you don't have to pretend to be shit, here's some fixed advice:
>feminists are more likely to have casual sex with you because why shouldn't we have sex on a first date... you're not slut shaming are you? that's not very feminist of you
or something along those lines

>jogging scene at the end, that ass tho
She's not wrong, that dude was a porn nooblet if he got all sorts of new fetish ideas from a porn mag. She's lucky he didn't discover the internet.
>Now this is the part where you wear a bikini and drown in quick sand,

>Don't quit the piano
>Fuck working on your Handel
>Smoke papers, recognize you really can't save niggas
>'04, remain seated after Tim's fadeaway against the Lakers
>Learn to fight, write, then rewrite
>When they say "revolution", don't believe the hype
>Go see PE live that night
>Don't talk business around GG and Black Mike
>Matter fact, keep them dudes in the corner of your eyesight
>Avoid DC when you graduate. Better yet, graduate degree
>And say something to your father before he leaves
>That's the last time you'll ever see him
>And that's not a lot of money, fam, that's a couple G's
>And I probably don't need to tell you this, but ride clean
>When she asks you straight up, say what you mean
>It's never as bad as it looks or as good as it seems
>Protect your mother
>Even though he won't listen, tell Ko, "THEM DUDES IS UNDERCOVERS!"
>Kiss Summer. Your time's short. Build forts
>Steel doors reinforced in a world full of sore losers and bad sports
>It's always the away games. Stay with home court
>Forgive bitter battles fought
>Tell your sister you miss her from the heart
>Sip tea in '83 with terrible men
>War in the air as you play with your friends
>Enjoy it while you can

jews and niggers
niggers and jews
one steals your money
the other you shoes

>Trust is like a mirror. Even if you glue it back together you will always see the cracks.

In other words, if your partner betrays your trust somehow then that shit will always come up to the surface until it finally breaks your relationship years later.

You may catch flies with honey but you'll catch honeys being fly.

filename

Came home late one night from banging this new chick

Father was up says "Get some pussy?"
Me "yeah"
Father "She any good"
Me "yeah, you jelly"
Father "who you thing she got that way?"
Me "?????"
Father "like a warm toilet seat, feels good but you wonder who last on it last"

youtube.com/watch?v=DLzxrzFCyOs
>dont give up

Up the bum, no babies come.

If you failed, its not because you didn't try, its because you never believed you could do it in the first place.

Never trust a nigger, a gipsy, a chinese or a jew

Where is this greentext

K
Wuj2<
Jtxd

Natural talent determines the difference between 1st and 2nd, not 1st and last. If you want to be good at something, PRACTICE. You can jump into the top 20% of anything with zero natural talent.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.

or in other words, Sup Forums is always right

u should kill yourself

"don't talk to stranger, they're only here to do you harm"

This

bust the nut in her but

always ride full stuffed

put the goo in her poo

put the man cream in her stinky seam

To always request sauce.

Hint....hint....

There are two rules for success:
1. Never tell everything you know.

My counselor once said
"People always complain about me not washing my hands after peeing. They always say, 'didnt your mother teach you to wash your hands?' and I say no. But she taught me not to put my dick where it doesn't belong".

You dont walk into the future looking backwards

"You can do whatever you like in life, but you can never escape the consequences".

That was the best piece of wisdom I've ever received, words to live by.

cum in that ass and smoke some grass

Underrated post.

Fuck birches, make money.

Get ur dick wet bro not ur eyes