Depp and Heard are getting a divorce

>Depp and Heard are getting a divorce
SHE ACTUALLY DID IT THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN

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He's done for. He'll be doing Pirates of the Caribbean for the rest of his life before he kills himself in 6 years time.

ALIMONY

Imagine being Amber in that marriage and having to be all like "damn, Johnny Depp, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your alcohol gut and horrific unwashed toothless monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is fuck another woman in her dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Amber and not only sit in that chair while Johnny Depp flaunts his disgusting body and Australia apologies next to you, the favorable lighting barely concealing his stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that apology. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as all the fangirls on the street tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JOHNNY DEPP LOOKS LIKE *THAT*? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his alcoholicish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged sub-lesbians for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Texas.You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his dimpled stomach as he sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you and the camera, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to sit there to not go to jail and revel in his "rockstar" (for that is what he calls himself) beauty, the beauty he worked so hard for with hard drugs and Alice Cooper in the previous years. And then the Australian government calls for another take and you know you could seduce every single person in this room before internet weirdos and divorce lawyers could put you down but you sit there and endure because you're fucking Amber. You're not going to lose your future career and alimony over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it

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>Heard filed for divorce from Depp after 15 months of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences. The split comes just days after Depp's mother passed away at the age of 81.
>According to TMZ, Depp has asked the judge to refuse Heard's demand for spousal support.

What the fuck is wrong with women?

>2017
>Furry Vengeance 2 with Brendan Fraser and Johnny Depp

TSUJ

SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME
TO PAY THE ALIMONY
I AIN'T THE DARKEST GUY IN MY BED

More fucked up than the Dan Schneider monologue.

Another passanger on the JUST train. When will these Hollywood retards learn not to marry?

that video of her during the leak was pretty great

>that trimmed landing strip
aye

>I AIN'T THE DARKEST GUY IN MY BED
fucking lel

We must hunt down every succubus who is roaming the earth. We must hunt them and burn them alive.

>no prenuptial agreement

THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN

>2016
>getting married

...

J U S T

>be involved in the most degenerate, low-life, scumbag industry on the planet
>try out a Christian, pure, demanding concept like Marriage at the same time

how dumb?

Jesus christ that's fucking cold

How do we unfuck Johnny's shit?

>they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his alcoholicish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day

kek!

>marrying a Randian half your age
What did he expect?

It's ice cold, but what did he expect?

>you technically have a slightly better chance now of having Amber Heard marry you

did they date and marry when he was hot shit or something?

Whatever happened to that "EL JUSTO" kid from last night/around 11 hours ago? Did he get banned?

Probably got tired of the het thing.

>production of Pirates 5 swamped with delays (some of which was Depp's fault) that added $70M to the budget when the movies were expensive as fuck to begin with
>Orlando Bloom returning and probably asking for a lot of money
>5 years since the last one and 13 years since the first, popularity has probably petered out by now and people are probably bored of Jack Sparrow's shenanigans
What happens if it underperforms? Is he done for?

>years of women wetting their kotex after this faggot
>now he's turned into a gross monster
Kek

Very nice

How much of a contributing factor was this madman?

rosebud...

Best part is the timing

Right as his mother died

She could have waited a month, she could even have waited 2 fucking weeks
But no, she divorced him, DAYS after his own mother died

Women are fucking evil

>Hate to say I told you so...

What happened to his cheeks? Did he get his wisdom teeth removed or something?

Not even a good actor, but the man has Brandoesque presence.

Case in point. Million dollar Disney flagship movie of the summer... starring Depp as the Mad Hatter.

It's called fat

She got tired of Jack Sparrow playing Johny Depp

Another member for the JUST league

Body fat... pretty simple

>tfw put on like 30kg and lost my sweet huge jaw

i just saw a photo of myself at 85kg (im 100kg today) and it's crazy how much of a difference it makes

I need to go full bulemia mode to become handsome again

Probably buccal fat removal.

Tim Burton is a has been, people. That's the draw.

let me guess, she waited exactly the amount of time to give her a decent chance at alimony? why do rich men still get married, they have to know what's gonna happen

>but the man has Brandoesque presence.
no he doesn't

cause actors are really fucking dumb but also idealists

so its like you give a lottery ticket to a janitor who believes in fairies and of course he's going to think true love is real and people dont just like him cause he won the lottery

Men remarrying after a divorce is like breaking back into jail

>When will they learn?

he kinda does

youtube.com/watch?v=cRbUC-D_JkU

DO IT

YOU CAN DO IT

JUST DO IT

>marriage
>christian

ive straight up got body dysmorphia. I feel like to be my healthy lean weight (80-90kg, not sure the number) I'll have to be so much lighter/weaker than the big 100+kg guys

>tfw brain doesn't even recognise that the fat carried beyond 80-90 doesn't increase strength by any relevant factor and actually inhibits cardiovascular energy

FUCK I HOPE MY MIND CAN UNDERSTAND THIS BROS AND I BECOME /FIT/

He always seemed like smug twat, quite enjoying his recent string of misfortune

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We don't, he's a hack actor and now he's not even attractive to make up for it. He fucked his shit up himself.


And with his fame and a good lawyer he can afford he won't even have to pay alimony, trust me.

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