Choose wisely

Choose wisely.

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Ability to draw very straight lines.

>The more guns I own the more power I have
>Live in Australia

In Australia the government owns your guns.

>quadrepelegic Helen Keller type
>Spidey senses for everything

Can turn invisible but skeleton still shows

Keyboard

The ability to never get baggy eyes

spooky

Aquaman
youtube.com/watch?v=eI3uFgRVFuI

>World best at blowjobs
>male

Superhuman strength for 2 seconds

luminescent farts

The ability to see in the dark but only works in daytime

Telekinesis but it only works on my own bodily fluids

Ability to telepathically insult people

Yup, that's right you heard it.

can survive a fall from any height but still take damage.

>underground
>indoors

The ability to suck your own dick, but without feeling anything in your dick

I become immortal but my injuries don't heal anymore.

Ability to fly, only 3 meters off the ground

Actually that's a nice one

the ability to sleep with your eyes open

Nigga, what

I can throw human babies at supersonic speed. But only human babies.

Activate power, ask people to shoot bullets at you for 2 seconds, survive, get money

X-Ray vision but it causes cancer

ability to see 1 second in the past

Lmao. So dumb.

The ability to urinate on command

Acquire dead babies

Throw them into space

I can skip time for 10 seconds but I don't understand how my ability works. Can someone explain it for me?

The ability to poop glass shards

Ability to grow fingernails at will

to turn into a nigger

We could try but you wouldn't understand

btw, ability to explain every topic, but only in cat-sounds

Shut up meg

The ability to get a stroke at will

Flying but only when you blink really fast (like hummingbird wings)

rapid libido regeneration

not bad

Nanomachines

How is that useless?

I can detach from my feet and float upwards but I can never come back down.

turn it on at the impact of a punch or jump

Warfare camouflage.

Super Hindsight, but only when used to criticism and not improve future similar events. I can only use it as a blogger or some joke of a newscaster.

>super flexible, can fit anywhere, like an octupus
>claustrophobic

how long before this thread devolves into "X but Y"

ability to predict the future one minute ahead with 20% chance of success

Then you'd just die when you land.

Pretty good one. Can fly over pretty much anything (people, cars). No more traffic jams.

>implying I wouldn't use it to avoid the draft

Lost

ask your mum

The ability to detach your dick permanently

Eyes for nipples

DON'T DICTATE OUR GENDERS! *feminism joke rage here*

The ability to become invisible when there is no one around Inc cameras and all visual devices
As soon as you pass/ are spotted by one your power fails.

ability to communicate with dead animals

In them? What's the problem then

You're*

not for punching. good for combat or throwing

In soviet russia guns own you

^English Major Superpower

the ability to know for certain when someone lies, but you are unable to tell anyone else about it, including the liar

kek i want this tho

Ability to detach limbs. They wont grow back either so if you misplaced your hand or something you're fucked

ability to conduct electricity when stick fork in outlet
>mfw cant kill myself

The ability to sense when a cat is stalking me. Never again shall they ambush me and gnaw on my ankles!

Can go back in time 3 seconds once each day

The ability to sleep for 16 hours a day instead of 8.

Invicibility, but only works when nobody is looking to you

You call that useless? You need to use your imagination. Just being able to piss while driving and have it go out your window and into the window of the guy behind you who has been tailgating you for 20 miles would be pretty alright.

Ok mystery men

use it to cum twice

Ability to have a rational argument with a feminist

>the ability to maintain a stable relationship, but you have to get into one first

ability to fly if i spin my dick like helicopter

I can teleport myself to Afghanistan at will

Ability to drink water through my ass hole and to piss through my eye sockets. But only when I have a bonner.

the ability to lift and lower your balls at will.

Kek

That is not a useless power, it is the ultimate trolling power to their anything... like real feminists do to the neo-feminists (the feminazis)

The ability to kill everybody in the world simultaneously. (Excluding myself)

>explain every topic, but only in cat-sounds
>teach cats everything
>cats take over planet for you

i can only see what is happening behind me

point taken.

But get into one first... oh crap, that power is useless.

Supersede but only while sex
Can't be turned off

The ability to drink all the water at once

Literally "one for all" of hero academia.
Motherfucker owns it.

the ability to fuck your mom but only when she's dead

Ability to play any game before 2005 on my Mac

That's literally the superpower the world needs right now

kek

We all have this power.

>play game
>Mac

Truly useless

The ability to use nunchucks

Im pretty sure i have this power, aside from being a newcaster