Hey Sup Forums, I'm poor as fuck and need a cheap...

Hey Sup Forums, I'm poor as fuck and need a cheap, quick and painless way of committing suicide so I have no reason to pussy out. I'd just drink bleach but I don't want to be in pain while I die. Can't do mask because I can't buy helium\gas mask and I may be caught by members of my family (they come see me in my small apartment regularly and I never know when they'll show up).

Turn on a mates car in a closed garage and wait. It wont hurt, you'll just eventually pass out and never come back.

Or steal a car if you have no mates, you will die anyway.

just jump of a bridge, it's free and when you hit the ground it's instant

Mates don't own cars, they're junkies. I'm too weak to steal.

Scared of heights.

Well then just commit suicide with old age, works 100% of the time.

That's not guaranteed to work - most cars nowadays don't release enough carbon monoxide in their exhaust

Too long to wait.

Gun is the most painless way i guess, borrow some money from family and friends. Buy a shotgun put it in your mouth and fire.

Just hang yourself

old age is good

Guns are expensive here, illegal in my state.

Don't know how to tie a noose, concerned I'm too fat and I'll break the noose.

get one hell of a strong rope

Where though?

plastic bag over your hesd

>Don't know how to tie a noose, concerned I'm too fat and I'll break the noose.

Holy shit why don't you take the time to learn? You fat horrible waste off skin. Stop attention seeking and change your life you waster.

>mad/10

Or - bear with me here - you could seek professional help so you don't want to kill yourself. I was suicidal about a year ago, but now quit my shit job and got a much better job in a city that I've been wanting to live in all my life. I feel infinitely better (not because of the job, that came after I felt better) and it seems ridiculous that I ever wanted to kill myself. Just my two cents anyways, I hope things work out for you.

Buy a toy gun and spraypaint it black. Wear hoodie. Approach police officer. Shout "It's nerf or nothin'!" As loud as you can and initiate a dart tag match. Congratulations.

...

Don't kill yourself man. There's people that care about you. Life has it's ups and downs. Money doesn't buy happiness.

Just jump of a building

You're not going to kill yourself, if you wanted to kill yourself you would have done it already
You made this thread just for attention

Faggot

Pussy. Suicide is the most alpha thing you can do. A leap of faith into the unkown.

The most sweaty part of my body is my asshole

How is suicide an unknown? Successful suicide leads to a complete ceasing of brain function, a nothingness. Another day alive presents more of an "unknown" than the alternative.

Now thats some useful information

You could read back your op and die of boredom

You need to get off your ass and be a fcking man pussy

>You need to get off your ass and be a fcking man pussy

You chose to censor the work fuck but still used the word pussy in a derogatory way, uncensored...

No no my friend you need to sort your life out you fucking pussy.

>go to school
>get a degree related to advanced sciences
>graduate at top of class
>join the air force
>reach peak physical fitness
>join the space program
>complete extensive training
>become an astronaut
>fly to space station
>get inside
>poke hole in hull
>press bare ass against hole
>let guts get sucked out from asshole
guaranteed to work
will only take a few short decades to complete

A good way to commit suicide is of old age
you just have to wait between 50 - 70 years and then poof, painless death, sometimes in your sleep as well. Best way to do it

unless you fuck it up.

A surprising number of people fuck it up.

>le suicide by old age meme

I wonder where all the oldfags went? Might be time to move on as well.

old people are the most likely to kill themselves because dying of old people diseases really really sucks

bullshit, I hear rave reviews from people who have died of old age all the time

...

IT WAS A FUCKING TYPO

Is that a suicide method for ants?