Anyone know how to improvise one of these?

Anyone know how to improvise one of these?

It's called a prostitute

Hand towel. Rubber glove. Belt.

1 - Get ahold of around 50 bucks somehow
2- Order it online.


Easy.

> first

> you check em'

Find a real one you virgin

Too poor and don't really want to get an std

Glass, warm raw meat (beef, chiken, whatever...).

don't do DIY if you don't want to see your dick bleeding

Preferably beef
Then cum in it.
Cook it.
Eat it.
Make a webm of the process and post it on Sup Forums

never seen this

Grapefruit, fucking obviously

Make. One. From. A. Fetus.

When I was like a freshman in high school, I came across a tutorial on here that makes a fleshlight out of a water bottle, some cotton, and a condom.

Probably in retrospect it didn't feel that good, but being a horny teenager, it got the job done for me.

1.microwave a water melon for a couple minutes
2.cut it in half and scoop out a section slightly smaller than the width of your dick but deep enough for you to fully penetrate
3.enjoy the soft warm pink watermelon pussy

burritos are just fleshlights you can eat.

Pool noodle, rubber bands for varied squeezness, condom, lube

Put it in a girl's vagina and then fuck it.

Duct tape can be used instead of rubber bands

Into what?

When I was single and no sex for a few months, I got one of these and it was a life-altering experience. I don't use my hand like a fucking caveman anymore. I fuck a piece of rubber like a degenerate weirdo, but damn it's pretty fucking good.

Checked

+1 a real woman's vagina feels like it

you need:

2 pais of socks
1 latex glove
some lube

put some lube inside the glove than
stack as followed pair of socks - glove - pair of socks. now fold the wrist part of the glove over the socks - profit

Or even better: give to your sister or mother. Not to father, that would be too extreme.


Just jokin'... Give it to yo papa!

1/3

2/3

Water weenies

True, that's an old recipe. Just be careful not to break the glass with your excited hand. Plastic ones should be better.

came here to post this microwaved watermelon is honestly the closest thing to real pussy you can get
beats out fleshlights too

3/3

Want mine? It's unused...

Tip, just get one of those $10 sleeve type ones. They are cheap, really easy to clean up, and you don't feel like such a faggot for owning one (since they don't look like fake vaginas

Stack in this order

sponge
rubber glove
sponge

than wrap it in a towel

pull the rubber glove over the edge of the towel and lube it
finished

Nice trips.

Put a condom in a Pringles can ... Post it in the thread

I just had to leave this here. Don't mind me.

ah shit
what a party

I've never actually tried putting vibrators in my fruit while I fuck them
could be good

Pour warm water into a diaper. Tear small hole at the end once it's warm and full. Put on condom. Put dick in warm mush. Feels good man.

take a cheap frankfurt pack and put into a tube/bottle, then add butter and oil on the frankfurts and ur dick, then introduce ur dick in the midle... it is cheap, fast, condom needn't and feels like a real meat pussy.

after use u can keep the frankfurt pack frozen for a week.

just find a cuck on Craigslist who will suck you off while wearing his wife's wedding dress. that's what I do.

this is a sign of a potential child molester here

hollow out a cucumber with a knife, put into hot water... or microwave but microwave burns. ;P