You are stuck on an abandoned island and can have 1 thing with you, what would you bring?

You are stuck on an abandoned island and can have 1 thing with you, what would you bring?

A loaded gun. Easy,

a boat.

A functioning city so it is no longer abandoned

a boat

a fully fuelled and crewed Apache helicopter

Dildo

A fleshlight

You, just as a fuck you for putting me in this situation

...

your mom

A whore

Ainsley Harriot's Feel-Good cook book

my ipad

a bowl

A boat

One last drink, so that I can be happy right before I tie a vine noose.

Les Stroud

kidnapped neighbor girl becky who my waifu
now yum yum gobble gobble deep deep wrumm wrumm

Another island

One Finland, positioned so that my bed is placed directly underneath myself.

Alex Grey

meth

Her. That way she won't leave again.

Rum

i feel ya

so ... this is a feels thread now?

...

satellite phone... on a boat.

Fleshlight

a mcdonalds so i never starve

a seaplane

my sister

why not a chinese buffet?

what do you think i am, a chink?

A hot chick that dislikes rape enough to scream an turn me on, but not enough to kill me in my sleep. Like a really moral cutey that absolutely refuses to take another person's life for whatever bullshit reason.

This raises the question:
Why no one sued one of those for becoming obese?
Any lawyerfag around here?

why not cut your balls when you sleep?

You can always tie her before you fall asleep

i am not a lawyer but that case would definitely not hold up in court. it wasn't mcdonalds fault that you ate there for every meal.

Because she knows I'll fucking kill her if she did something like that. Can't kill me, doesn't want to die herself.

check its range and your pilot training

...

With what, some rope I made out of vines. She could chew through that. Not gonna risk it.

they are knowingly selling a toxic product, and they make their food as addictive as possable
there may also be something in them making meat expensive to force people into buying their burgers

because fat fucks are fat fucks because they chose to be, not any restaurants fault.

There have already been studies showing you can eat anywhere and still maintain a healthy weight. That Spurlock faggot was massively criticized after Super Size Me, he lied about how many calories he was ingesting, the meals he claimed to be eating had the wrong calorific values, he would of been having to be eating super size meals every time + extras, when he claimed he only ate supersize a few times a week, he has refused to make his calorie diet public. Whats more loads of university studies proved his findings wrong and one university professor even repeated what Morgan did but keeping to 2200 calories a day and gained no weight.

people break, and then do crazy shit
women do crazy shit all the time

a fully charged satellite phone filled with the numbers of every coast guard organisations in the world, duh

siis vittu täh?

help I'm stuck
>where are you
on an island
>....................

Mr. Lealos

Tie hands behind her back and to a tree shes not gonna chew through that

a fully stocked boat with every thing needed to return to the mainland

a magic lamp with 3 wishes

10000000000000000000 grams of weed

a 10 year old girl ;) fun stuff ;)

A Brietling Emergency

Sorry

>they are knowingly selling a toxic product

and people knowingly buy and consume the product, they never claimed it was healthy.

>and they make their food as addictive as possable

it is only addictive if you are an obese fucktard who is addicted to food in general. for the normal people who can control their calorie intake it isn't a problem.

>there may also be something in them making meat expensive to force people into buying their burgers

kek

You know there are bigger units than a gram

Enough canned food to last a lifetime

>implying you cant triangulate the position using the signal of the satphone

why not say 10000000000000000 kilograms or 10000000000000 metric tons

hahaha jokes on you. they can triangulate the signal and estimate the position of the handset within a couple kms. some new units even have GPS on them - so - nice try

what about the book "how to build a raft"

its ONE THING you retard. Not a whole lot of things. Why not just order a boat with all the supplies to survive on the island for the rest of your life comfortably including a dozen hot horny girls and never leave?

ass

why not just bring a fucking raft.

most sat phones don't have that ability

Survival Handbook

300mg of potassium cyanide

and no can opener

good luck opening the cans and cooking that shit, genius.

sex deer

the sat phone doesn't need that ability. the iridium satellites have the ability. shit head

because
>A U T I S M
>U
>T
>I
>S
>M
also
thread

just to be clear - a boat doesn't solve anything. a sail boat = better. Not knowing where you are located and therefore in what direction a mainland is = deadly. If the boat has no rations, you won't last more than a few days at sea.

So, fuck your boat.

I bring a horrible virus that will wipe out all of mankind in a tiny bottle. then I put it on a pedestal and worship it.

My cell phone with gps enabled.

A Laptop with all Bear Grylls Episodes

Cheezburger

there aren't enough satellites to do a location fix

a helicopter

adios bitches

it's an abandoned island thus it has to relatively close or far because it'd be a hassle to get there

I'd bring a float plane with a glass cockpit and full fuel tanks, the glass cockpit would ensure it'd have a good GPS and other computers so I can find the nearest place to go with people

if I can't fly anywhere close to a civilization I'd set off the ELT and wait

>and yes I know how to fly planes

so, you will know where you are, but no way to tell anyone about it? good job!

no signal
no wi-fi
no charger
>fag that brought the dildo would be better off

until the rotors get caught in the fucking trees or kick up sand into the engines and on top of that heli's can't go as far as planes nor as fast

Better drink your own pee

so you know how to fly it??
and you know it has enough range??
and you know where your island is and which way to head??

do you know anything about iridium satellites? they can doppler your ass and find your location too. please - don't post until you are at least out of high school

Magnesium stick or fire steel. you faggots would all die of hypothermia within two days

no skins or lighter bro

Underrated

don't need one to open a can autismo

>and therefore in what direction a mainland is

no matter what direction you went to you would find a mainland.

>If the boat has no rations, you won't last more than a few days at sea.

You could fish for food and use an evaporation distillation for water. the only other thing you would need is some kind of cover to keep out of the sun but you could easily make one

Fully fuelled helicopter

A backpack that is full of everything I need.

>not making your own fires

A machete would be good all round. Can be used to cut and chop things, and as a weapon.

What if it's a really hot island then?

exactly all these idiots saying a helicopter don't realize a sea plane has more range and speed and plus it floats, a helicopter would sink, and you can't fly a helicopter anywhere gotta make sure there's rotor clearance
bad idea

Fuck you whore, my activated almonds would keep my fat levels at optimum levels to ward off the cold and keep me in good health for at least 5 days.

>not understanding what one thing is