Ask a Chef anything about cooking or food

Ask a Chef anything about cooking or food

What are the best seasonings to use for a human buttock? 'Cause I wanna eat some ass.

...

why is my shit so liquid if I'm only eating peanuts?

please go kill yourself 14 years old faggot

where are the best places to buy high quality ass and what's the best way to cook it?

how do i cook lamb without it getting stringy?

Honestly they should just let those people solve their own problems Palestinians, Israel,
Syria can`t Mossad the Assad with Russia helping him just leave those continents alone.
fix stuff here in the United States
Trump was on the right track of trying to ask for protection from other countries then he fucked up by saying combating ISIS who the hell cares what happens in europe.
That is why we are Building the ANTI DEFIMINATION FREE SPEECH LEAGUE
where you can call someone a faggot, a nigger a kike, a spic, a honkey, or sand nigger.
aboloshing the hate crime law that is just senseless.
You can Join Now

whats your go to dish to impress people?

How do I cook food?

you answered your own question

Did Harambe go to heaven?

How much is Wendy's paying you these days?

How do I prepare cow intestine for grilling?

Beef Wellington or Salmon eggs benny

how do you know what spices go on what, or go together? do you just eat every possible combination of spices and meat until you find ones that work?

what is Wendy's?

For dinner tonight I marinated chicken in mango juice + lime + hot pepper +garlic and a handful of different spices and then BBQed it. It was good and moist but the marinade flavor didn't really come though much beyond a bit of heat from the peppers. Only soaked for maybe 45 minutes though. Is there a quick way to infuse flavors?

sounds fucking tasty m8, whats the trick to the perfect beef wellington?

no....give me an example of what you want to cook

Is it possible to make tofu good?

yes, after the fact

Do professionals use MSG excessively to coverup low quality food? Or is that a baseless conspiracy? Is it worth it to learn cooking for yourself?

well in my fridge right now i have a fillet of sea bass, a leek and an onion, assume i have any spice within reason

it's a bit complicated....look it up on ramsay

How long do you bake baby for?

only if you rub real meat on it

not OP, but as a britbong who just moved to america, i can tell you theres really obviously msg in everything, 'cause the food is obviously shit quality but its still satisfying as fuck to eat

i think other countries have regulations about that kinda thing

only un professionals use that

So cook first then add a sauce?

Do my ribs look good?

have you ever used cum?

Yes falafel and flat bread is best left to the arabs and juden.
I've never understood why Russia hasn't adapted Syria cuisine instead of vice versa
The differences in pallet between ethnicities you mentioned, is well-documented in chefs.

absolutely learn to cook, thats like a basic life skill, everyone over 16 should know how to cook at least basic meals, its a fundamental part of the human experience

the other upside is that its basically impossible to get fat if you cook all of your own food

Do you cook for yourself/family too most of the time? When you finished your shift.
Or do u like to do something easy when you are home? Or are u a chef 24/7?
Does it bother you that people you meet all want you to cook for them?

Do you make your own stock? How about using minced garlic from a jar? What shortcuts are ok to take?

They look as good as my brains

I need a few recipes that are as easy, tasty, and impressive to plebs as steak au poivre. Any recommendations.

well sounds like you have a great meal right there...a little olive oil cook the bass in, leek not onion
leek is milder and sweeter
a little butter melted, sea salt and fresh ground pepper....yumm!!!

What are some good small tasty dishes i can cook for my fatass family to transition them to actual portions and cooking food?

What is your opinion about Gordon Ramsey? And why is he so awesome?
I want Gordon Ramsey to fuck me so hard while screaming how FUCKIN RAW my ass is.

yes

What is "know cooking" for you? I mean, i'm actually good following the recipes i find on the internet, and my dishes are so good, sometimes better than my mother's. But I don't think that can be called "know to cook".
How chefs make new dishes? Only testing mixures of one ingredient until you find a good one?
What was your learning for being a chef?

how should i cook the leek? fry it up with the sea bass?

Just made homemade sausage biscuits and gravy for my wife, whole family loves it. Looking for any ideas on how to give it a twist?

Anything is better when you let a clown poop on it.

It's like bacon.

OP here fucking awesome dood

When will the fad of under-cooking meat end? Why do people like their steaks to have the consistency of bubblegum?

Any British chefs here, wanna try and get a get a job cooking. Worked in a American themed dinner that closed down for about half a year. All I did was heat up packed food. I wanna actually cook for people other then myself.
I never really take photos of what i make, but this was my first attempt at a beef Wellington about a year ago. As you can see I cut it way to early but was still pretty nice. I have a cv ready if anyone needs it.

Do you know a badass ass marinara recipe? I had some marinara a while ago that was so good I could eat it in a bowl without mozzo sticks

I really just want to kill people like you
Fuck Off and die piss wacker!!!!!!

I love pasta especially with brokkoli and other vegetables but how do I make a good cream sauce?
+ what cheese is best for casserole / lasagna

paprika in the gravy, or horseradish, or mustard

no short cuts are as good as hard work
and never taste as good as fresh

do you have battletoads?

It was also made from a pretty cheap piece of meat, but you Gotta make the most of what you got u know.

I used paprika last time. I'll try the horseradish to give it a nice bite. Thanks bud

go home german user the word you're searching for is barbecuing

Vac pack it. but then you have to buy a machine...

Does semen make a white sauce too thick?

IYO what's the best way to do boneless skinless chicken breasts? Preferably something that can be done in a good quantity (3 to 4) simultaneously. Trying to up my meal prep game.

you can speed up the soaking by squeezing some kiwi into your marinade

No, not at all. I've tricked many people by putting mine in.

really? shit, finally a use for kiwis

no!!!...med heat a small butter knob and olive oil
as the leek becomes translucent take it off the heat...it's done..when plating pour those butter juices over the bass....profit

if you know how to make your own casseroles and pizzas and schnitzel you won't get fat suuuure

doesn't need anything
love that shit

How can you make this shit crispy without burning it?

I've been trying to make my own mayonnaise
but I can never get the emulsion to take

>egg yolk
>1/2tsp salt
>1Tbs white wine vinegar
>1Tbs lemon juice
>1Cup olive oil
>mix yolk and salt
>in separate bowl mix vinegar and lemon juice
>add half vinegar mixture to yolk mixture
>whisk briskly
>add oil a few drops at a time until emulsification begins
>increase oil to a small steady stream, reduce if oil is not quickly incorporated to emulsification
>after 1/2 of oil is incorporate, add remainder of vinegar mixture
>after all oil is incorporated, let sit at room temperature for 1hr
>refrigerate
during the "few drops" portion I get a good emulsion going
but once I go to a steady stream, I have to stop quite frequently
and after I'm done the mixture looks emulsified
but by the time it is done setting at room temperature it has started separating
and after it has refrigerated for more than 8hrs it has almost completely separated
what am I doing wrong?

aww yis, fuck that sounds tasty, i'll get on it

Showed to gf. She wants to know know why there's a tub full of brains.

One of my favorite and extremely easy ways is olive oil, italian bread crumbs, and parmesan. Dip chicken and then spread a mixture of about 2/3 crumbs and 1/3 parmesan and then approx 350` for 30 minutes and its super fast and taste delicious. You cpuld always put broccoli and cheese with either asparagus or greenbeans soaked in butter and cheese underneath the chicken in the pan, preferably a 9x13.
> not Op btw

sprinkle some chilipowder on it and wipe it up with a lemon then put in microwave for one minute. You can thank me later user.

why did you choose a shit tier service industry? why do you want to roast your sweaty ass crack in a hot kitchen? why dd you decide that the best thing that you could accomplish was cooking? literally everyone can cook to some level , given even a week training anyone can cook the same food as you. Not necessarily even close to a professional chefs speed , but with experience comes speed and given a year or so literally anyone can cook. Why do you st on the back burner not accomplishing anything?!

What does the chili powder/lemon do, because that sounds like bogus advice to be honest.

never heard of a think tank before?

>literally everyone can cook to some level
that's why you get trained to become a cook
literally everyone can fuck and get children still there is training for nursery nurses and kindergarten educators just bc some pleb can make a pizza doesn't mean it's not worth as a professional job
>inb4 op bc im not

What do you think about Gordon Ramsay

OP here keep going...you're doing it right
and great on the effort
try a blender....beginners have a hard time whisking fast enough
it's a learner skill
but nice effort
well done

you'll never make anything as fattening as you can buy, currys are a good example of this, theres a good 500ml of oil in any given indian restaurant curry, but you'd never put that in yourself because thats fucking gross

its more about the fact it forces you to have actual meals instead of snacking though

i honestly believe the best way to deal with the obesity crisis is to promote home cooking

What's your favorite hot sauce? I prefer Texas Pete because it adds almost no flavor and just the extra kick, where as something like Tabasco adds a noticeable peppery flavor.

Nah, British food is just terrible non-optimized historical curiosities. America is the land of industrialized fast food, where major companies have full-time research staff wringing every drop of satisfaction from the cheapest ingredients they can find. No MSG additives needed unless you want that "Chinese take-out" flavor.

How does shit like this make you feel.

OP here...I think he is spot on!!!!

Spot on mate

All I have access to is a fridge and a microwave. I don't even have a fucking sink. What's something nice I can make?

I watch his vids and cook his recipes all the time, his burgers, his steaks... Always top notch

Bourdain >
Marco Pierre White >

what gets me the most is how delicately they placed the doritos around the noodles, l like that made a difference somehow

>implying msg isn't precisely the cheapest way to do that

what's the best cheese to use on pizza?
some say mozzarella but that's just plain and tastes like plastic

OP here...I like mixing Franks, Tabasco, fresh cayenne, vinegar and butter. Based on "the Anchor Bar" recipe for hot wings from Buffalo NY

I would say that "knowing how to cook" is like knowing how to make furniture. You can follow a recipe or Ikea kit instructions, but "knowing how to" involves being able to take basic materials and put them together into something good without needing a reference to a pre-designed solution.

how to make good pesto ?

well if you will pay for it...then what?
you need to set the goal and stop eating shit like that!!!!!

did you try ceramic knifes? are there good?

Never thought much of using butter. Thanks for the tip

move to another flat dood

I've heard a little pink in pork is alright? Is this true? When i was younger, i was told that no pink is ok in pork.

I don't eat that garbage, I only saved the webm because of how shockingly disgusting I found it.