ITT: Badly described videogames

ITT: Badly described videogames.

I'll start with a real softball:

>Cousin!
>Slav on Slav violence
>Cousin!
>Look at all these niggers
>Cousin!
>A gay European? Whaaat?
>Cousin!
>Mexicans maybe?
>Cousin!
>The End

Gta 4

Right.

>PhD
>Job consists of pushing a fucking shopping cart

Red Orchestra 2?

>Tests
>Attempted murder
>Revenge?

Half-Life

Portal?

Yup.

>Evil corporation v. Weeaboos

It's like spacey sci-fi with aliens but no actual space involved. Atleast not in the plot or referenced that is.

Right.

>Halt! X 100,000

Borderlands?

>kill son or join son

Fallout 4

>Enter the matrix
>Never leave

Nope. I'd say close but that's not really close at all. Let's think like you never even leave the planet. Like, no space at all. Not even the sight of it.

Hmm, Rage, or Red Faction?

>sand niggers want to go home
>genocide
>sand niggers go home

Nope. It's a better game(s), I'll tell you that.

>My dad is a fucking dick
>Clean up his messes
>Still a dick

Half-life 2?

B-b-b-bingo!

Real life?

> Legit bugs.
> Deadmau parody.
> The fuckin boi deads.
> Family (Only one) deds by 3 bad ass killers.

One part Falling down simulator
One part crawling around
One part fucking up the previous part
last part was never finished

>space minecraft

No man's sky

Correct

Oblivion?

50 cent blood on the sand

>GTA with chinks

>"That shot bounced"
>"Didn't even penetrate"
>many scenic places to go
>fags and jews

sleeping doges

Correct

>half life with five nights at freddies with anime characters with guns and people with fucked up faces with no clear goal

>Not a Ford
>Still helps the good guys
>Space Swashbuckling
>Green face bad man pissed off black face bad man
>Space station battle

WoT

World of tanks?

right

>ball rolling
>jumping
>glove

crash bandicoot

Metroid

Rockets, planes, satellites, space stations, lunar bases, colonies in other planets, physics manipulators; but they're all really fucking hard to get done.
Bonus if you can explain the reference to it: Clay wrapped in duct taped on the side of fireworks.

Planetside 2
Little big planet
Something with fucking planet in it

Resident Evil?

One space ship. After dying ten times, two space ships. After dying like fifty more times you have four space ships to choose from, and you're feeling good about yourself.
>There is no winners, only those that don't lose.
>"Holy crap, a floating weapon in space!"

Goat simulator

Thr Adventures of Bayou Billy

Nope nope

Nope, already got it right.

In HL2 you never leave the planet or see space or even see or hear a reference to space, mainly because the aliens are transdimensional and not extraterrestrial.

Kerbal?

...

Damn son, maybe I was too obvious.
Can you explain the reference though? It's not directly in game, but it has to do with more of an origin story.

>Live
>Die
>Repeat
>Also you and a fucking rock are inseparable for some reason, honestly, if you don't play the game you wouldn't understand

I am bread.

I don't know but I really fucking want to know now and since the thread is dying please tell me nao 3?

MFW I am using pz c and shoot a heavy
>DIDNT EVE SCRATCH THEM
>THAT ONE BOUNCED
>THAT ONE DIDNT GO THROUGH
>DIDNT EVEN SCRATCH THEM
oh boy
>THAT ONE BOUNCED
>Penetration
0dmg
MFW

You weren't too obvious, I wasn't too sure about the answer

I don't get the reference

>be Hot female archeologist
>wear miniskirts and tight top
>Kids fapping

I'll give you a hint, it's in Alpha.

Probably Womb Raider.

Actual user made tags on steam
>Illuminati
>Survival horror
>Family friendly
>Female protagonist
>Memes
>Nudity
The list goes on, you get one hint
>Ikea

>Flash game
>Pick either a girl or guy from a few different factions
>Command an army and take over cities and shit
>Get new and better soldiers to fight for your army after taking over a city

Space engineers

Tom raider series

FTL- Faster Than Light

Doom?

Did you not even think about any of the clues? I specifically said IKEA, what does that mean to you? You see Ikea and instantly think FUCKING DOOM WITH FUCKING DEMONS AND SHIT. Seriously, you should be wearing a helmet right now.

> dad isn't black but decides to act like it
> "gf" kicks you out with him
> he's fucking sleeping in some crappy life thing because he doesn't have one
> wake him up and have to help him with dumb shit
> he fucking kills himself
> everyone says "he's good guy"
> finish his shit for him

Hey! Evey time I go to IKEA it feels like hell, I thought it was doom

No. Came out in 1999. That's a huge hint to anyone who's played this game before

>Ooh, a package
>ITS A FUCKING BOMB
>OH SHIT NOW ITS FUCKING NUCLEAR OR SOMETHING AND THE CITY IS LITERALLY IN RUINS
>You have superpowers now though
>Also, theres some faggot named zeke who lives on a roof, what the fuck zeke

Warframe

>Turn based RPG
>Weeb as fuck
>Killing red people daily
>Not Fire Emblem

To your space engineers, nope.

FTL

Really? Infamous easy

>3rd person shooter
>Shit ton of weapons
>Grindy as fuck

Valkyria Chronicles

Eh, the developer named it Kerbal Space Program, because as a kid him and his friends would make little green guys out of clay and duct tape and strap them to fireworks. Those very green clay and duct tape little fucks were named Kerbals. And thus the name was used.

Nice. That's right

Sounds like one of the borderlands

Warframe

Yup.
Had to throw in that last iconic quote just because I felt like I was being way too vague. Even if that is the point of the game.

Knew it. Love that game. Honestly when you said not Fire Emblem it gave it away.

>3rd person shooter

Yup.

Warframe

>3rd person shooter
>Borderlands

Infamous is old though, it never had a community so I didnt think anyone remembered it.

So there's this guy who's into a chick who is like a solid three feet taller than him. She's really fucking rich and he's really fucking poor and yet he goes to the worlds edge just to fucking be with her.

It's a great game. I'm on the last level at the moment, and should really go around and beat it. Same with the DLC.

>Voxels

Haven't played borderlands in years I thought it was third person for some reason.

Checked and true, I just remember the crappy sequels coming out and going back to the first one

Rust?

>Energy drink
>Zombies
>Ratchet and Clank

Were the sequels good? I never played any.

Hello Kitty's Island Adventure?

FUCKING FIIIIINALLY SOMEPNE GETS IT

No, close though.

The one where you are some Indian kid sucks ass imo the actual sequel (number 2) is better but the Indian kid one just takes too long and is boring

I haven't beaten it yet either. Got it from a humble bundle semi recently and started playing it. Then I got Witcher 3 for free and now that's all im playing.

Oh and a game
>choices
>choices don't actually matter
>color code

Pretty easy.

>Military nigger dresses like he's from the 1700s

I love the Witcher too. Great series imo. Oh and ME3?