911, what's your emergency?

911, what's your emergency?

Help I accidentally called 911

Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!

A faggot started a faggoty 911 thread.

I'm hurt


On the inside

Help, I'm an accidental rapist

I'm a chronic masturbator

my phone keeps calling 911

Is there such a thing as "over the age of consent"?

I've run out of dubs

GET THE WATER NIGGAH
SHITS GOING DOWN
THIS IS SOME MOTHERFUCKING BOOTLEG FIREWORKS SHIT RIGHT HERE

Here you go, have mine

Can you help me to change my name to Rape? Then I can say, I thought she only Screams my name

I tried to kill myself but failed. Got any advice for me?

cen i hav pussy pleaze?

I'm too scared to open this bill.
I'm not sure if I can next months rent.

Girlfriend is out of the house for the night, how to fuck bich while she gon?

Find a higher building

Im gonna kill my neighbor and his dogs so you guys better come fast if you wanna save some lives

dub please

STOP.

I have autism

HAMMER TIME.

nothnig you can do you'll die of eternal bleeding

My dick too big like elia earhart

I need EMS at 1234 faux road. Cardiac arrest, one male. Aged 40. Victim isn't breathing and lacks a pulse, CPR started, can't administer aspirin. Send fire as well, victim is fairly obese.

Kekd

Due to hemorrhaging in the anal cavity

what the fuck...ahahah

Don't you just hate it when you slip , trip and stick your dick in?

Raise your hand if this is you

Pic related.

You're fat, sorry. We will shot you when we're at location.

dubs are with you

Niggers

Wrong number motherfucker

There's a faggot in my thread and how do i get rid of these dubs?!

Dude isn't a horse. Can't put'em down without a local anesthetic.

I've nailed my finger to a birdhouse accidentally

cumming

Can I get a small loan of a million dollars?

life is going to kill me

MY EMERGENCY IS I SMASHED MY FUCKING PS2 CONTROLLER BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAT FUCKING SAND OF OSIRIS OR CIEL AND THEN STEPPED ON THE BROKEN PIECES.

THERE ARE PIECES STUCK IN MY FEET.

I KICKED MY BEDROOM DOOR DOWN LEAVING A BLOODY FOOTPRINT ON IT, AND IT SQUASHED THE CAT

I'M DRINKING WHISKEY RIGHT NOW.

THANKS OBAMER.

Instructions not clear. Dick stuck in fan.

Isn't it supposed to be "instructions not clear, friend is dead, dick stuck in blender"

What's the number for dominoes pizza?