How do I get someone to leave my place?

How do I get someone to leave my place?

Here's the situation, I have a (friend) who's been crashing over for days but now won't leave.

She's unemployed, barely goes to school and all she does is sleep, eat all my food and smoke all my weed/use up all my data for internet.

I tried kicking her out but she said "call the cops". I know its the only way to get her out of here but id rather not resort to using cops just to get her out.

shes not my gf, just a girl who Iv been fucking for the past 4 years and we hang out. shes more like a shitty friend.

the only good thing about her is she spends all her money on weed (500$ every 2 weeks)
and I get to smoke for free every day.

what do Sup Forums?
how do I kick her out?

pic unrelated

Wtf I'm voting clinton

Nice trippies

Called this girl Ryan and the dude stopped posting pics. Did I guess accurate?

Let's see some nudes of the bitch. Then if you live in the YS I'll tell you how to evict her.

Fuck I meant US. Nudes por favor.

T-T-T TTTTRIPPLE C-C-COMBO

got trips

Because of 666 trips have a mental breakdown and fucking go insane. Smash shit. Scream about how the dark lord spread his wings for you and showed you the way. Buy pigsblood and pour it all over yourself.

Kill her. It might be obvious, but not if you use weed as an excuse. Tell them that she got killed by her dealer whom she owed money.

That won't drive her out. She'll just think she got extra high.

WTF? I JUST READ YOUR POST FOR REAL. YOU GET FREE WEED EVERY DAY? AND A GIRL? WHAT THE FUCK?

my plan isnt to kill someone its just to get her out of here

right now shes in my bed sleeping...its fucking 2:30pm in the afternoon and shes sleeping. wtf

I don't see the problem.. Girl living with you that smokes you out all day and is DTF?

OP there are worse things in life you know...

You are a fucking ass hole. Not an asshole. An ass hole. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. First you say that she smokes all your weed, but one of the last lines reads "and I get to smoke for free every day". Are you a fucking retard? Fuck you, man.

>smoke weed
>fuck bitch
>smoke more weed

Op king of faggots confirmed

My GF does the same shit, women like to sleep. If you really want her up just do something with her, like go to the park or out to eat or something.

shes a bit crazy/
tends to get mad at the drop of a hat

Move out to a better place and leave her their to pay her own bills

I thought she smoked all YOUR weed? Then you go and say she provides the pot. OP you sound like a whiney little bitch. Smoke some, fuck her, then kick her ass out. If it's your place and she has no legal right to be there, you can literally pick her up and throw her out.

Satan has a girlfriend
Satan has a girlfriend

Like it or not, OP
the bitch is entrenched, now

post nudes

whenever you find her asleep in the middle of the day, take some creepshots and post them on here, and let her know you are doing it.

Either she gets mad and moves out, or we all get to enjoy the pics. Win win OP.

shit on her every day until she leaves. How many days would you stay somewhere where you were literally getting shit on on a daily bases?

You might want to check the laws regarding this...

iv been getting free weed and sex for 4 years from the same ho

trust me eventually it gets old
whenever i buy weed she immediately smokes it all.
I pay for everything else
shes been here for almost 3 weeks
i pay for food
rent
bills
internet
car
gaz
smokes

all she pays is weed
its like a shitty relationship and i want out

>hail satan

ok OP i know this is going to sound crazy, but getting rid of this chick is going to require a little insanity..

step one.. find an even crazier, shittier girl to bring over.. do what you need.. post your shit on air bnb for like 4 fucking dollars or tell a hooker on craigslist she can setup shop in this bitches area.. she can use any of her makeup clothes or whatever.. make sure she know how much you hate the leech in your house so you can get scabby blowjobs in front of the other girl to make her jelly and you can both make fun of her non stop about how dirty she is, like "i would rather stick my peen in this homeless crack whore" eventually, getting used tampons and general vajeen funk sprayed all over her shit from the other girl marking territory will drive her off..

tl;dr you need to get another chick to fight fire with fire-

>not my gf, just a girl who Iv been fucking for the past 4 years and we hang out
here's a hint, that's a gf

Get that bitch drunk and guy you kinda know drunk. Tell guy she wants to fuck you. He porks bust a nut in her. His new baby's mama and problem.

Be a fucking man and throw her ass out. If she leaves the apartment at all: pack her shit and toss it outside and have the landlord change the lock.

That or stop being a pussy. Where do you live? You could call the cops and accuse her of being a drug dealer and she'll go away for a couple years.

this sounds eerily effective.

this is best solution

she smokes all my weed whenevr I buy

BUT she does provide most of the weed. every day she buys 25$ of weed at least. sometimes 50$ of weed per day

heres a creep shot of her

Now that Ive read that she's only been there for 3 weeks, ignore my bs,
This is diabolical and I like it.

Just be a man OP and tell her she can't stay. Tell her to take some fucking responsibility and stop acting like her mother.

if you pay rent..
don't you have the right to call the cops to have her removed
people like this never leave on their own, they have to be forced to do everything
chances are good though she'll flip out and accuse you of some shit to the police, so be careful

oh i can see where all the food money went

to

4 years for fucking THAT? Buckle up OP, you're like her beta provider only you're not married thank god. Dump that leech right on the street, tell her to go live with her dealer.

maybe leaked creepshots won't work after all, good luck OP.

thats not a gf

shes just a friend who comes over every week to get her brains fucked out by me and we smoke up.

sometimes we chill and do more like watch movies

not my gf, shes open and OK with me sleeping with other girls except she wants to hear about it

Instead of calling the cops, which i'm not sure would solve anything, call some friends and just grab her stuff and actually take her to some motel.
She's kinda calling for it with her behaviour.

If you let her stay too long, you will have to have her legally evicted. Kick her to the curb now, before it Is too late.

this, squatters rights cases are cancer. judges won't touch them if the defendant can prove they have no alternative, then you just have to hope she leaves of her own volition and change the locks afterward.

Just treat her like shit op. Or at least buy food for yourself only and change the wifi password. Easy

Tell her to show some boob, that the guys on Sup Forums are requesting it.

those tits are horrible

Ive been in the same spot more or less. Get a "real" girlfriend shell leave

you might think you're alpha, but you're not. You're beta as fuck.

So she's à fuck buddy and you seem to not be able to kick her out...Maybe you like fucking her more than you admit?

Careful about cops. She probably will accuse you of shit and you'll go to jail etc. Cops always side with woman in such cases, doesn't matter whos home it is.

Go through her phone while she is sleeping and get number from relatives and save them for later.

Then I would get all friendly, butter her up, ask her out on a date (movies etc)... then just leave her wherever it is. If you need locks changed, get a new one in preparation so you can do it quickly when you get home. Then take all her stuff, throw it into a box and put it outside your door.

Now you can choose to call her relatives, or the cops, or just wait to see what she does when she gets back. If you see her and she is going nutz or something, be prepared to make a video with your phone, be obvious about it and tell her on video you are recording her.

she wants me to call the cops so she goes to jail

says its easier to live with than her current situation.

she was already in jail earlier this year
called me every day instead of calling her bf (back when she had a bf)

shes a POS. scumbag girl. who lies and cheats and steals a lot of shit.

I enjoyed keeping her around for the free sex and drugs but her staying around is too much

heres her ass at my old place

Here's an idea. Act like you're madly in love with her. Bring her flowers, kiss her all the time, massage her, tell her you love her 100 times a day. After a while she won't be able to stand it and she'll just fuck off on her own. Just smother her in that romantic shit.

yeah but the cops wont take her to jail
did she break a law? warrant?

also im sure there's womens shelters and other resources

heres her tits
enjoy

More creeps of tits

No they'll make her leave and she probably wont talk to me again which im fine with actually

she might stalk me and try to get me into trouble on her way out

Congratulations! You have what i known as a common law wife, who is legally entitled to your assets as if you were properly married. 4 years? ,Sell everything, quit your job and disappear, or give her half of everything you own.

She is a manipulative bitch... it's to make you feel bad and have pity on her. Jus wait how she turn her story when cops show up. In either case, she won't be going to jail. Cops may even tell you that since you let her live at your place for free, she has some kind of right to stay at your place. Some places it may even be considered a common law marriage. Just get the fuck out as quickly as possible or you seriously loose more than some weed and food and internet...

yeah maybe just move

HAHA!
Im not american
so I dont have to follow these stupid laws

shes my ho
my slut
my whore
my pussy on demand
Iv been fucking her through her bfs and everything
shes bound to my cock
finally she just got up.
time to smoke a j

sounds like you control jack shit if you can't even get a bitch to leave

what state are you in?

OP can record himself in advance before he even makes the call to police.

Then if she says "OP was raping me before he called" OP can say "No I wasn't police, take a look at these recordings of me not being a criminal. I was suspicious she may falsely accuse me of crimes I didn't commit, so I recorded in advance"

>free weed
>free booty
Unless she is hideous, you are a fucking faggot op

Ty, nice tits on her. Are they sensitive? Does she enjoy having them played with?

allow her to stay under some fucked up conditions. like treat the bitch as your slave or something, make her wear gagballs, walk on 4 limbs, whip her ass all day etc. treat her like shit and she'll eventually leave
>>implying OP is alpha enough to pull this off

So she smokes up all your weed.. but also provides 3 ounces of weed each month.. what?

You guys are fucking idiots. He said he's known her for 4 years. She had a bf on and off and OP has been banging her once in a while. She's been staying at his place for

THREE WEEKS

Morons. Fucking read the thread.

either he wants her to leave or he doesn't

not sure what 3 weeks or 4 years changes
you only have a few options to make someone leave, or you leave

Change your wifi pasword
/thread

Everyone keeps talking about common law bullshit

>I tried kicking her out but she said "call the cops". I know its the only way to get her out of here but id rather not resort to using cops just to get her out.

?????????????????? LOL

what the fuck nigga take the bitch shit throw it outside. take the bitch throw her outside.

>Trip of satan

If she is on the lease, then you're fucked. Other than that, just kick her out. If she calls the cop tell them she's not on the lease and they'll force her to leave

Grow some balls and kick her ass out. If you're a real man you wouldn't feel bad about it and would tell her to eat shit if she was going through my food and wifi.

she would have to pay half the rent with cooking and cleaning

she already cooks and cleans around
cleaned my whole place 2 days ago

she buys about an ounce every few days
we go thru it like nothing
just did that !
she just smoked me up a fat j
gonna fuck her now
maybe after she cooks for me ill kick her out

Who the fuck is that woman Satan?

wtf dude u poor? why cant u have enough food 4 ur sex slave and hold ur dope u say when its time to smoke also cut the data plan maybe ull have food hobo!

WTF is the problem? you have a hooker that cleans and you pay her with weed,internet and food

so you have a girl who you fuck for free, she smokes with you for free, uses your internet, cleans and cooks for you, and sleeps on your couch. congratulations op. youre in a relationship.

sounds like a gf to me

>shes a POS. scumbag girl. who lies and cheats and steals a lot of shit.
>Doesn't explain what the problems are

Dude, it just sounds like you're being a bitch. Man the fuck up and be done with it, if you really want that.

From what I read though, sounds like you got it pretty decent. She may smoke your weed, but she is buying it in kind. Not many people even return the favor. She cooks and cleans (this should fucking explain itself), AND she sleeps on the couch. Idk about you faggots but, I don't like someone sleeping next to me waking me up n shit.

You've already been friends for 4 years. find some common fucking ground and keep her or stop being a pussy and walk away from the situation.

YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD OP.

THAT IS THE LIFESTYLE A STAY AT HOME MOM. SHE COOKS CLEANS PUTS OUT. WHAT ELSE FAGGOT?

Invite some bros over and tell her it's a gangbang

I'm down, what state? I'm in michigan, southeast

OP, as usual, is a huge faggot.
Just wait till she goes somewhere and change the locks.
Duh fucking retard.

Nice trips

Ha
Sw mich here

Call the cops and tell her that she threatened you for you trying to get her out of the house, and then go down to the court house and get a restraining order.

you dumb cunt this is what having a gf/wife is, at least this whore buys weed, i say keep her around

make her life hell. Start by turning on heater then loud music. Remove your internet or lock it down. Etc.