How fucked are you?

How fucked are you?

Looks like my aunt is going to sodomize me with a guitar.

my gf is going to shove a beer bottle up my ass...
hmmm...okay

My dad is going to shove a toilet paper roll up my asshole

Looks like my friend is gonna shove a pot of flowers up my ass

An Archpriest is going to shove a wall up my ass. Lovely!

realistically, that's probably the best outcome here

This girl I've been fucking is Gunna shove a Guinea pig up my ass. Can either go really good or really bad lol.

Bashimir is going stick a lamb up my brown-star!
oh no!

72 year old gay man is shoving an empty coke can up my ass?
When it crumples and gets sharp edges, it gun hurt.

Some dude I haven't spoken to in a year shoves a pillow up my ass
Not so bad

KEk there's a guitar to my left also. luckily i have no friends/contacts in my phone, jokes on you

>a lamb
>a
>lamb
Were the fuck are you? A petting zoo?

Not so fast, hot dog. How about the last person you talked to?

A chick called Chloe is gonna shove a desk up my ass, how fucked am I?

Anna is sticking an iPhone up my ass

my dad, fuck that

Jokes on you i don't hav any friends and have no contacts

Best mates gonna shove a whole memory foam pillow up my arse.

My friend Addy is gonna shove a razor blade up my ass. Holy fucking shit.

Looks like a very large man is shoving a standalone air conditioner up there, so

my brother is going to stick a fork up my ass.

>i dont like my brother enough to let him get away with that. Blood is coming

Sure you don't faggot

My mother-in-laws cousin (female) is going to shove a small screwdriver up my butt.

>Looks like my aunt is going to sodomize me with a guitar.
Again?

The second person in my contacts is sitting next to me. How does this work?

They're gonna climb up your ass like a centipede.

Only one option, bro. He or she will have to turn you into a sleeping bag. They gotta crawl in there feet first.

my dealer is gonna shove my gopro up there? no thanks.

Geez.
He's 6ft and wieghs 140kg

Then you're in for a bad time.

Good luck then.

my mom is going to shove an entire couch up my ass

My sister is 2nd on my contacts

Also to my left

Anons contact list:

Dad
Mom

My old probation officer is going to shove a flashlight up my ass. I'm ok with this.

sadly true

Bud is gonna eviscerate me with farrier's pliers.

Ima bleed out.