Sup Forums, I have juicy one for you

Sup Forums, I have juicy one for you
Wild hogs

>be me
>be living with parents still because end of highschool and no job
>be autistic faggot that can't get a gf even if I gave her a kidney
>during the summer break little sister is home all the time
>can't bust a nut at home, I'm starting to have blue balls
>I devise a plan
>there's a forest half a mile from my house, nobody walks through it until late fall or early spring
>say that I'm going running through woods
>family buys it
>every time I'd go to forest I'd jerk off

Continue?
I have everything prewritten
Just say more and I'll delliver

Just get it over with

Shameless self bump

Sounds like Maximum Autismo so cont OP

Snowy Penis Forest you say?

MORE

Fuck, the file got deleted, fuck, I'll write as fast as I can

Idiot. Goin to sleep. Night fagfarts

>Be OP
>Start greentext
>file deleted
>create new file
>"Candleja

>fast forward two months
>3 days ago
>come to the well known place
>look around
>nothing
>start porn (it's mute)
>whip out dick
>start the motion
>ohyeah.gif
>heard something
>oh shit
>fuuuuuck.mp3
>dick is still on hand
>see colour from a far
>snap out of shock and put dick back in pants
>crouch
>lucky me I have brown shirt and trousers
>unlucky me I'm pale as cottage cheese
>see from 100 ft away a fucking family of 4

Cont?

Kek

What the fuck is a candlej

>Fuckin' Family of four
This gonna be some incenst shit or what?

>they surprisingly don't see me
>what the fuck are they doing here
>wait until they are 250 ft away
>this is my chance
>start running
>like fucking retard I am I managed to stomp every leaf and branch
>crunchingintensifies.mp3
>managed to fall
>got up
>look around
>nothing to see
>run for 6 more mins
It gets juicier after this

No nigger

Just post already!

>can't run anymore
>decide to stop
>take a breathe
>I sound like a spastic cat
>my heart is pounding like an mk-47
>I need to scream
>shit here it goes
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.mp3
>sound like an autistic pig
>somebody probably heard it
>decide to walk some more
> after 10 mins I find myself in unknown part of forest
>finnaly can breathe normaly
>look around
>nobody here, no noise whatsoever
>decide fuck it, I won't have this chance in a longest time
>jerk off
>feelsoddman.jpg
Cont?

cont man just post it all ffs

no

Getting Juicy

Keep going or im jumping

>tired af
>decide to walk straight home
>took me an hour
> I was wet from sweat, it was like I fell in water
>shower myself
>lay in bed
>pass out
next day:
>I was preparing to go for a "run"
>lil sis says don't go
>saywhat
>says that new neighbours heard a wild hog and found tracks of it
>SAYWHAT.mp4
>appearently the family of 4 are new neighbours
>they went for a search of shrooms since where they used to live there were shrooms all year long
>they atleast didn't notice me
>they followed the tracks, and even heard me when I screamed
>my autistic screamed scared them of

Close to end, continue?

This shit got like lowkey funny now but yeah go on ig

Stop stopping just cont people are getting mad

>My autistic scream scared them off
>Wild hog

Why not jerk off in the bathroom like a normal person?

Trudat

...

>another day passes
>my balls are starting to hurt
>still can't go in forest
>turns out I got in even deeper shit
>hunters that live near the area I screamed went to forest to catch a wild hog
>mfw it was me
>mfw my time of running in forest is over
>mfw my balls are blue as deep sea
>mfw the fucking hunters caught a real hog

I have mixed feeling about this Sup Forums
Knowing that I used to jerk off in a forest with wild hogs
Knowing that my screams caused a wild hog season in the woods
Knowing that my balls are still blue and in pain

My sister litteraly sleeps in a room next to the bathroom

does she have a fucking window looking into it? WTF are the walls paper thin?

YOU KILLED THE HOGS YOU DEMON!
You must sacrifice yourself for them.
Do something stupid and post pic!

How fucking loud are you
turn the shower or the faucet on or something

Man stealth wank bro lol or go for a "long shower"lol

Pfff, my sister sleeps next to my room. Just mute the fucking porn, or Fap to pic's

Blame it on a spooky ghost

Hold on, in a minute

Would of been funnier if after you seen that family you got attacked mid jerk lol

are you satisfied

No it wouldn't

It's OK i guess.

Thank you OP, I needed a laugh tonight

You are welcome user, if there are some updates to this I'll post more in soon future

Thred is ded

Is this all that there is?

Op here, yeah this is all that there is

Awww shiet
Just when it started to get good

y`all fill up my heart

fucking terrible greentext. just so you know OP this weak ass shit will never be screencapped

I am fully aware of that

The premade text was better but since the file got deleted (my phone shut down and the file didn't save changes)