Some fucking bum keeps stealing cigarette packs off of my porch...

Some fucking bum keeps stealing cigarette packs off of my porch. I need ideas of what I could do to a pack of smokes that will make him stop coming on my porch and taking cigarettes. I was thinking of like soaking a pack in lighter fluid and letting it dry and leaving it for him to take.

Pic semi related.

just stick a real small firecracker in a few and then pack a little tobacco on top to mask the fuse....lettem light that and see how fun it is to steal

Or you stop leaving them outside like a fucking idiot then fag

I thought about that, but where I live it's not possible to get any kind of firecrackers.

this souds really good. i suggest coating tem in something like ghost pepper extract

I like the ghost pepper. Is there some kind of liquid form of ghost pepper?

Ricin, yo.

Why the fuck are you leaving your cigs outside?

just look up the recipe for gunpowder it's fucking trivial to make ffs

sounds like you deserve it. whenever i see free cigarettes, i take them. its their fault who leave them free for the taking.

Put rat poison or bleach on the mouth ends

Beacuse I honestly didn't think someone would come on to my porch to take a pack of smokes. The last time it happens was today in broad daylight. A pack was left outside for less then an hour before they were swiped.

Not when its someones porch, asshole

Put out a pack. Wait for him. Kill him. $Profit$

That's not an answer. Why would you not take them inside? What reason is there to leave them outside?

They make tiny black inserts that go in the tip of the cigarette that make them taste like crap. Most prank stores have them.

you can make your own! use high proof rubbing/isopropyl alcohol and a ton of peppers.

THIS

That's because your a bitch

Your idea is actually pretty good.

>I'd use kerosene

I do live in Texas. This could work.

Do it then find the fucker with burned up lips and put his punk ass on blast

While people shouldn't be taking other people's shit, what kind of fool thinks leaving their property outside, unattended, won't ultimately result in it being stolen?

Wait are you the guy who said you couldn't get access to fireworks?
If you live in Texas just buy some gunpowder from a gun store.

they obviously dont care if their cigs get stolen. why would they leave them outside if they did? they're better off in my pocket.

OP is trying to teach a lesson to somebody who takes his cigarettes. maybe the one taking them is teaching OP to take better care of his smokes.

Not him, but the kind that hasn't lived in a black neighbourhood.

put them in your pocket.

put coke in them
or just take your damn smokes inside

I live in a major city in Texas fireworks are ilegal here and I can't find them anywhere unless it's the 4th of July. Could I just pack a cigarette with gun powder?

that wouldn't do much, it would just burn the cig, no explosion or anything, you would need some kind of hard casing like the hard cardboard firecrackers have.

cum on the cigs
profit

Strychnine

Op here. It's not a big deal that my smokes get stolen they are cheap and I live like a block from a gas station. It's about this dude invading my personal space. For him to know I had cigarettes on the porch he either was watching me and saw me go inside, or he randomly walked up onto my porch and was looking for stuff to take. There is no way he could have seen the pack without coming onto my porch.

put a fake spider in the box ahahahahahah
it will be funny you don't need to harm them

who gives a fuck? take your smokes inside, you clearly care about them if you're whining on Sup Forums about them getting stolen. stop being a bitch, take them inside and grow a pair.

put 5$ in the pack along with a note 'buy your own cigs nigga"

Neither have I, but that doesn't mean shit. I live in one of the better areas of my city, and still I've had my car broken into, had shit stolen on my own property. Anybody that trusts their fellow humans to not steal their shit if they live in the U.S. Is a dipshit. Period.

i have an idea, leave a note saying you put ricin in the previous cigarettes and that he has a week left to live.

stop smoking nigger bait

1. why do you leave cigarettes on your porch
2. why do you smoke poor people cigarettes

> buy weed
> fill the pack whit weed
>wait the nigger
>call police on him
>one less nigger

Eat them establish dominance

are you poor?

>get trail cam
>punt trail cam on porch
>nigger tries to nig
>you walk out
>shoot nigger
>standin muh ground officer

Well I'm a pretty big guy so I've made it a point to make my neighbors think I'm a psychopath from day one so right now if I left my wallet out overnight it would still be there In the morning

Keep your packs inside? Retard.

I could easily do this. i could also release my Great Dane after him. Niggers are scared shitless of big dogs and mine will chase him down the street.

POISON ON GOD OIISOB THEN IT MAKE THEM LACE WITH FENTANYL

Yeah I bet you're a real badass. Doesn't make you any less stupid.

Top kek

Trespassing. I eat yo face legally now

I have lots of idea,
Toxic 6
Cracker 5
Drugs (hallucinogenic) 4
Semen 3
Spicy Sauce 2
Tea 1

Choose evil grade and respond to get more informations

do it faggot put a camera hidden near your pocket and stream that

Lace them with angel dust or some bath salt. Offer him your face to chew on.

Won't you be...my neighbor?

5 and 6

Liquid ghost pepper = pepper spray...spray a pack down with pepper spray and watch for bums writhing on the street with a swollen, red face full of mucus.

He's a big, tough guy like pic related. Online badasses always are.

Would that be effective overtime? Like when it drys on the cigarettes it will still fuck him up.

kerosene/lighter fluid "dry" by evaporating and won't be nearly as cool. Plus, they smell like fuel.

PROTIP:

you can return the trailcam to walmart for money back after the niggers been nogged, so you can get a fancy iphone or android enabled one too!

source: im an experienced nigger hunter

yep!

during evaporation, the lighter molecules that act as the solvent (mostly alcohol, with some water in it) shoot off into the air, leaving the heavy ones behind!

It's probably some kid stealing them ...
When I was younger my friends and I would run all over the neighborhood into peoples yards and shit. Only kids could get away without people noticing.
Otherwise, if some grown ass adult was stealing shit off peoples porches people would notice.
But, if you're smart OP just don't leave them sitting on your porch, problem solved. Or, I'd go with the hot pepper extract.

Firecracker is obvious. Toxic, well there are a lots from rizin (deadly) to funny things like bath salts, Angel trumpet, ...

How would I go about doing this without blinding myself? Is there a way to open a pepper spray can without spraying shit everywhere?

This men, he can't do anything. It won't kill him. And he will probably Wakeup in psychatry or naked in woods

How would I do it with bath salt? Can I still buy that shit at the store?

Put md in cig

Yup - it should still work after drying.

If you have access to DMT, you could also put a little chunk of that about 1/4 the way into the cig. He'll think the cigs are possessed by evil spirits. DMT + pepper spray would be an epic combo. His mouth would start burning just as he blasted off and would likely create a terrifically terrifying temporary tragedy, thereby training the twit to take tobacco elsewhere.

Have you tried NOT leaving them on the porch you fucking autist?

There are plenty 'research chemicals' legal to buy. Just buy in your own country, nobody will control. Try to find sth hallucinogenic. You probably can get some Samples at some stores for free too

well personally, im not sure. im not that user! im the one who suggested making your own extract from peppers.

It will be pretty difficult to do that with pepperspray

If i were to try that, i'd collect a lot of the liquid by spraying the SIDE of a drinking glass. MADE OF GLASS. then use a dropper if you have one, or just a shot glass or something and very thinly pour it onto the brown edge where tobacco is exposed. if you get any on the paper it will stain it!


if that was your method, i'd try to make a mask from a shirt for nose and mouth, and close eyes tightly. it shouldnt bother you at all


ALso, this could kill the person. id still recommend the gamecam+ shooting them in the leg instead of getting them to smke pepper spray xD

theres already rat poison in the smokes themself

Suck his dick because you're obviously too stupid to take them inside. Is this a meme or some shit? Jesus

the user you are replying to is making stuff up!

For toxins, you have a limited amount of choices. Im quite certain all organic ones (like ricin or angel trumpet that he is recommending) while be destroyed as its burned.

Youd want some sort of inorganic poison, I believe bromine or chlorine from a pool store should make him sick!


not quite, and only in very small amounts

DMT wont make you trip from a regular lighter in a cigg lol!

you need a great hit to do more than feel a bit tingly

Turn a clear, Rubbermaid container upside-down (outdoors; hopefully no wind). put cigs on a plastic plate under upside down Rubbermaid continer; douse at close-range with pepper spray while holding breath, lifting the Rubbermaid container as little as humanly possible, with rubber gloves/long sleeves protecting arms.. swimming goggles might help too, just as added precaution. Let cigs dry outside; handle with rubber gloves after you're done.

I'm allergic to rubber

ah, yeah...forgot about the big first hit needed. Dang. Maybe scopolamine from datura then?

Op here. What if I dumped out the tobacco and mixed it with some k2 type shit and filled the cigarette back up. And then did this

then use neoprene or whatever non-permeable alternative doesn't irritate your skin.

Little flakes of magnesium ribbon.

this

You want to punish (possibly even kill, with your stupid ideas) somebody for taking something that you're leaving, literally, right out for the taking.

Dumbass. You are responsible for your shit, not other people.

I say rat poison

Technically you should use ethanol/ethyl alcohol if you want to make extract that's actually safe to consume.

Stupid and confident are two different things if you demand respect people think twice

lol

when drank, not smoked newfag

lrn2chemistry

yeah man, surely op will hop on down to south american for some good ol scopolamine

why are you naming exotic things? you need to name things local lol