You're sent to Rio right now - in your current shape - to compete in the Olympics...

You're sent to Rio right now - in your current shape - to compete in the Olympics. What event do you pick to cause the least amount of embarrassment for you and your country?

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Doesn't matter. I would just say I have injury and that I'm unable to compete.

I'd just get piss ass drunk and get sent home

Man, Steiner got to me back then.

youtube.com/watch?v=jPwDWMfy7Z4

Table tennis.

Basketball. I'd just sit on the bench, but I'm tall enough to pass for an actual player

100m sprint

football

air rifle. nothing could go wrong. we don't have any medals anyway.

Air rifle for sure

100m sprint

Archery. Nobody gives a fuck anyway.

Football as it's the sport I'm best at. Plus in a team sport there isn't as much focus on me as an individual

did he died?

road cycling, I'm amateur cyclist, pretty decent as a climber.

Water polo.

I swam in college and could serviceably sprint for the ball, tread water, and flail around to block passes. No one watches water polo, so no one would even notice my weak-ass passes.

I guess I'd just buy a wig and join the female Basketball team.

Find a flaw.

Equestrian. That is literally on the horse to perform

any track event. just get yourself DQ'd then go back to the orgy

Equestrian

Would just sit and let an horse do the job

>flag

so underrated post

I'm not tall enough, but I'd just go full Dellavedova and tackle motherfuckers

Fuck man that's hard hitting

Football, what else?

77kg weightlifting

Least embarrassing? One of the events with a shit-ton of people like road cycling, or the marathon, where I could just sink into the back and no one would notice.

This. Would embrace being a benchwarmer and occasional goon.

>literally get killed by having the horse fall on you.

Boxing
Just dance about for 3 rounds and get a couple pot shots in

I'd go as a tranny and compete in women's basketball. Might even be the star of the games.

Golf. I competed at a pretty high level in college.

Walking

i can really walk fast

you would be noticed in road cycling, because it's ridden in a circuit. you would've taken a lap or more.

Any sport where I have to move my hand back and forth rapidly?

This.
I've seen quite a few Muhammed Ali videos, I'll just dance around the guy and hit him once in a while. If I happen to win, well that's just a bonus.

table tennis

>I'd go as a tranny
as if you have to change much of your current lifestyle

Pole vault.
I actually did that when I was younger and was pretty damn good at it, was even considered by Bayer to enter their sports program but declined because being a severe manlet I would never actually win anything.

What the FUCK is wrong with you?

Did you really think this was funny?

This is the worst "banter" I've ever fucking seen

Pimmelfechten

Same

"""""Box""""" like Mayweather and just hug them the entire time.

Field Hockey

Then I'll just crash early and leave the race. No one is going to blame someone for crashing.

I'm just minimizing embarrassment here.

women volleyball

fuck yeah

weightlifting. my lifts are almost as good as the best women's :(

Voley.

Taekwondo

I constantly spar with guys who go to nationals and had a training day with Steven+Jean Lopez

I'll still get fucked up regardless though

>worst "banter"
dat irony

the two sports I was best at as a kid were soccer and rugby but good god would i not be able to play rugby now

i suppose I could manage to not completely embarrass myself at CDM tho

>implying either country that im a citizen of even made the lympix for mens divegrass

100m obstacles, I did ok when i was a kid

maybe you should try spinning

Female basketball,volleyball or football.
Male table tennis.

Women football and Rugby or any other women team sport. I should be better than most of these women there. (Im a guy)

Judo as no one watching have a clue of whats is happening and most of the time even the athletes don't know if a score was valid or not, it's basically a "wait for the judges decide" type of sport.

kek

MAG, I think, because I run parkour. I have a lot of strength in my core and arms, and I can jump well

100 meters.

I'm very quick.

Can run a 100 in under 12 easily so I suppose that wouldn't be a huge disappointment

It's actually kinda difficult

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racewalking#Rules

Keeping contact with the ground for 50km, while judges are watching every step you take, has got to be mentally taxing

>fucked up
>in foam tag
Kek you'll just be lightly tapped twice and it'll be over

I'd say trap shooting or air rifle, as a kid I went to a national 10 meter air rifle competition, I was ranked like 15th in u18.

rowing cox.

You would be launched over your fucking head by an Olympic judoka. That is by far the worst answer to this question I've ever seen. Anything remotely physical like that or wrestling or swimming where it's very obvious when you fuck up is an awful choice.

And it could end in a few seconds.
There are also more than 1 fights at once in the arena so only a few watch your fight.

I'm in pretty good shape for that kek

swimming, as i was surprisingly good in my teens

would still be embarrassing as fuck in my current shape

Badminton.

My placements on shots was impeccable back in gym class.

To get into the French women's team I don't think you'd need to dress up.

water polo as that's the only olympic sport I've actually played myself
plus I could just sit on the bench and be fine
>Germany not qualified
well fuck
Archery I guess, at least I wont have to actually move much

Is wrestling still an olympic event?

I wrestled for one season as a kid and I can still beat most amateurs.

A pro would just wreck me immediately but it might be fun.

50m rifle prone

i'm a fairly experienced hunter (deer stalking) so i reckon i'd do ok, and i've fired countless .308 and .243 from prone, at 50m or more on the range and out in the field. it's been a while since i shot .22 lr though.

or as one of the rowers when they have like 8 in a boat

just have to keep in time nobody would notice how little power i'm producing

Trap.

Shot 50 of 50 in my league last night.

Embarrassed merica doesn't have anyone competing in trap, only skeet.

Fencing
looks quite fun and you'd be out in less than a minute

If you're wrestling freestyle then the match would be over really quickly. All it takes is a quick sweep single leg to the mat and then two leg laces.

are you actually twelve?

Maybe 100m?

>Nobody expects us to win
>Go out in the heats
>Pretend to pull a muscle and stop after a few metres

Have you ever watched olympic table tennis lad?

You'd get embarrassed.

youtu.be/E6xZ4maYsc4

jeezus those little asians go ham af.
what makes the asian such a superior athlete?

Basketball since I'm tall

team rowing

hope im not underestimating the skill involved to even move properly

weightlifting

>put a huge lift as my start weight >limp to the bar
>pretend to start the lift
>fall over holding my calf
>repeat once more for dat heart
>pull out
>announce retirement next day

The women rugby 7's. Even the final looked like a high school tournament and I would probably be accepted being a man with all the butch dykes they have running around.

Rugby 7's. The coach will realise I'm an explosive impact player and put me on for the last 2 minutes. I may not have to do anything and not embarrass my family, and more importantly stay fresh for the orgy.

the fact that the competition happens at a desk

shooting

t. america

>boat keeps pulling to the other side
>crashes to other boats

least amount of embarrassment

I used to be a halfway decent swimmer, so probably that. Nobody watches Swimming Event #485, and if Ido the butterfly I'll only look slightly less terrible than the other competitors.

Handball I guess, our team sucked too much to even make it to the olympics so I'd probably be not shit

boxing cause when i get punched the first time and i go down i can just say "he caught me with a good shot, what can you do" which is what anyone embarrassed says

doesn't matter, i'd get sent home after doping tests because im such a degenerate

Marathon. There's so many athletes there that no one would care.

It would be very obvious that you don't have the physique for it unless you're in the fatass class though. Nobody would be fooled.

100m. Over in under 12 secs. Or alternatively pretend to pull a muscle and quit

lol

Is this what happened to Eric?

table tennis
Im pretty good myself
obviously not olypmic level, or even amateur competetive, but i could score a few points i think

i'd wear a tracksuit

Death march. What could possibly go wrong?

Have you seen the swimmers and runners in some of the preliminary rounds?
Apparently this happens all the time