Prison Survival Survey. How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?

Prison Survival Survey. How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?
>Height
>Weight
>Body Type
>Gender
>Ethnicity
>Ever been in a fight?
>Personality Type
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
inb4 "I don't want a cellmate" too bad, just pick someone, and the average prison isn't co-ed so y'all can't just pick the one girl in the thread

>195cm
>98kg
>Solid, not ripped but not fat
>M
>Australian/Caucasian
>Lots
>Extroverted
>Depends... I would probably try to avoid confrontation if I could... if he assaulted me I would go for his throat, eyes or groin and attempt to do as much damage as possible as quickly as possible.
>No one else in this thread yet... anyone who was easy to get along with and wasn't in for a child sex crime.

My stats.

>5'11
>165lbs
>Muscular but not bodybuilder
>Male
>Cherokee Indian
>Plenty, taekwondo state champ, and NAGA champ
>Introvert
>Fight, even if you don't win you prove a point
>This nigger would be fine
>I have been to jail before
>old timestamp

you would get raped when in a jail with lots of nigs

>5'10
>185
>kinda average, some fat.
>male
>Latino
>Nothing serious no
>Introvert
>fuck if I know lol. Those kinda of decisions are made in the moment. Right now, i'd probably do nothing.
>I'm alright

>Six foot two
>190
>Muscular but a little bloated
>Male
>Middle eastern (not arab)
>Few times
>Personality type? Don't even know what to say. I'm laid back but I will stand up for myself.
>Depends if he's well connected or not
>OP

Ausfag.
Been to jail twice. Only got in one fight. Dude threw condoms at me and said your cell or mine. Instafight. Kicked the shit out of him then his friends got involved and pummeled me. Got moved to a new block immediately.
Im a standard 4channer except I dont have a neckbeard and im not morbidly obese

Who actually judges our likelihood of survival? You OP?

>6'3"
>260lbs
>former d-liner, mix of muscles and some fat
>m
>as white as it gets
>a lot when I was younger
>extrovert
>take him to the ground with me and smack his head repeatedly onto the ground to cause as much damage as possible. Take his place in prison hierarchy this way.

I'll take this one as cellmate, looks like a man with moral standards-

anyone whose actually been to jail/prison

You watch to much fucking tv. Prison aint like that. You kick someones ass over food you aren't perceived as a badass. His homeboys will fuck you and leave you bloody.

You're idiots lol
If you don't knock the motherfucker out you're showing everyone you're weak and from there they'll just fuck with you nonstop and probably jump you.

>5'8
>220
>mostly fat but muscular around arms, upper body and calves
>male
>mexi/white/filipino
>more than a few
>asshole
>punch him square in the jaw and assault him while he's down
>no one else because you're all huge pussies at the time of typing this

Are you fucking stupid? That's literally what prison is.

>193cm
>105kg
>Built fat
>Kiwi
>Just knee-boxing when drinking
>Pretty quiet
>I would try avoid fighting but would if it came to it
>I would probably choose this guy
. Sounds like he would have my back and could teach me something about real American culture

Fuck yeah this guy is my room mate.

You ever been inside?

Seems like you must have been not leaving your room for too long, that you take threads like too serious.

>Prison Survival Survey. How screwed are you if you get sent to prison?
>>Height
5'9" or 5'10"
>>Weight
240 lbs
>>Body Type
Slightly muscular and overweight
>>Gender
Heterosexual male
>>Ethnicity
Hispanic
>>Ever been in a fight?
Never. People never messed with me.
>>Personality Type
Depends on the setting. Normally I'm quiet/loner, but I imagine I'd be as social/easygoing as those around me in prison.
>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Call him out on it, attempt a diplomatic approach, but hold my ground if that won't resolve things.
>>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
This nigger

>5'7"
>176lbs
>Muscular, low body fat
>Male
>White
>Haven't been in a fight but am coordinated, fast, and strong
>Make friends relatively easily, people gravitate towards me and are rarely aggressive towards me
>probably wouldn't do anything this time, if he kept it up i would confront him

>>Height
6
>>Weight
225
>>Body Type
not obese. not skinny
>>Gender
male
>>Ethnicity
hispanic, but im white skin white name
>>Ever been in a fight?
never
>>Personality Type

>>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
probably wouldnt do shit. but id be way more fuckin careful next lunch time.
>>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate

Yes. I have.
How about you?

>197cm
>130kgs
>Solid, bit chubby but not fat
>Male
>Maori/European
>Yes
>Protector, Charismatic
>Firstly wouldn't have let that happen.. But nobody takes my fucking food. RIP CUNT
>700934765 I'm white. you're white. as long as you're not gonna be a faggot or cry in your bed at night I'll have your back mate.

>

Actually I'm choosing you. Kiwi's gotta stick together. (your post wasn't up when I replied)
>700935156

>Height
5'6
>Weight
124lbs
>Body Type
skinny with b cup boobs
>Gender
MtF transgirl
>Ethnicity
white
>Ever been in a fight?
no
>Personality Type
enfp, shy, friendly, I’ve been told I’m a bit naive, sarcastic
>You're eating lunch and a large fellow walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
apologize
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
since this country sucks, I’d probably get sent to a male prison, so please be my friend and protect me

>1m83
>79kg
>Build
>M
>Withe (Irish)
>Ever been in a fight? Yes. w/l ratio : 3/1
>Personality Type ? Talkative, smooth talker
> " - Alright dude you won. No more "baboche" for the C block. HEY GUYS ! DO YOU HAVE HEARD THAT, NO MORE FUCKING BOOSE FOR THE C BLOCK, AT LEAST FOR 2 WEEKS... IF SOMEONE WANNA COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS, ASK THIS FATASS THAT DOES'NT KNOW ABOUT CIVILITIES... I won't make any more, sit on it."
> this dude sounds nice, always need some muscle to stand up with the brain.

Prison user here. I'll r8 you fags.

You'll be fine in prison

Assuming you aren't lying you'll do good, but get into a lot of fights if you brag about being able to fight

Of you didn't fight the guy that took your shit you'd get labels as a bitch and wouldn't make it

Same as the guy above, you have to fight back. No exceptions.

You're big, you should be fine

You'd get fucked with but you'd have homies that would have your back

You would get fucked with everyday if you didn't fight the first guy. If you picked fighter user as your homie you would be okay as long as he didn't beat your ass and steal your shit too

You'd get the fuck beat outta you, then cry and get put in pc.

You'd honestly just get stabbed

You'd get your ass beat too. Better hope you don't like commissary because you'll be selling that for protection (which doesn't work)

>what happens when a Sup Forums user from Sup Forums goes to prison

You'd get sent to the alt ward in Amerika. You just have lots of gay sex and a few fights until you died from HIV

>6'1"
>115kg
>Stocky, muscled & built like concrete
>Male
>Caucasian/European, Kiwi
>Plenty of fights, have combat training
>INFP (I do well in social situations, just don't particularly like them)
>Beat his ass and then use it to leverage my position in the prison
>Who gives a fuck.

About 5'7
Guessing 160 pounds..?
Skinnier, but so flexable I may as well be rubber
male
Japanese(ish?)
Way more fights than I can count, and my attention span would only let me count to about 100 anyways. And only if it were for hide and seek.
Generally unintelligent, but always stands up for friends. Like, ALWAYS stands up for friends.
I've destroyed cities for an offense as grave as stealing my food.
Anybody can be my roommate if they make good food. Or are funny. Or are a walking talking skeleton.(which can be categorized as funny)

>get sent to prison

Lol only niggers and low lifes go to jail so your question is invalid because it will never happen.

Also look at all these tough guys itt that wouldn't even lean forward in their computer chair to pick up their chicken tendies they dropped let alone fight someone.

>Height
6"
>Weight
220
>Body Type
Built
>Gender
M
>Ethnicity
Mexica/white
>Ever been in a fight?
Plenty of times
>Personality Type
Extrovert
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Fight
>Pick someone else in the thread to be your cellmate
this guy because he sounds like a big pussy who can be intimidated to do my do what I say/be my little bitch.

What did you "go in for"?

Prison guard here. I think I'd be alright. I'd run the underground honeybun market like a boss.

Also will answer questions about what prison is actually like.

honestly if you were willing to protect me i'd maybe ok with that

chea boys we can hook up a hangi in the yard. I'll bring the paua and do-bros

crack up

do you fuck the prisoners?

Your b8 is shit friendo

Assault with a dangerous.

I got off super fucking lucky for being white and getting a good lawyer. I only did a year.

Been in jail a few times as well for minor shit like getting too drunk.

>prisoners

Inmates* and no.

I dunno though bro I hear Mt Eden has a proper fight club ring there so those uces can fight good

drunkards cells is not jail.

I'd protect you as long as you understood that your stuff was my stuff. and I would pretty much own your commissary too.

>6"2
>150
>thin and lanky
>M
>white
>yes
>pretty social
>"Why would you dress like a monkey and swing from things homie?"
>

nice try, feds

How fucked you are in prison has nothing to do with how strong you are. It's all about how you interact with everyone else and how you behave.
Big difference between min and max security too.

>Assault with a dangerous
Story on how you got assault with a dangerous?

take any bribes? Or get threatened/extorted?

Neither is wrong, moron. Faggot on the internet playing prison guard confirmed!

my uncle works at the new wiri prison bro i'll get us in good. even took the opening day tour inside

Shut up faggot you wouldn't own shit in prison.

what does commissary mean?

chur cuz! Just gotta find us some mongies to blaze with in there and we good

Commissary is prison slang for asshole.

Ever been?
Your account that your family puts money in. You can buy shit like food at the shop.

Nigger sighted.

If you cause enough trouble you end up in jail

I hit a guy with a metal pole

already heard a few guards picked up charges for slanging dope inside haha, good ole serco aye.

יא גבר

What are they gonna bribe me with? Inmates don't have money they have inmate accounts. I'm not gonna take a bribe of some rollies or stamps lmao.

Well there's not a fucking chance I'm posting anything department related to Sup Forums because I don't feel like getting fired so I guess you'll have to take me at face value.

Where the inmates buy shit with their accounts.

huh.. that's oddly sophisticated
yeah that's what the dictionary said when I looked it up so I was confused what that had to do with prison

I thought that was only for jail(comissary)

Huge difference between min and max. I have 2 mates who spend one spent 2 years and the other 4 in a prison in Aus that was low-med security and most the people in there are either thieves or drug dealers (young normal blokes who got caught with bulk drugs in night clubs)

My mate that was there for 2 years only witnessed 2 fights and didn't experience any physical confrontations and my mate who did 4 years was part of an education program (he was a teacher who was arrested for torching his ex wives lover's car) and a lot of people respected him for teaching them how to apply themselves to finding employment once they finished their predominantly short terms.

>6'5
>195lbs
>muscular but not as strong as I used to be
>Male
>White
>I was in the army
>I keep to myself
>Smash the food tray up into his face, while disoriented break his nose and knock him out, proceed to eat his food if he has any
sounds pretty good

You sound mad :^)

>יא
Heil Hitler

>180cm
>70kg
>not fat, not muscular
>male
>slav
>few times
>introvert
>at fight take something heavy (If i can find it) and try to beat him

i made the guards my bitch. got one fired and had the rest exempt me from shake downs and let me transfer to whatever job i wanted out of fear. which i then used to always volunteer to clean the medical and psych pods with girls, and sat around talking to them the whole time, and work the jobs where i could actually fuck the girls because they were unsupervised i was allowed to walk the halls unsupervised (minus the 2 people watching the 2000 cameras)

>Height
5'11
>Weight
155 pounds
>Body Type
Mr. Skeltal+a bit of sinew to keep it together
>Gender
Straight male
>Ethnicity
Whiter than white
>Ever been in a fight?
Shoving match shit, nothing worth saying that I actually won
>Personality Type
Likable comic relief with a little temper
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?
Probably laugh at him. If he walks away, whatever. If he kicks my shit in, probably laugh
at him. A week from now, I'll shank him in the kidneys while he's playing basketball.
>Cell mate
One of these shit heads to keep the heat on them not me

>6'4 (194cm)
>93kg
>Mostly muscle (working out for 11 years 7% bf)
>Male
>White (Denmark)
>Countless times
>Confident but not an asshole, kind to anyone who is kind to me
>Confront him about it if he thinks he's tough and is okay with eating my shit I'll fuck his face up till it changes color
>Na yall pick me

they could threaten you or your family

6"3'
300bs
Fat but strong
Male
White, American redneck
Several
Extrovert
Grab his balls and squeeze until they pop while biting into his torso
In prison it would have to be with another white guy to avoid being shanked in some gang initiation shit. Preferably someone smart enough to at least play chess.

European fag here

>185cm
>83kg
>thin legs, kinda thick arms + deformed chest and abdominal fat
>male/straight
>White German no blond
>yes twice and one group brawl
>joking a lot. Seem serious but fucking scared of fighting, cry like a mad bitch if I do but I kinda won every fight cause fear makes me go crazy
>I know I'm his bitch if I let it pass and prolly get raped or enslaved. I'll pick up someone's tray and spin it at him and then prolly jump him or get jumped. Prolly will do anything to show I'm a unpredictable psycho who will shank you if his twisted mind tells him to.

My mate?I need a tank

if you don't know how inmates bribe guards you're not a guard.

haha you're gonna have to bring in the conepiece and lighter in your butthole though bro

Your reading comprehension skills are off the charts.

>I hit a guy with a metal pole
Isn't a story; it's a statement. Fucking retard. No wonder you went to prison.

oh.. so it IS about financial stuff, why did that guy say it was about my ass

> I'll shank him in the kidneys while he's playing basketball
> One of these shit heads to keep the heat on them not me

dude, really ?

Did two years inside, never got punked, never had to beat anyone up. Told the gossips a couple stories to keep people scared, was polite without being generous, didn't start shit, and kept my temper. Stories were good enough that a guard thanked me once for not killing a guy, even though I'd never laid a hand on anyone in sight of any person there. LOL

>that white guy in the back

>Height
5'9

>Weight
125lbs

>Body Type
Slim

>Gender
Female

>Ethnicity
White

>Ever been in a fight?
Nope.

>Personality Type

I'm quite introverted. But I don't really know my specific type.

>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do?

Just let him keep it.

185
106kg
pretty muscular from years of hard manual labour, wide as a bookshelf basically(not fat just really wide shoulders and)
White/eastern european (not slav)
Lots probably atleast 30 fights

if someone would take food off your tray its a test and if you tolerate it you're basically saying that you're a cuckhold and you'll be fucked with endlessly, no reason to fight him but sure as hell won't tolerate it
extrovert

>6 1
>93kg / 205lbs
> big shoulders no abs but not really fat either
>m
>Irish
>Ever been in a fight? plenty
>ENFP
>I would lose my shit, even if i knew this guy would kick my ass. everyone needs to know u can't fuck with my food
> this guy cos european and not some american dreamer

Sorry, didn't read the last part correctly. Just let him eat the rest of it and do nothing.

Well you sure do bullshit like a convict.

Nobody takes convicts threats seriously. They never threaten us anyways because that's automatic box time. The only time they pop shit is when they're in keeplock. This is what we call being a "cell gangster".

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

I didn't realize this was a cringe thread

I don't recognize this language

Raped.

Sorry sistah

>6 Feet/187cm
>220~lbs/113kg
>Fatty with muscle underneath
>Male
>Caucasian
>Not in the last two years, before that plenty
>Introverted, but can get into autistic fit of rage with retard strength
>I'd probably be a bitch until he attacked me, then use my retard strength to topple him, sit on his chest and beat his head

> I choose cause I always get along with aussies

>Height - 6 FEETS 5'
>Weight - 150kgs
>Body Type - BIG FAT CUNT
>Gender - MAN
>Ethnicity - RUSSIA - GERMANIC
>Ever been in a fight? - EVERY DAY IS FIGHT I HAVE STABED
>Personality Type - I AM FUN GUY
>You're eating lunch and a large muscular guy walks up to you and grabs food off your tray without asking and eats it. What do you do? I REMEMBER FACE AND TAKE HES FOOD EVER DAY AFTER THES. IF HE TRY STOP ME I CHOKE WITH ARMS
>Cell mate - >>No.700935606 URE' BUTHOLE IS MINE

I see what you're saying here but like really is
some nice guy going to fix it either

(know this from experience of being jailed a couple of times (no longer than a couple of weeks a time from minor drug charges and soccer riots/fights)

If you are female chances are a male isn't going to come up and eat your food unless it's a guard you stupid bitch.

dude, stan someone is the easiest way to strat some cosmic shitstorm, that'll probably land on your face and butt. (in this order)

stab*

Yeah, but that was his fucking question. I would do the same if it was another female taking my food.

Just let them have it.

Wanna be cellmates?

>1'73 m
>70 kg
>athletic
>straight male
>countless times, i also did boxing
>pretty chill guy but i will defend myself if provoked
>prolly laugh it off and plan for shanking that bitch

>6'4 for Americans
>110kg
>Muscular
>Male
>Eurasian? (Kazakh)
>A few
>Fairly calm
>Attempt to cripple him if he isn't a "big guy"
>
Dis nigger

:(

Alright you're my new cell mate
How you plan on garnering respect with an all out
fist fight? I ain't a big man