Useless superpower thread. I'll start, the power to speed up the growth of plants but only at an extra speed of...

Useless superpower thread. I'll start, the power to speed up the growth of plants but only at an extra speed of .5 seconds

Other urls found in this thread:

discord.gg/NCfUf
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

The power to moderate a Mongolian outlaw butter churning forum, but you do it for free.

The power to start retarded threads like this one

I have the power to read my own mind

The power to not be fat in america

the power to climb any tree at a moderate speed

The Power to mind control women.
Only Works on 7 year olds.

...

most Sup Forumstards on here would love to have that power.

I can hear the ocean whenever I put my ear against the sun.

...

the power to turn invisible, but only in the dark

The ability to glow in the dark, but only ftom 8a to 4p

the power to predict dubs. Checkem

Just fucking useless

>speed
>time without distance
u w0t m8?

Ultra-sticky nipples, your nipples will attach to anything except really slippery stuff.

The power to breathe air with 1% more oxygen in it.

That's not a useless superpower.
Everything athletic becomes easier.

The power to speak to glass. Glass will not speak back though it will understand you.

Why do Jews have such big noses?

How? It's just breathing normal air... that's SLIGHTLY more oxygenated.

The power to chose between smelling normally, and having a slightly worse sense of smell. Useful for REALLY bad farts I guess...

The power to glow slightly in the dark.

The power to communicate with telepathically with aliens but only at a short distance.

The power to generate as much electricity as a potato at will.

TOP KEK! Also, checked.

so they can smell copper pennies and zinc nickels from the ground

The power to go blind but only in awkward situations

The superpower to make your fingers bend the other way for 10 seconds a day.

be easily able to hack foreign bee cultivation forums

i can be invisible too but when nobody's looking at me

Any of the greater powers in oblivion

To instintly lose a boner when you get one. This can not be controlled.

You mind control them so they crave your dick as soon as they're legal

The Power to always know if you can see with your eyeballs

The power to remember any name you hear. Not useless, but not super.

The ability to see through clothes but it only works on ugly women

When speaking of traveling, sure, your argument makes sense.

What op is suggesting here is shortening the total elapsed time that a plant takes to reach maturity from seed.

This could colloquially be referred to as a concept termed 'growth speed'.

the man said to control 7 year olds nowhere does it say you can control them once theyve aged are you really this dumb?

The Power to earn infinite money, but only while working a day job and only receiving 7$ an hour at a time

The power to become superman for .0001 seconds an hour.

Humans already do this but our eyes are not sensitive enough to see it.

The Power to Flush the toilet with your mind, but only while your hand is touching the leaver

kek

this would be nice to fuck with people
"hey was that guy just fucking superman?" "What?"

I know, but it's to glow slightly more.

FUN FACT, if you remove the lense of the eye you can see UV light, and see people slightly glow!

Learn to read nigga

You break their mind so bad they will go through puberty craving your dick and latch on to you as soon as they become legal. You just take advantage of the small window they stay 7 yo and get your own legal fuckdoll

because air is free, duh

The power to know what life would be like if you were successful

The ability to make people think you have super powers for 1 second per life time.

The Power to Understand and Comprehend on a 3rd grade level

discord.gg/NCfUf
HOT BOB ROSS PRE MATURE BOB ROSS JUST BOB ROSS THOUGH

Stopping time, but only when you are jumping.

The power to always be awake, but still require sleep to function properly

the one time ability to bring back to life one homo sapien that has been dead for at least 12 thousand years
this does not include the ability to understand or be understood by that person

spiderpam, spiderpam, does whatever a spider can.

Nipples chaffed, out of breath, here comes spider pam!

The power to become a cop and shoot unarmed black teens

The power to make 3 farts per day NOT SMELL at all.

The power to be a magnet for bullets, but only if you are an unarmed black teen

edgy

I believe that is a racial ability in 5th ed

The ability to glide, 5 centimeters from the ground and only from side to side.

The power to see yourself in third person

Best one yet
Made me laugh a little

This is a power I WISH I had.

It'd almost be like a spidey sense. You could be such a badass!

That's pretty damn useful
You'd be aware of your surroundings more
You'd not be supposed by anyone
And you would never need a mirror

If have this

I would actually really like this one

>tfw i started these threads

ability to help niggers out of the ghetto
>we all know why this is useless

The ability to solve complex problems, but no one believes your answers are correct.

>Speed of 0.5 seconds
Starts a thread, a shot one at that, with a shit post. Fuck off

That would be really cool tbh

...

If by speed you mean .5 seconds per second, that's a huge difference you Moran.

faggot

no man
only means that it's ready for the harvest half a second earlier

The power to see the future but you forget as soon as you see it

Communicate with fish

Power to die, but only be used once every 70-80 years and you can only die once.

...

Try go climb on a mountain 2000,3000m high. Some % less oxygen but you have already less power and even can die if you already have problems. 1% is a lot. most of oxygen we breath using the organs(stomach!, lung, ...) and the brain

what if i dont use it?

The power to be a nigger

the ability to find literally anything sexist
came across a girl today that has that superpower
>her friends and she are talking so loud I can't help but overhear
>one friend stats talking about having seen some squirrels at a park
>the girl w/ the super power then proclaims that squirrels are sexist
>friends don't understand how
>so she proceeds to give a 5 min lecture on how squirrels are sexist
>amounts to:
>squirrels run from people
>she is a person
>squirrels run from her
>she is a girl
>squirrels run from girls
>q.e.d. squirrels are sexist

farts that smell like movie popcorn
ability to talk to snails
excellent penmanship
quick growing hair
talk

The power to smell gold, only works in a 10ft radius.

If i think right .0001 of hour is 36 secs...thats not that bad. superman can be super fast so you could do lot of things like stealin money,games,clothes of walkin by women and other ;v

standard Jewish racial ability

Then you die of natural causes or anything else that happens in life. You get to dictate when you die pretty much.

100% all good powers

kek

That's sounds pretty useful in mexico

KEK.

The Ability to travel through time at the speed of regular time

topkek

the ability to kill millions of potential lives with one orgasm

WELL, You could go back with that. I feel like that'd be perfect for testing conversation choices.

i never thought of a reverse function() nice catch user

kek