What is the easiest way to get layed? I mean E A S I E S T. I need to stop being a virgin NOW

What is the easiest way to get layed? I mean E A S I E S T. I need to stop being a virgin NOW

dont give me that hooker or workout crap. i need pussy fast but im poor and happy fat

Get a hooker.

Lose weight, get a personality, learn hygene

Fuck a fat chick.

not gonna help me

did u even read op?

Chloroform, a rag, and a daycare

If you refuse to work on yourself, your only options are fat chicks, hookers, or rape.

>fat
>poor
>virgin

>looking for easiest pussy

In your situation, that would be buying roofies and drugging some chick at a dive bar.

These arep retty much the best you're gonna get OP
Though honestly dont worry about losing it, get a girlfriend, don't fuck some random whore, it's never fully worth it

I wouldn't call fucking a fat chick counting as losing your virginity. You are probably accidentally fucking a fat flap instead of an actual hole.

Just go to a party with your friends and hook up with some sluts.

this

You mean kidnap and make love? Pretty sure it's illegal

I beg to differ faggot. Sup Forums has ALL THE ANSWERS somebody is bound to give me it

yeah but i dont want a slut and i dont use drugs i only drink

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS

try fucking men.

Ok good how do I get a girlfriend? I am from southern USA if that helps

Meet an online girl whose emotionally damaged, preferably someone who identifies as pansexual even though its all fucking bullshit, charm her, make her feel validated and special listen to her problems go to her fuck her brains out to your hearts content, watch the relationship inevitably end in flames because you are a poor demotivated piece of shit. then move back into your parents basement and finally decide you don't to be worthless and alone the rest of your life.

Well this is how i did it OP when, i was a sad poor fat virgin like yourself as long as your not like 300 pounds and 5ft tall i think you will be ok, just aim low like low they don't even have to be ugly or fat just find the girls with low self esteem and make them feel like your world if your incapable of even this you are beyond hope

>fat AND retared

>roofie her

>i dont use drugs

You dont even grasp the concept of a rape drug. Since when would you use a rape drug on yourself?

I don't know I have never raped anyone or used drugs you fucking idiot

Lower your standards to the point you don't have any. You don't expect a woman with standards to fuck some fat loser do you? You'd better take anything you can get because your options are severely limited.

>Get some cheap mdma
>Go to club/bar
>Spike a girl's drink
>Wait 30 minutes to 1 hour for it to kick in
>She'll become fucking horny and distorted
>Hit on her
>Take her home
>ez pz

bump

I am 5'6 and not even 260 pounds!

You don't want a slut and you are poor and fat?

You can only get a a fatty who wants to be a slut at this point.

get a workout and buy a hooker you lazy shit

I was 6"1 245 pounds, so i suppose i had it easier then you.

Autism levels this high. Still thinking he is going to get laid. What year is this?

I read OP loud and clear, but the sack of garbage doesnt want to be a human being and move his body

this.
use tinder

consecutive check'd

nada

>doesnt want to be a human
Excuse me but America is the leading nation in acceptance of obesity. You should look into it you fresh faggot

I don't think you're in any position to call others a fucking idiot, you made a thread trying to get some easy puh and you're already struggling to grasp it

You are over-complicating this, OP. Unless you are a morbidly obese slackjaw, even you can get laid. Easiest way to get laid is to go to a small town grocery store in the middle of the day. Find a woman with only a few things in her cart, and chat with her. Be funny. Tell her your friends told her that the only way to meet a nice girl is in a grocery store or at church, and that you don't belong to a church. Just let the conversation come naturally.

Get swole son

This.

Holy fucking kek
>being that thick

Gov to the mall and hit on groups of girls. Don't be creepy. Be hilarious. They'll be so impressed that you had the confidence to walk up to and hit on a group of girls that at least one will fuck you. I've done this and gotten double-triple blowjobs in bathrooms.

Go to the gym
Learn how to socialize and flirt better
Diet
Make yourself interesting through hobbies and stories
Meet new people (girls or guys, expanding your social groups is almost always a plus)

>LOWER YOUR STANDARD
He said he didn't want to lose weight

Have sex with your mother you fat shit

rape some young children

buy a pig and fuck it

use a mirror for added effect

stop being fat. that's literally the whole story. be better looking and people want to fuck you. it's not rocket science

I'm American and I hate you fat entitled fucks. You really should all kill yourselves. I pray for the day some kind of fast zombie apocalypse comes and wipes all you fatties out.

first get out of the house
then invite a girl to have a drink and make shots? Cake vodka + caramel Bailey's.

For sipping? Screwdrivers (orange juice and a watery vodka like Absolut - my favorite cocktail). Also, I really really like cider. Some good sweet (but not too sweet like Smirnoffs) ones are Angry Orchard, Ciderboys (especially the strawberry one), Strongbow Honey Apple, and Stella Artois Cidre. she will get drunk fast and passout thank me later

Look a nigger who's jelly of our perks. I see you everyday when im rolling the park. You stare, you glare and you scream of jealousity. You will never be one of us and you knowing it slowly kills you

Sauce?

Go to a park at lunch time. Lonely business people go to parks at lunch to eat their lunch, looking for companionship. Find a woman with a personalized plate, smile, and ask her what her plate means. Tell her you've seen her around town, and you're laying awake at night trying to figure out the meaning of her plate. She'll be flattered that anyone she doesn't know would devote this much of attention to her.

Make a pity thread on reddit about how you can never lose your virginity in this society and some dumb slut will fuck you

What's a personalized plate? If you mean pilates I don't workout

Neither have I but I still know how fucking date rape works

>I have never raped anyone

lmao faggot

...

plate?

Roofies

Personalized plate. It's a U.S. thing. A vanity plate. They are usually a creative variation of someone's name, their kids name, a school fight song, a sports team. Hell, talk about her car. Find something to break the ice. Women like a confident guy. It doesn't matter what you look like. Brush your teeth, don't look like a homeless guy. Anyone can get laid. Look at how many ugly children there are in the world. Every ugly child started with an ugly parent.

You just want to get the cops called on him

nice b8

At least I hope it's bait.

kek

Spelling "laid" correctly helps for a start.

I laughed in the real life

If it was easy, everybody would be getting laid. Put in some effort or die with a dry dick.