Yo Sup Forums how do I survive off £5 until next Friday?

Yo Sup Forums how do I survive off £5 until next Friday?
Paid rent, and now I got close to nothing.

Get a loaf or 2 of bread and ration it.

What do you need the money for?

suck dick for a dorrar

Get a payday loan

ramen noodles and dried cuttlefish.

Food

Go steal

You can survive for three weeks without eating anything. Just buy the cheapest shit you can and wait until Friday

Where, what?

Stay inside and shitpost for a week.

survival is NP, but if you want to eat and stay healthy why don't you do an odd job or two, maybe suck some dick.

but really just go to a food bank or someth

Obviously food. Get some Ramen.

Wooooooooooo fakken livin the dream breh
I fucking hate my life

If shit truly hits the fan and you can't get food at all, don't panic. Stay hydrated and enter low energy mode. You'll suffer, but a week of starvation should be easily survivable for most people.

Donate blood or plasma unless you're an AIDS riddled faggot. Buy potatoes or rice and live on that.

Check out local food drives at churches or something, I'm not sure, I've never been that poor before.

Any supermarket... Anywhere.

Steal some food...

use the 5 pounds to buy a mask and then break into a house or something then eat their food and search for money

Catholic Churches will usually feed the poor, Mormon churches usually have the best stuff but won't give things out openly. Head over to a Catholic Church nightly for some microwaved soup or something (and if you're an atheist like the most of us, be humble you faggot). They'll care for you if you don't mind hanging out with the rough crowd.

Get potatoes, more nutrin/pound should easily last till next friday

I'll give you money to suck my dick.

Buy a big ass bag of lentils and a big bag of rice. you can basically make lentil soup with rice in it, sort of a lentil risotto type thing and live off that. tastes like shit but its food. It's what I did. Or just find some random shit to sell on craigslist, its amazing what shit people will buy for a couple of tenners.

>No food
>no money
>prefers to pay internet connection

I was in this shit once before, sold by guitar and amp. Got £30.
But now I got no possessions to sell.

What if he's got free wifi at the McDs eh

I only pay for rent, everything else is included.

If you're willing to sacrifice your dignity (and possibly face legal issues, IIRC), you could try dumpster diving at a local restaurant or shop. Such places often throw away otherwise edible food items immediately upon reaching the expiration date. Hell, if you're lucky, you might even find some items that are still packaged and thus untainted by any of the other stuff in the dumpster.

it's not being a prostitute, it's just being a slut that loves cock

Just sell some shit on the internet. If you are really that poor and you can't afford some cheap ass food then it's worth getting rid of valuables.

This. Food bank at least but you could do a gig on craigslist or similar