Feels thread I want to be depressed

Feels thread I want to be depressed

Other urls found in this thread:

sanangelolive.com/news/crime/2015-03-14/man-sentenced-40-years-sexually-abusing-7-year-old-wife01236280
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Shameful self bump

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You gotta contribute too OP

You kids think this is funny because a week is a long time for you. The effects don't show up.
When you think in terms of decades it's all too obvious.

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The alcohol guy would be a fucking great typecast in movies who need a crazy man.
Just look at that face. It's perfect. Not even ugly.

How do you keep up with faking happiness and joy Sup Forums?

So my girlfriend of 5 years finally decided she wants to be alone. And I moved from California to Chicago for her. Great 5 years bad last few months.

Me too OP

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Why is it so hard to be good and not do evil selfish shit all the time. Why is hate so easy for me. I want to be good but I feel like my nature is to be the opposite

I often wish I could just be pure, whether that be pure evil or pure good, pure evil isn't conflicted like this.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I didn't need this

The funny thing is, I think in terms of decades even though I'm a "kid" because I'm fucking depressed. I look at this and I find it funny because I won't get to that stage, ill have offed myself already

I feel the opposite, I know I have so many reasons to hate people, but I honestly cant. And Im always getting fucked over or taken advantage of because Im so good natured. I wish I wasnt because I see people who I know have a real evil streak, get so much more then me. And I know if I just stopped giving a shit about others I could get it too, but I dont. Now that I think of it, I do hate 1 person and thats myself.

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Bro I was a junkie and I did many bad things in my day. Friends died and got hooked because of me some ended up in jail or under the dirt. One even made cp of his daughter for heroin money. I was pure evil and I thought I didn't care, like I was souless. I did care and it fucking hurt apparently
Now that I'm sober I've learned this shit really did hurt and affect me, pure evil is hard and it scars your mind
Matt I'm sorry you overdosed, I didn't know it was too strong

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could you have followed?

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Some music from these channels might help you op

Dogknightsofficial
Holyroarrecords

If it hurt you then you weren't pure evil, just mostly evil. Sorry for your friend Matt man.

I've never done drugs but I occasionally do incredibly selfish shit and the next day be the nicest guy, and whatever kindness I do show is just me trying my best to mimic what a kind person would do. all my inner thoughts are basically negative, is everyone like this?

I used to be in a similar situation, I wanted to become colder and stop giving a shit, now I struggle caring and wish I could give a shit again. internal war is crippling

I pulled up the roots just to see
I've felt differently since about disappearing
I placed myself back in the weeds
In echoes in alleys I'm reminded

(As close to close as we'll come)
As close to composure as I've come

I'd immersed myself in beauty and find it all vanishing
Empty, longing and vulnerable
Sharpen your knives

Neither a pawn nor a king
I am no-one , I am nothing
For this betrayal that's how I should be seen
Wearing scars I deserve, on a throne of nothing

Ethereal and haunting, the wandering and yearning
Characters I've kept, plotless and neglecting
The architect and monument
Neither here nor there, forever elsewhere

And so it goes
There's consequence
To these vowels and consonants
And I came as close to heaven as I'll come

Yep, these are the best years of my life.
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Get a fucking job.

It's song lyrics fucko. Also, I have Friday's off.

mass suicide where dat be

Easy.
Because you fucking go on Sup Forums to find solace.
You basically sabotage yourself by surrounding yourself with ignorance, bigotry, and plain ol racism on here.
So subconsciously you train your mind to be more, like them.
Its environmental. Don't want to end up a racist faggot that faps all day to traps, furries, and Loli, and talk about killing blacks and Muslims?
Then lay off the 4chin.
Simple solution.

Your probably right bro, funny thing is you don't know it hurts when you do it or even think about it later. I've only discovered that the shit I did affected me through digging and steps. I never felt any pain from it but it scared my personality/psyche in subtle ways that become apparent later.
Is that evil, not feeling remorse and becoming colder and harder with time? Burying shit deep with drugs and violence until you don't know/who what you are?
I honestly never knew this shit came back on me, I felt good at the time. I was a ruthless heroin selling machine and I loved being this cold blooded psycho. Fuck sobriety and bill wilson

My girlfriend explained to me that she felt like that a lot, she had a bunch of weird rape and murder urges and thoughts about hurting children or just all around being a shitty person. Counseling has helped her a lot, even without medication. It's better to talk about that shit, rather than keep it bottled up. She was always afraid that she was the next mass murderer just waiting to explode or something. Not sure if it's quite the same thing you're talking about, though, sorry if it isn't.

Then get some better music, this stupid shit has no subtly.

Yea I've been there, just wearing a mask pretending to be this well adjusted nice person. Really I'm just covering my own ass and manipulating people for my own ends

>Be me 20-21 years old
>Working as host at Denny's in Sunny Isles, FL
>10/10 qt 3.14 walks in for application
>FUCKYEAH,HEREYAGO.JPEG
>Girl gets hired and we become really go friends
>Hey can I get a ride home, user?
>Don't u live like a block away? "Idiot"
>Yeah but I need to tell you something
>OKAY
>Drive 1 block to her apartment

Cont.???? Trust me this is the feels story of my life

im listening user

do it bud

Bump

who else here feels like a genius (even thought you know you're not), surrounded by stupid people?

Feel like burning everything down and starting anew?

Hopes that anyone on the street gives you reason to punch him to death, even though you know you don't have the balls to do so?

good morning Sup Forums

>be me couple of months ago
>be at my grandmother's house
>she has gone through a lot
>she is at the hospital becouse of heart attack
>my father comes to my room "user we need to go to see your grandma"
>arrive at the hospital and go to her room
>apoch her to say some words
>she is asleep
>tell her thanks for everything
>she wakes up for a moment
>she hugs me and tells me its ok
>mfw when I am leaving and she says "and who are you"
>mfw those where her last words to me

That my friend is called the autismo.

>Tells me she really likes me and that she wishes her husband was me
>Make out pretty heavy
>Proceed to spend everyday and minute when not at work together
>Goes on for months like maybe 6 or so
>Husband was in jail for probation vio
>Tells me she's scared because she's in love with me
>Husbands gets out of jail and she completely disappears been 10 yrs b/ros
>NO FCKN CLOSURE

i really do i see things in life more pure than other people around me

My gf admitted she swallowed other guys loads before we went out..

I was fucked up before I came here but I suppose staying isn't helping my situation either, why are you still here user?

I do think that the purest form of evil in humans is true apathy, void of feeling for anything and a disregard for other's lives or feelings.

Every time one visits that abyss, if they ever manage to leave it they won't be as whole as when they came

I want to get a therapist at some point to help me with this shit, I didn't experience what your girlfriend had, I had more of a manipulative apathy thing going on, in my eyes it was " I don't seek to hurt others but I do what I want and if people get hurt, I don't give a shit"

It's hard user, and I see some people who are just so kind by nature, it's rare but I can see it in their fucking eyes, that if there is an evil in them that it is apparent the good in them is winning by so much. I want that type of good in me, I don't know how to be kind at heart, only do nice things a nice person would

Ho-LY fuck. I was ready with a Skelton meme before reading that line. Shivers.

Why not join her?

cont. pls

Has she swallowed yours?
> If so, embrace it. Maybe get her to do something new with you if it's an issue, something she hasn't done with anyone else.
> If not, find a new one

you're not getting any of this. Depressed enough?
I'm not giving you any. That should depress you.
Like my picture? Fap and wish I'd suck your cock, then get depressed about how it's never going to happen. You'll never have pussy like me.
Never.

You're in Sup Forums, you also has it

Sorry to be the one to bring you the bad news

>I do think that the purest form of evil in humans is true apathy, void of feeling for anything and a disregard for other's lives or feelings.
You need to get out more, i've been around people who seek with every available moment and with all their energy to harm others. Every interaction they have with other humans is about them getting their way and trying to wreck things. Who gives a shit about apathetic people when there's critters walking around like that?
I think you might have gently masturbated yourself into some dream universe that isn't much to do with reality.

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Shit user the feels. Similar thing happened to me.

>Dad's on his last legs in a hospital bed due to cancer.
>Wakes up after hours sleeping
>Starts talking to me about ordering shingles
>Dad thinks I'm one of his builder buddies from 10 years ago
>Mfw my father doesn't recognize me
>Humour him for 10 minutes before cracking
>Run outside and nearly break my fist on a street sign with retard strength

Funny story then actually
>Died peacefully in my arms a few days later
>Told him I was gonna be a doctor (17 at the time)
>Funny part is I'm a fat NEET lliving off his legacy at 24

That last sentence describes the exact way I want to die.

I didn't say that such a form of evil does the most damage, I just argue that it is a purer form of evil.

I've seen those who seek destruction out as well, they go out of their way to cause destruction, in a way they need people and care about them albeit in a negative way. Hate and Anger are not cold emotions, the absence of emotion is as far as one can get from being human. Thus I see it as the truest form of evil.

Name these people you have seen causing destruction, could you name a single one of them that has no fear of anything, their friends dying? their family dying? their own life? If one cares for anything they don't fit into what I see as pure evil.

Not to worry user, I cover it up with bipolar.

this hit me hard.

>Pokéfeels.jpg

pure evil doesn't hunger for or actively seek out destruction, but it is capable of destruction, It can take and lose without feeling anything. It is like a black hole, it doesn't seek out anything, but it will consume whatever it comes in contact with and show no remorse

Thanks for listening bro and sending Matt good vibes. I can't believe I'm sober and can feel remorse. Like I said earlier evil hurt me and will hurt most of us, even if we don't know it. Now that I want to be clean the wreckage of other people's lives that I caused actually hurts. Fuck people I never cared about anyone or regretted anything
My dead friends I helped kill, that poor girl that got raped on camera for dope money, these are things my actions led to and they keep me up. I used to babysit that girl, all the while selling the parents dope and getting them more and more hooked, it haunts me bros
I'm ripping this niggers nuts off when he gets out, he better not die in jail and I gotta stay alive till then!
sanangelolive.com/news/crime/2015-03-14/man-sentenced-40-years-sexually-abusing-7-year-old-wife01236280

fuck, got me.

Me as a junkie, I wasn't out too hurt people but I would've ripped the universe in half for my dope

no tbh

It is always hard to keep up with life user but I belive you can pull something great off

What you describe is not evil or good, both of which imply an action of some kind. What you call evil is more accurately described as static, no movement means no energy, no energy means no matter, and no matter means nothing at all. It's a death of sorts, and so how can one see death as evil?

exactly

that's some pretty rough shit bro, I hope you can move past it man.

Thank you. It's so easy to dismiss any positivity as bullshit but for some reason it means a lot from an user.

Thanks for listening bro, talking about it helps. Hopefully I can find his daughter and make amends, when she's older if she wants help, to talk, anything. That's unrealistic though, it would probably just hurt her to dredge all that shit up
He was my friend but I'll kill him when he gets out if I feel the same then, me and another friend are waiting on him. See how healthy I am? I said I might do it if I still feel this way

She left me Sup Forumsros...
I don't think I can convince her to stay

it's funny because it's a combination of things that lead to that. you can feed someone cocaine for years and they will be fine if they stay rested and eat properly and stay hydrated

Just having absolute apathy towards humans is the first half, I agree that is static, what makes it evil is when one still behaves like one with human desires, doing whatever they want without caring what happens to others.

death in itself is not evil, it is a balancer, what was given was life and death steps in to take it back returning 0.

I propose that one who is truly evil is an anomaly, a negative infinity that consumes whatever it feels like, you could kill their family, their children, even threaten to take their life and they wouldn't feel any of the pain they inflicted on others, a black abyss where it never balances out, what was taken was never returned only destroyed

no prob man, I saw the article, he sounds like a sick fuck, I hope the girl gets better someday. I wouldn't blame you if you took his life

One of our sayings in AA is were not bad people, just sick people trying to get better, I hope we all get better. I'm waiting for him though, I'll be old but old people can get guns. Thanks for listening brothers, we're all gonna get that pretty wife, white pocket fence life.
That's my biggest regret, maybe if I hadn't met him he wouldn't have started shooting heroin, I can't fix it but that sick fuck should be dead
What's bothering you today bro?

A truly evil person then could be said to be a pure psychopath, in the medical sense of the word. One who feels no attachment to anything. Studies I've read (but am too lazy to reference, invalidates my argument if you choose not to accept that I know but whatever) show that the majority of psychopaths are not physically violent unless they've experienced childhood abuse; in fact most of them are very successful.

Was every single member of the nazi party evil? No. Did the Nazis do evil things? Yes.

Point being no one exists in a vacuum, not all evil people commit evil, and not all good people are incapable of commiting evil.

IT'S HAPPENING! Sup Forums MENTIONED IN CNN CONCERNING ATTACKS ON SMELLARY!
You will always be a NIGGER!

Spoken like a true faggot. Kys

what you say is true, besides, I know of no human capable of becoming my definition of pure evil, I see it only as a theory, just as unreachable as pure good.

And you are right in saying that one cannot exist inside a vacuum of evil

No one is incapable of evil, and no one is incapable of good, which leads me to my current predicament, the internal warring of good and evil in me and it feels like the evil is winning. And even though I know wishing won't do anything, I wish that I could just be a pure version of one or the other, free of clashing with myself all the time

Dabs and bikes

The human struggle, welcome to life it gets easier the more you play

I suppose so user, I hope I can fare well in it, I wish the best of luck to you too

something i just got from facebook

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Well that was nice to read.

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story?

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The feels.

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its coming